When I chose my college initially back in February 2020, I wasn’t excited. I had just been waitlisted from my dream school and found out it was near impossible for me to get off of it. I felt that my current college was the only choice I had, even though I had been accepted to other schools. When the pandemic hit in March, I viewed it as the universe telling me I made the right decision. This school was only about an hour from my hometown and my parents loved that if our campus was infiltrated with COVID, it would be fairly easy for me to get home. My twin brother viewed this school as his top choice and is a current freshman here with me.
When I got to campus in August, we learned that my school is strongly against us leaving campus and especially us leaving the town we are in. My roommate decided to learn remotely for the first two months of school (she moves in on October 12th), so I found myself alone.
Naturally, I’m pretty introverted. But I’ve met many people through my brother. Those people have become my friends and I also have other friends that I met on my own. Unfortunately to many people on campus, I am known as the twin sister of (insert brothers name). Even to some of the friends I met on my own, they met my brother first. I’ve also found I really dislike the town my school is in. I grew up in a city of 300,000 and this town has 40,000. There isn’t a lot to do other than schoolwork. For example, if I wanted to go to the mall, I would have to drive to my hometown.
Another bad factor is this school is very similar to my high school. I went to a very small high school (about 250 people) and about 1200 people attend this college. Everyone seems to be friends or friends of friends. Any drama gets around fast and I’ve only been here for two months. I feel very stuck in the environment I’m in.
If we circle back to the “alone” factor, the truth is that I would rather throw myself out a window than sit in my dorm room by myself. You would think this feeling would go away when I am with friends, but it doesn’t.
The true question here is even though it’s extremely premature, should I transfer? I know I would wait until the end of my freshman year, but I feel so trapped on campus. If I had the choice to leave campus even for 5 minutes, I would do it. I would rather go to the grocery store than be on campus. I’m afraid I tried to mimic an environment I was comfortable with and it backfired. If I transfer, it would be to the state school located in my hometown. I have friends there from high school which could be seen as negative, but if I transferred, I would be able to be own person, not just the sister of somebody.
This is very long winded question but I just need advice. Are my feelings condensed to the fact that I’m a freshman in college during a pandemic or would a change of environment force me to grow in a way that I don’t think this school would make me?