Should my parents care about how much I study and other stuff?

<p>My parents haven't really cared how much I study/My ECs etc. But this week my mom was like "you're a junior, perhaps you shouldn't be wasting so much time online/watching DVDs etc, and study?"</p>

<p>and i was like "HA! helicopter parents are bad!"</p>

<p>if my parents are telling me to study more/stop wasting time shouldn't it not be their business?? shouldn't i be self-motivated anyways, since it's MY future...does that count as helicoptering. if they tell me, "perhaps you should study more for your tests," does that break the rules of "do things you are PASSIONATE about and not do it to please your parents/go to college etc." :P</p>

<p>plus my parents dont have a clue. im a straight A student and there's really not much to study anyways. they're just like, "well then perhaps you can improve on the AIMEs/bio olympiad etc." but the people who are going to make camp/usamo have been studying for years >.< so there's not much i can do now. I guess they have good intentions, because I really shouldn't be spending so much time online anyways :D (especially on CC look at my post count ^_^)</p>

<p>so i just spend lots of time...not doing anything...which they think is wasting time.....and I do ECs, too, i guess, but they dont know that and think whenever I'm in school at a club meeting they think im at a friends house or something :P</p>

<p>oh well. this was a pretty pointless rambling ^_^</p>

<p>I cant speak to your situation, but Im a results person. To me, if someone get the results they want and are living up to their potential, it doesnt matter what they do in their spare time. If they aren't, then it's time to reevaluate how that time is spent.</p>

<p>So, something triggered this new interest in your life, your work habits....what do you think that was? Have you recently expressed interest in different career goals? Do your parents have new friends with offspring your age with whom they might have been comparing notes? </p>

<p>It probably is a bit late for them to teach you much in terms of work habits, but maybe they have had some recent self-reckonings on such issues.....they want better for you. </p>

<p>That is the main thing to remember....they want you to be the best you can be...their intentions are good. Do your best!</p>

<p>Good luck.

I do ECs, too, i guess, but they dont know that and think whenever I'm in school at a club meeting they think im at a friends house or something


<p>If you want the nagging to stop, all you have to do is start telling them what you do with your life. I didn't know my S was in a Philosophy club until HE brought it up at the dinner table and told us something interesting from that hour. I didn't know he was doing a solo school project on Black History Month until HE described it.</p>

<p>Take some responsibility to communicate. Talk about whatever you want them to know about you. And if you find you don't really have much interesting to say about your afterschool time, then they were right.</p>

<p>I'll bet your parents are just getting anxious about the whole college process. I have a junior also, and wrestle mightily about how much to nag/encourage him. From their perspective, college is such a big deal but there is very little they can actually do right now to affect how this will play out. So they're doing one thing they think might help, and that is to nag/encourage you. Do they know you have straight A's? Also, I agree that you should tell them when you're working on other stuff with clubs, etc, and that will reassure them. Are they around other kids much to know how much time all kids spend online?</p>

<p>your parents sound a lot like mine. my whole schooling career they have not really cared or tried to help me with anything (not like i ever needed help but hey) and now my mother randomly asks me (as a senior) if i have homework...every night. i just laugh it off</p>

<p>I'd periodically get anxious when my oldest spent so little time studying. Hey I still think if he'd spent a little more time on English he could have gotten A's in it too, not just every other course. He never did study for the AIME - and it showed. It's normal for a parent to nag a bit, just reassure us you're on top of things.</p>

<p>If you're a straight-A student without studying either you are truly brilliant, or you are not taking challenging enough coursework. Only you know which it is.</p>

<p>And about following your passion and not "doing it to please your parents or get into college" life there are always things you will have to do that you don't like as much as others. Maybe some day you will be lucky enough for that not to be true. </p>

<p>For now, (and when you're in college) know that you may have to do some less pleasant things in the service of a future goal. Keep your eyes on the prize. :)</p>

<p>Do you want them to pay for your college? Then what you do with your time and how well you do with studying is their business. (Of course, since you're still a minor, it's their business anyway - legally, morally and practically.)</p>

<p>Any time you say, "It's my future, but you have to pay for it", you're in their business.</p>

<p>I don't know what has triggered your parents' sudden interest in your schoolwork (but I suspect it has more to do with suddenly realizing how close you are to the college application process than with anything you have done).</p>

<p>What bothers me, though, is that you are getting straight As without doing much work. This situation in itself is poor preparation for college, where even the best students need to spend substantial amounts of time studying and need to learn to study efficiently. I wonder whether you have any ideas about how to help yourself prepare for the more academically rigorous world of college.</p>

<p>uh...well, it's not that I'm not taking challenging courses, because I am taking more APs than my school allows, and more than any Junior has ever taken before...I had to get the department to make an exception for something...</p>

<p>and i <em>think</em> my school doesn't have grade inflation sends about 15-20% of the kids out of ~400 to top 20 schools.........</p>


