<p>My son, age 11, is strong and solid, but not quick (he lumbers) and has not excelled (even modestly) in any sport. We have tried baseball, soccer, lacrosse, basketball, swim team. His motivation in these sports is low and he is usually among the worst on the team. I think some kind of physical activity is important for health, and ideally it would also serve as a helpful EC when it comes time to apply to college.</p>
<p>What do you guys think of, say, karate? He tried aikido a few years back and seemed to like it, but the studio was inconvenient and we had to drop it. I like the idea of the discipline and control he might also learn (he could use a bit more focus all-around). But when I visited a dojo, they talked about sparring, tournaments, and ‘Friday fight night’, and we saw the head protection the kids wore…um, the teens and adults wear no protection at all, despite kicks to the head etc. They talked about learning to ‘take a punch’. Though training towards a black belt sounds great, I don’t want my children getting beaten up!!! Is this what it is really all about? </p>
<p>I also worry about ‘mcdojos’ - the places that just are there to take your money. Strangely, the ones around here that have that reputation are exactly the ones that seem to do the best job of teaching the mental skills that I would want my child to acquire - patience, poise, self-confidence, etc.</p>
<p>All opinions welcome! Thank you for your thoughts.</p>
<p>Mine wiped out with team sports due to small stature, but enjoyed all of these:
fencing, yoga, wrestling, karate, aikido, circus training, juggling, cross-country skiing, downhill skiing, bicycling. Anything that is individual. Also they did some folkdancing. I saw many tall lumberers in English Country dance, contradance, and English Morris Dancing. For younger kids, they taught Irish Stepdancing in one community, and it was popular, but mine didn’t get there. We introduced some folkdancing to a group of preteens and all the boys objected until they tried it, and they LOVED it (6th graders).</p>
<p>You could try fencing! I’m currently a high school senior, have fenced for the past 5 years, and love it. The injury rate is fairly low. Don’t get me wrong, he will get bruises or welts, but serious injuries are rare.</p>
<p>If he is even slightly committed to the sport, it is fairly easy to qualify for national tournaments and, due to the fairly small fencing community, do well.</p>
<p>Fencing is both physically and intellectually demanding, having many similarities with boxing (footwork and strategy) and martial arts (timing and mentality). Requiring fluidity and flexibility as well as physical endurance, I believe the sport cultivates a well-rounded athlete: strong, quick, and intelligent.</p>
<p>Additionally, due to the smaller number of fencers, the fencing schools (IVY’s included) do look favorably on a ranked fencer. Unless he wins a national tournament, or perhaps the world championship, fencing will not make his application into the top schools, but it will help.</p>
<p>However, no matter what activity/sport you decide is right for your son (or daughter (just checked your title again)), don’t try too hard to instill an enthusiasm in your son that isn’t there. To get to a high enough level that colleges will take notice takes dedication, commitment, and motivation that comes from the self, not from the parent. I would suggest that you ask what he is interested in and then perhaps try a few different activities that he might feel were inspired by his answers. Then if he doesn’t like it, try something else. There is no need to find one single sport that he likes at such a young age, try out a few of the lesser known sports (like fencing!), and go from there.</p>
<p>my younger daughter took wing chun kung fu. She really liked it & it was convenient but she was the only girl and after a while that wore on her.
I also liked the sifu, he was an excellent mentor.</p>
<p>Team sports depends a lot on the coach and the team.
My youngest is strong & active, but is not a natural athlete. She has been on basketball & soccer teams where for a long time, she was the weakest player on team in many respects. However- in both those cases- the coach was excellent and helped her gain skills and progress to a higher level.
Her basketball coach retired after about 4 years ( this was in elementary), but she had been on her soccer team with the same girls for 8 years ( this was their last season they had been together for 10 years)
Even though it took * years* before she even scored a goal during a game, she was accepted by the team & at the end of her last season was one of the stronger players. Having this constant in her life- has meant a lot.</p>
<p>THese were recreational league teams- no cut.</p>
<p>In high school besides her rec league soccer team, she has been on track team & swim team. Not strongest player- but she really enjoys the team aspect as well as the exercise. SHe also joined a rugby team last year, which is totally different than soccer. Not for the faint hearted.</p>
<p>Oh I want to add- do not worry about making an EC list for college- that was never a consideration for us. Help them find something they enjoy and can stick with- or even just that they enjoy.</p>
<p>My son was similar. He took judo and then wrestled in high school. I would look into judo as it is more of a grappling nature and be great preparation for a strong solid kid who might be a good wrestler later.<br>
That said, the dojo and the sifu are a LOT more important than the actual martial art IMHO.</p>
<p>If you live near some water, you could see if there are any crew (rowing) teams around. These teams are for high school aged kids, so it wouldn’t be a possibility until later. This can be a good sport for kids who are strong (or want to get strong) but not attuned to sports that involve moving around a field or a pool in strategically useful ways. It’s also nice to find a sport that everyone starts when they’re older, so the kids don’t feel behind the minute they get started.</p>
<p>Many kids find badminton fun, but it does help to have good reflexes.</p>
<p>Some kids like doing things even if they aren’t very skillful. If your kid is like that, then it doesn’t matter if he’s not a star as long as he’s having a good time.</p>
<p>I did jiu-jitsu for a while, and thought it was great…I wasn’t very good at it, and I’m on hiatus right now because of my schedule, but I’ll probably go back to it in the end. In addition to the benefits to martial arts that you mentioned, it is also just great self-defense training.</p>
