<p>My D who was recently diagnosed with anxiety disorder and depression is suddently struggling in college. She went from being an Honor student to having a sharp drop in grades. I am worried that her grades are going to reflect badly on her next step in life. Whether it is a job or internship or grad school. She is scheduled to graduate next year. I wonder if she should take a semester off and get this under control.</p>
<p>She is 500 miles from home and though I have tried to get her to see doctors at or near her school, I think I need to go with her and try to get better answers. Right now, they told her she has a chemical inbalance and just gave her med, which has been a rollercoaster ride, stable for a while but then if something sets her off, she will go into the rut. When she gets in the rut, she gets stuck there and agrees with everything but does not really listen, so I am concerned, she does not follow through. She also tends to stop caring and this is how her grades go down. Recently, she just stopped taking her meds. She just 'forgot". When she feels better, she panics about how bad things got. She did therapy initially but she said it did not help. I am going to find someone else and hope they are better. I don’t like the idea of meds, but if it somewhat helps her it seems the better alternative for now. I know I won’t always be there to get her out of the rut and I want her to get help to know how to do it herself, if this is possible. I don’t really know much about this, we never had anyone in the family deal with this, so we have no support in that area. </p>
<p>She does not want to take time off. She feels it will make her miss out on important classes and it would be hard to explain why she took the time off. This is not the type of thing you want to bring up in an interview. I have told her she needs to pull her grades up to have opportunities. I am not sure of the consequences of taking time off. It is also not ideal, because she would be home away from friends and with a lot of time on her hands. We are at work and or school during the day, so she would be lonely. She can look for a part-time job but that is not a guarantee where I live.</p>
<p>Would love to hear your thoughts, especially if you have dealt with this. I have read that this age is prime for having these disorders show up.</p>
<p>My D struggled for a year (all last school year 2010/2011) until finally in early Feb. (2012) decided a year off was in order (she decided, I’d been suggesting it for a year). </p>
<p>The way she is ‘explaining’ it in interviews is by describing it as a ‘sabbatical’ rather than a way to recoup and reassess. She mentions in her cover letters “In order to gain some hands-on experience in a relevant field I have taken a sabbatical from school to discover new opportunities and work towards my future career goals” - several interviewers have told her they thought that was a mature decision. She got a great paid internship in her field. </p>
<p>I wish I understood it, but it does indeed seem that anxiety disorder as well as depression and other chemical imbalances seem to be on the rise. As an aside, my D also deals with both issues, and is on medication as of the beginning of the year. She says she feels much clearer, and is very good about taking it. She is taking this time off to work, enjoy some down time, and as a fashion designer has begun her own repurposing of vintage items line of clothing. </p>
<p>Best of luck as your D navigates these times. Guide her, but don’t push her. Ultimately it has to be her decision(s), with the most amount of support you can give (my D is 3000 miles away, I wish it were only 500!).</p>
<p>Justamom, thank you for sharing your experience. This has been difficult for us to understand after raising a problem free child. I think the explanation your D is giving is a very good one. I was able to search other forums and see that many others have taken a semester off for many different reasons, so it seems to be common. It is just that she was looking to graduate early next year but with an inferior GPA, I doubt it would be a good idea in such a competitive world. So we will have to see. Wow 3,000 miles, I can’t imagine. There are days, I want to just jump in the car or get on the next plane to be with her.</p>
<p>My college roommate’s daughter struggled with depression and anxiety in college. Passed Fall semester 1, failed Spring 1, back for Fall 2, failed Spring 2, came home for Fall 3, back again Spring 3 to fail again, repeated again the next year. Four years at recognizable at CC very selective LAC and maybe two years of credits. She only was willing to leave for good when her class graduated. Now living at home and receiving appropriate medical and talk therapy. Thriving at the local community college and hoping to transfer to a local public U in another year or so.</p>
<p>Please encourage your daughter to take a leave of absence at the end of this semester. One solid year off to get her life together will be much easier to explain one day than the kind of record that my friend’s daughter now has.</p>
<p>This past spring semester (last year), I became really sick, my axiety was uncontrolled. I ended up barely scraping by that semester.</p>
<p>I wanted to go back in the fall (was still sick and axiety was still an issue) but, luckily for me, I was scheduled to have surgery the day i was supposed to move back on campus. I ended up doing online classes for that semester and this semester to get back on my feet.</p>
<p>I had to relearn how to control my axiety (medications do not work for me) and to deal with the aftermath of all of that. But now I’m healthy and looking forward to this fall. :)</p>
<p>Make the decision that is right for your daughter. Don’t worry about how the leave will look. With college costing as much as $60K/year, interviewers are probably not surprised to see cases where students opt to take time off and work to recharge enthusiasm and/or finances.</p>
<p>I am trying to convince her without being forceful. She does not want to do ti. Unfortunately, she was trying to graduate early and now this will cause a set back and makes her feel like a failure. It will cost more $ to take the leave but in the end, it is not worth messing up her GPA and having her not deal with this now.</p>
<p>Has she had an extensive physical including endocrinologist and hormone levels?
My D went a few years with various MH diagnoses until we finally found out she had severe PCOS. It was all physical. I wish we had known sooner. It would have saved us all pain and money.</p>
<p>icedragon, I have made this suggestion. She is currently telling me the course is not available and it is required. I think she is just not wanting to come home.
Sax, I have wondered about this. She had extensive bloodwork, but now that you mention it, I will go back to her doctor and ask if they have done this. I think he was looking for thyroid and mineral levels at that time.</p>
<p>Its not so much a thyroid test for PCOS as a special blood test. My kids level was so off the chart they thought they were screwing up the test. 3 repeat tests later and they were shocked at her levels. Never seen them that high. Caused depression, panic attacks, anxiety, sleep problems, weight gain etc. Thank god we didnt waste too much more time on the MH route.</p>
<p>Anyway look hard at all hormone levels for girls this age. WHo knows?</p>
<p>I agree with the other posters about checking for a physical cause. The thyroid affects so many things that most of us don’t realize. I would also check to be absolutely sure there are no drugs involved. She sounds like a very hard worker, so i doubt that it could be any part of it, but you have to be sure. In college there are always times when you need to pull an all-nighter and kids will use whatever helps them get through sometimes. I have seen kids that take a lot of otc stuff to keep awake. They think it is OK because it is not illegal or a prescription.</p>
<p>Obviously she needs to make some changes. While i don’t think that taking a semester off is a bad idea, it sounds like that you don’t really think that it would be helpful because she will be stuck at home alone. Is taking fewer classes an option? If she has been working really hard to graduate early she might be able to take it easy with classes for the next semester. That way she can keep working toward grad.</p>
<p>She does need to understand that if she fails to take her prescriptions then you will be forced to either make her come home or to find a school close to home. Maybe the worry over having to live at home again and commute will be enough to make her more responsible about the medication.</p>