<p>I seem to be watching my D more, as I've realized what her college options will be and struggle with how much money I want to invest in them. She's also a straight A student who seems more involved with her extracurriculars and friends ( great kids BTW), and I wonder if she'll be able to manage her time in a more challenging environment. I try not to say anything but it WILL influence my input.</p>

<p>I agree with Shrinkrap:</p>

<p>My S was a natural achiever in HS w/o a lot of effort. I also considered how hard he tried and how often he took the inititive to get involved in things that stretched him when deciding how much of a financial investment to make after HS. </p>

<p>If S had been "whatever" to HS I would have been less likely to go the more expensive OOS private route rather than pay for in state public.</p>

Do you want them to pay for your college? Then what you do with your time and how well you do with studying is their business.

[/quote]'re right :) My parents do want me to go to a good school, though, which I'm guessing is why they're a little anxious about what I'm doing in my junior <em>not</em> paying for college would kinda defeat that purpose wouldn't it? Hopefully, I don't think college will be that much of a problem since they have enough money to take the house apart and then rebuild it up exactly as it was before -_-</p>

<p>I'd be careful about interpreting what will be a "problem" financially for your parents, and also about how they will define a "good school" as the date gets closer. My D has some really "good" state options, and some good scholarships as well. Both require "paying" but not skipping vacations or pushing back retirement.</p>

<p>So, OP says his parents don't have a clue. Well, attitude can become a real issue for some clue-less parents. As HS winds to an end, some parents realize that the legal "have to's" are about to end. It is an interesting thing to watch when that starts to sink in.</p>

<p>One definintion for a "good school" is good enough for the effort the student seems willing to make. I mean seriously, why waste a spot at a highly enriched environment college on a slacker, right? </p>

<p>Not trying kinda defeats the purpose of going to that type school, dontcha think?</p>

<p>hmm...what situation do I have to be in to be able to take out loans and pay them back myself?</p>

<p>07DAD: Im really not a slacker. I just dont do much for schoolwork. I do a lot of ECs, though. When I said that my parents don't have a clue, it means that they don't know that I can basically not do anything and get As. why should I study when Im going to end up with the same grade? I'll just use my time to do extracurriculars, competitions, etc. Except my parents are like, "It doesn't seem like you're studying or anything. Why don't you go study for school?" </p>

<p>And that just gets me annoyed because it's very stereotypically ASIAN. </p>

<p>ANd it's not that I can't study if I need to. When I have something to study for, like AIME, I <em>do</em> study a lot...over the summer I spend about ~5 hours a day doing math problems (and still failed). But as of now, there's nothing much for me to do. So I'm sure if I'm in a challenging environment, I can be very determined to do well. But that's if I am challenged. And high school isn't very challenging. </p>

<p>My favorite school is MIT right now, and I know that if I do get in (chances probably slim) I will DEFINITELY study a lot. Well, I think I will at least.</p>

some parents realize that the legal "have to's" are about to end. It is an interesting thing to watch when that starts to sink in.

My parents don't <em>hate</em> me!! </p>

Not trying kinda defeats the purpose of going to that type school, dontcha think?

I dont know, but I will apply and I think adcoms will be able to sense laziness from a mile away. So I'll let them decide. Plus, what else should I be "trying"? All the competitions are is stupid...just clubs, volunteering...and that doesn't take up so much time. So much of my time I'm just here on the computer typing to you guys :P</p>

<p>By the way, I'm a girl. "Narcissa"?</p>

<p>I see different answers here but it seems to boil down to
No one is likely to lend you enough money to pay for a private school when you are just graduating from HS
No one seems to think it's a good idea to take out that much debt for undergrad</p>

<p>I must admit I am not feeling especially sympathetic as I am at work and my D is probably napping instead of filling out a scholarship application. She has been fortunate enough to get into a top 10 uni but with no money, and while we can afford it, I don't know if she shouldn't just take it easy at a less "good" school....grrrrrr! We might be disappointed but then we'd be happy to stay out of her businees.</p>

<p>wellllllllll........its not like my parent's can't pay for it...</p>

<p>besides, i'm more than happy to pay them back once I graduate, if they want me to.</p>

<p>ps. When I have something in front of me, like merit scholarship applications, I wouldn't be so lazy as to neglect deadlines and stuff...</p>

<p>it's just that now, I dont like being told to go study because that seems to be the epitome of asianness...</p>

<p>plus if you look at my chance threads and stuff i'm don't exactly do <em>nothing</em>!!</p>

<p>and I'm apparently very asian in terms of school and stuff, and I hate it when people are like "wow, you're so asian." so when my parents get helicoptery, that annoys me.</p>

<p>i expect someone's going to say "what's the point of this thread?" sometime soon, because it's basically just me rambling on and on...</p>