<p>My other kids are 16 and 12. They start school 3 weeks before our son starts college. Move in day is a Tuesday (WT…?) Anyway, I figured we could drop them at school, then hit the road to S’s school approx. 2 hrs. away, then H and I would drive home that night.</p>
<p>When I mentioned my plan all kids were appalled! I must’ve grown up with too many teachers in my family. No one in our family ever misses a day of school for any reason other than deathly illness. </p>
<p>What would you do?</p>
<p>How does College Boy feel about it? I think it should be up to him. Also, would 16 and 12 siblings help or distract?</p>
<p>When we moved in D last year we left then 15 year old son at home - he stayed with friends. We were gone several days (drove from middle of the country to the east coast and then back). 15 year old had already been in school 3 weeks, had one of the leads in the school play and was busy with rehearsals. It ended up being a very special time with our daughter.</p>
<p>When my first went away to college (Texas to Virginia), we left my son home with grandparents flown in to babysit. Of course, we were gone a lot longer than one day and he would have missed nearly a week of school.</p>
<p>My gut reaction is to make that first child the focus of your undivided attention for that day. I think your original idea is a good one. </p>
<p>Practically, it is usually hot and chaotic on move-in day in our experience, and it seems the “fun” would wear off fast for the younger two! </p>
<p>What does your College Boy say? If he wants them there, I don’t imagine one missed day (or two if you get back late that night) would be such a big deal.</p>
<p>imo, let the other kids enjoy him while he is at home, but not on move in day…its already an emotional day for some, mixed with chaos and possibly hot weather, where people can get irritable. as he is only about 2 hours away…plan a trip with the other kids for a quick visit, out to lunch or something once he is settled in.</p>
<p>Not taking our two youngers. Would be of no help, would likely be bored while we attend parent sessions and D1 has her own orientation programs to go to, and would take the focus off of D1. (Would also be two extra airplane tickets.)</p>
<p>Also a vote to leave the kids at home.</p>
<p>We took my 12 yr old daughter with us to move our son to college. It was only one overnight, but they were both wanted her to go. I think my son wanted her along to help him with organizing, little Miss Efficient that she was. She will be 18 in a couple of weeks and judging by her room, she has lost her title!</p>
<p>I also agree that you college student should be the one to decide.</p>
<p>We brought the younger one to help move in the older one (and she truly was a help in moving stuff) but it was on a reasonable day, Saturday, rather than in the middle of the week. What’s up with that? </p>
<p>If it had been on a schoolday we wouldn’t have brought the younger one since it would have been the only day of HS missed if we had!</p>
<p>Compromise - if you end up not taking the younger ones, and since it’s only 2 hours away, assuming it’s okay with the college kid, I suggest taking the younger ones to visit the dorm room, the campus, etc. on the following Saturday or Sunday so they can feel more a part of it. By then the older one should be able to show everyone around some more - which building the classes are in, etc. The student might even appreciate a free, non-campus food, lunch.</p>
<p>Leave the siblings at home. If it were just the 16 year old, I’d say bring him along – he’s old enough to be thinking about college himself – but with both its only going to complicate matters. Since the college is only 2 hours away, it will be easy for the sibs to visit their brother on a weekend or school weekday holiday – and it will be a lot more fun for them all to visit after their older brother is all settled in and will have time to show them around. </p>
<p>Move-in day is just a really hectic time and handled differently at different colleges. Some places are efficient, but at others there could be a lot of wait time & red tape involved. The new college arrival is torn between paying attention to his family and wanting to get to know his roommate and make new friends – so the best things parents can do usually is to help the kid unpack, maybe stick around long enough to have lunch with your kid – and then get out of the way. </p>
<p>If it were a greater distance – the balancing of factors might be different – but this is a situation where you could easily drive your son up to his campus, help him unpack - and be back home by the time the younger two finish their school day. (Another hint: if you’ve got more stuff than you can reasonably unload and carry up to your son’s room in an hour… you’re taking too much. With your close proximity to campus, it will be very easy to bring up anything more that he needs when you go with the whole family to visit him some weekend in, say, a month.)</p>
<p>There’s no right or wrong answer. This is a big event in the student’s life and I think that if it is feasible for all to attend, it can be a great family experience. The family dynamic is changing and all members will be affected, siblings included. </p>
<p>We’re an all for one, one for all family and brought the other available kids with us. Everyone, including the one being dropped off, always assumed we would all go. The new student loved showing off their college to the sibs. Most of the focus at this time is on the new college student, but we need to remember that the other siblings lives are also changing. I think including them is a great way to ease the transition. If it is not feasible for the whole family to attend, then a nice family sendoff celebration with a family visit during Parents Weekend is another great option.</p>
<p>Again, there is no right or wrong, do what feels most natural for your family. Good luck.</p>
<p>I brought kid #2 to #1’s dropoff because my husband was not available, and the college recommended having three people – one to drive the car to the remote lot where you have to go after you dump all the stuff out of the car, one to watch the pile of stuff so that nothing gets stolen, and one (the student) to go into the building and fill out the forms.</p>