<p>There is going to be some physical risk involved with martial arts (or any sport), though. I broke a rib grappling in jiu-jitsu - not at all a common injury, but one that can happen (and one that also illustrates the point that a grappling-based martial art such as judo will not necessarily protect you from injury, nor will a striking-based one necessarily cause it). Full-contact fistfighting seems a bit sketchy, though. We never practiced techniques full-contact. Some senseis in various martial arts get too into being hardcore and don’t consider safety as much as they should, and should probably be avoided.</p>
<p>A neighbor of mine who is a HS gym teacher saw my son struggle with every sport he ever tried and kindly stuck a brochure for free golf lessons offered by the municipal golf course in our mail box. What a life saver. Kid will never be and was never an athlete but he loved being outside and the walking and banging and swinging and ritual of golf really appealed to him. It’s a sport he can participate in for the rest of his life, and when he’s home he’s happy to take $5 and buy a bucket of balls at the driving range and whack his aggressions away.</p>
<p>Lots of kids here do fencing, especially the ones who have early, bad experiences with soccer and the other mucho competitive sports. It seems like an active activity for a kid who may not be a star at some of the jock-ier type sports.</p>
<p>I think golf and crew are great suggestions along with martial arts.</p>
<p>My sister did Kung Fu throughout high school. She was the only girl most of the time, but she didn’t mind. She learned about the types of strength that she that men did not. She also developed great balance. Their school really concentrated on teaching the forms properly and completely, and they looked down upon the schools that solely focused on winning competitions and getting kids to black belts before they’re ready.</p>
<p>My S did many kinds of sports, but the one that really carried him through ages 7-18 was choy li fut kung fu. It’s important to observe the teaching and pick some place that will keep your kid going, not drive him away. My S was given the option of not sparring until we wanted to, and so for years he only learned forms. Then he discovered long “weapons” (foam) sparring and that he was good at it. Eventually, he became an instructor.</p>
<p>Here are what I consider the special benefits of martial arts: You can move at your own pace to reach goals that are clearly set for you, and each time you reach that goal it is celebrated with a stripe or fringe or belt, and frequently a ceremony. There are few other activities in which you have such a concrete measure of progress. You can do it for competitive reasons if you want, but you don’t have to. It increased his confidence in going out into the world, though he never used his kung fu outside the classroom. And, what I thought was tremendously important in my S’s case, it gives you a social world outside of the pecking order of school. In his case, this included college students and adults as well who were active participants in the kung fu school and who were really lovely about including him, especially once he was an instructor. The opportunity to instruct young kids was also great, not to mention a source of income for him through high school.</p>
<p>His school also had a significant number or girls and women, and some of them got very good.</p>
<p>I’ll throw in a vote to consider raquetsports if you don’t go with marital arts: tennis, badminton, raquetball or squash. </p>
<p>It has to be about what your kid enjoys. If they don’t enjoy it, they won’t be good at it, stick with it, or get much out of it. But so long as they enjoy it, they don’t have to excel.</p>
<p>Thank you for the great suggestions - please keep them coming! We are going to try tennis this summer (though I have pretty low expectations, to tell the truth). Fencing is interesting, but I’ll have to try to find it around here…</p>
<p>I do think that our son is going to be happier with individual sports, as someone mentioned.</p>
<p>Thank you for the comments on other martial arts…I’ve heard that body type can be important in choosing the best type of martial art for a particular person, but don’t know much about that.</p>
<p>There is a terrific Chinese martial art called contemporary Wushu. It stresses forms over combat and is great fun. The movie action star Li Lian Jie (Jet Li) was a Wushu champion and it is often used in the movies. It is a coed sport with many girls participating. If one goes to YouTube and types in Wushu, one will see many examples from all over the world.</p>
<p>Have you considered Table-tennis? I have seen quite a few kids excel at it, who were either too puny or too chunky for other sports. My DH who is stocky plays an awesome TT game.</p>
<p>It sounds to me like he has a wrestler’s body. Problem is, I can’t think of any programs for young wrestlers before they get into high school. Maybe you could look into a wrestling summer experience just to see if he likes it and if so, he could develop some skills before h.s. </p>
<p>Martial arts is a good activity for individual progress, but if the local program puts too much emphasis on fighting and he’s not into that, look for another version of it. My older son did hapkido all through high school, but he was never a fan of the sparring sessions and stopped going on the one night of the week when that was the main activity. Both sons really enjoyed a recreational crew program held over the summer, but couldn’t devote time to it during the school year. S2 has found his outlet for physical activity at the gym, specifically weight training, which he does with a group of friends.</p>
<p>Taekwondo is very popular now, and schools are everywhere, so you can check out a few before making your decision. My 3 very different kids all took it at young age (all 3 are black belts), and each benefited greatly in different ways. (And all 3 ended up accepted to their respective 1st choice colleges ;)…)</p>
<p>Racket sports could be a possibility here, but if the “lumbering” you talk about is indicative of his underlying body structure (i.e. a more heavyset kind of kid, in terms of body type) then excelling at any sport other than tennis would be difficult. All require quick feet, but badminton and squash especially require quick movements and speed.</p>
<p>However, they are great for teaching poise, mental toughness and discipline, and are also excellent for confidence and exercise if pursued seriously. A definite option to consider.</p>
<p>I’ve been thinking of rugby as a possible option for him. I’m only familiar with women’s teams, but if you look at a women’s rugby team you’ll see girls of all builds and strengths. I’m not sure if the same is true in men’s rugby, but if you can find a community team it may be worth looking into.</p>