What I’m dreaming about:
- New job, new boss. Get to know the new team, delve into editing my first set of manuscripts. Try some places to work (home, cafes, libraries). Get into a work groove. Exceed expectations (not going crazy, just do a bit more than expected).
- Touch base with my old boss a month into the new job. Coffee. Chat. Catch-up. Keep the relationship.
- Family retreat (this is already booked for four days in a coastal New England town) to discuss Mommy's new job, changes afoot, and that there will more attention as well as new expectations.
- Join and find some bliss at a gym. (Doesn't matter what, stage 0 is just pick something fun and form a habit.)
- Organize our place. Massive toss/retire/donate outgrown kids stuff and unused things in general. Organize what is left in a way that makes it easy for the boys to help out around the house. "Everything in its place." and "Keep it as clean as you found it." Chip away an hour a day while my brain is chewing over some cool new science I'm learning.
- Family meeting to discuss chores: who, what, why and how much (aka allowance).
- Start learning to cook. Since fall is approaching, I think I'm going to start with some hardy soups, stews, chowders and chilis. I also want to try some baking with the boys, ie bake our own rolls. The boy love dipping fresh bread into olive oil and salt. Start easy with non-fussy beginner-friendly cooking, focus on the fun cooking together and eating together.
- Research and plan our winter holiday in Israel (first time for any of us) so we all get the most out of the trip (Jerusalem and Tel Aviv). Get and read the boys some kid-friendly history of Israel.
- Cook something special for Thanksgiving (we are guests at a family gathering).
- Keep seeing my therapist!
That is all I want to accomplish by the end of the year. It’s a lot!
^It’s a great list!
If you haven’t done much cooking, I highly recommend the Good Housekeeping Illustrated Cookbook.
https://www.amazon.com/Housekeeping-Illustrated-Cookbook-Step-Step/dp/158816070X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1533475520&sr=1-1&keywords=good+housekeeping+cookbook
It has step by step instructions, often with sketches, pictures of every dish, how long to expect to take, etc. I have used mine for 36 years and have had success with many, many dishes. The Ultimate Southern Living Cookbook is also a good basic choice:
https://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Southern-Living-Cookbook/dp/084871816X/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1533475742&sr=1-4&keywords=southern+living+cookbook
Good luck on your new path. I would make one suggestion—get an office that is a dedicated space so you can work without interruption. I worked in publishing (college textbooks) syarting
For some reason, I couldn’t edit above and finish. Just wanted to add that it is easy to get pulled into what’s happening in the household if you don’t let your kids know you can’t be interrupted while you work.
@Bromfield2 Yes will explore libraries, cafes and rentable work spaces (some wine bars rent space during the daytime to earn extra in daytime hours, and there’s the WeWork empire).
The role is part-time (20-25h/wk) and the boys are in school full days. S8 from 8:30-4:45 (including after school programs) and S10 from 7:15-4:15 (he has a long bus commute). So I will have ample time to work uninterrupted (even from home).
I am glad it is working out. Set small goals. You likely won’t be able to accomplish your full wishlist, at least not now. But that is OK - you are taking steps in the direction that appeals to you. Best of luck!
I would not patronize WeWork. Ugh. I’d look for something like The Riveter (our local workspace by women for women).
One small,suggestion:
If learning to cook is a goal, perhaps order from a company e.g. BluePlate for awhile. Let the family order together, and rotate who helps with the cooking.
Places I have worked at are very security conscious. They require us to log on to the firm’s network and no working in public place in case someone may see something over our shoulders. I have privacy screen over my laptop.
My daughter belongs to the Wing and really likes it - might be worth looking into.
Great suggestions. Thank you!
This NYT article could have been written for me personally… I would add that when a kid throws any “curveballs” even more time is bled from the lead parent (usually mom).
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/17/upshot/motherhood-rising-costs-surprise.html
From the article:
Maybe the women older than you, @Aspieration – that is, those women my age (I’m about to turn 70) – never told you how tough it is. Maybe we’ve created unrealistic expectations.
In my case, I had a horrendous commute on top of a very demanding job. I was out of the house for 13 hours every day. But I had full-time live-in help and my husband worked just 10 minutes from home, at what was generally a 9-to-5 job. Without that support at home, there was no way I could have done it.
Great article! Hopefully my DS and DD will remember how we made it work and improve upon it.