<p>But it was only an hour from home, and #2 was not back in school yet. </p>
<p>It turned out that the third person was unnecessary. One person could have watched the pile of stuff while the other drove the car to the remote lot and walked back, and then the student could have gone in and filled out the forms while the second person watched the stuff. This would have allowed for a lot more space in the car (the extra person takes up a lot of room), although the overall process would have taken a little longer.</p>
<p>We never used a third person for a dropoff again.</p>
<p>I realize that I am only talking about practicalities here, but practicalities are what I care about. I don’t think that college dropoff should be turned into some sort of ceremony; the situation is stressful enough as is.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t bring the sibs. But everyone might like to know that they can go visit during “Fall Weekend” or whatever it’s called.</p>
<p>There would not have been room in the vehicle for 5 people and all of S’s stuff. It was tough enough with only 3 people in the car.</p>
<p>My younger D had zero interest in going, so it was a moot point for us. But I think I would have been against it anyway, it is S’s big day. Little sister would have been bored.</p>
<p>Leave them pizza money to order dinner if you won’t be home by 6:00 or so, although if you are leaving at 8 in the morning or so I would think you’d be home by then. At S’s school they started student-only activities in the late afternoon, so there was no reason to stick around past 4:00 or so. To be honest S was ready for us to leave an hour after everything was unpacked.</p>
<p>My instinct is to leave them home on move-in day, but bring them for a visit very soon after - especially if they’re close, and especially for the 12 year old. It’s helpful for the younger kids to see where their sibling will sleep, eat, etc, so they don’t worry about him.</p>
<p>We didn’t bring D (15) when S moved in because she had tryouts for her school sport. But when D moves in this fall, her roommate’s family is bringing the THREE younger siblings (hs, mid school, and 9 yrs old). The college is 700 miles away, and the 9 year old is already upset about her big sister going away, so they figured she’ll be happier once she sees where her sister actually is living. School won’t have started here yet so they won’t be missing any days. I’ve gotta say, although I understand their reasoning I’m not thrilled about it. Move in is crazy enough with just the 2 roommates and 4 parents - three extra kids in the dorm room when we’re trying to get organized and arrange furniture may make a tense situation even more tense. I’m kinda hoping they give the younger kids a some thing to occupy them and send them outside to play or explore the campus or something…</p>
<p>We asked our oldest what she preferred when she went off to college … and then asked her brothers 16 and 12 what they preferred (within the options the oldest allowed) … and in the end the two younger ones came along to drop off their sister … we set expectations before the trip and it worked out great.</p>
<p>I’d leave the kids at home. Honestly, the less you can turn move-in day into a big “good bye” epic, the better it will be for everyone. Your job is to carry the stuff up to the dorm room, hug 'em, and send them on their way. The less you turn it into a big scene the easier it will be.</p>
<p>I agree with ID - it’s a super busy day, you’ll be running in a million directions, it can be emotional enough for the parents and the kid going to college, and much much easier without two more kids along. Our younger son stayed home for soccer preseason, and that worked out well for everybody.</p>
<p>My parents insisted on bringing my 16 year old sister, her boyfriend, my aunt, and my grandmother. Which made eight people including my boyfriend and I-- boyfriend and dad were the only two able bodied enough to carry things. It was ridiculous. Nobody should have come that didn’t need to be there. It is hot, it is crowded, and it is an emotionally charged day. By the end of it everyone was annoyed with everyone else, and I didn’t get to spend any actual quality time with my parents before they left because there was just too much going on, and it took us a long time to get everything moved up and by the time we got that far my sister had lost interest and wanted to go home when my parents and I had wanted to go out to dinner. We are not so far away that my sister couldn’t come up for siblings weekend, which she did, and it was a much more positive experience than dragging her to move in day. I say leave the other kids home. The crowds of people trying to cram into the elevators because they actually need to be there will thank you.</p>
<p>It sounds like this is a tight knit trio and the younger ones may be seriously interested in seeing big bro off. Sounds like time for some conversation on what is really going to happen that day:</p>
<p>1) Day before - load car
2) Day of – drive for two hours. Join massive hordes of others at campus. Search high and low for parking. Unload stuff. Hump stuff to dorm room. Meet new roomie. Stay long enough to get in the way. Drive home. </p>
<p>Actually, it could be a ton of fun for the whole family if 1) everyone wants in on it and 2) there is room in the vehicle for all the bodies plus all the stuff. The younger ones are not so young that you would worry if you lost sight of one for a few minutes and they might be very, very helpful. </p>
<p>Talk about it. It could be a grand family adventure. What College kid wants is pivotal – but a family send off could be nice.</p>
<p>I took my now 13-year-old son to drop off his older brother a year ago. Will do it again this year. He was an incredible help carrying things in the dorm, opening up the boxes, putting away items. He had a hard time saying good bye to his brother, but he would not trade away the experience of going to the college. He’s looking forward to the day he moves in … and with a lot less stuff.</p>