<p>My 16-year-old son and some friends decided they would take up boxing, on their own, no instructors or supervisors, at one of the kid’s houses. They have gloves and mouthguards, but no head gear. S maintains they don’t need headgear because it’s friendly sparring. He says they’re not trying to knock each other out and win a title, just landing blows for points. The participants can stop the boxing match by saying “stop” or “I give up.” </p>
<p>H and I just learned of this activity because S was boiling his mouthpiece on the stove last night. After hearing the details, we told him to forget it, no boxing with anyone without training, supervision and proper headgear. He thinks we are being smothering and overprotective. </p>
<p>We point out that an unintentionally hard blow can cause real damage to teeth or facial bones. And he plays the saxophone in several combos and the jazz band as his main EC — who needs a major injury to the mouth or lips? I’m mildly amazed that my mild-mannered musician has morphed in just the past year into a buff, weight-training, boxer-wanna-be and while we were encouraging the gym as a healthy activity, we’re pretty much opposed to the boxing. </p>
<p>This would fall into the “Over. My. Dead. Body.” category in my house. I’m not a fan of boxing. I’d be much more willing to have my S involved in karate or other similar martial art, and would try to move him in that direction instead.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, I think that’s one of those things that I would like to ban, but don’t see how you can. I am totally, 100%, against the sport of boxing. Blows to the head are never a good thing. But how are you going to stop him> I think you need to discuss it with him and express your concerns, and maybe even beg. But short of following him to friend’ houses, what can you do?</p>
<p>That’s definitely a concern — that he’ll blow off the risk and participate anyway behind our backs. I don’t even like the idea particularly in a supervised setting, but this trading blows at someone’s house seems way too risky. Of course, we run into the “the other guys’ parents don’t have a problem with it” argument. I better find out if the other parents even know about it.</p>
<p>My son used to do sparring in karate (body blows, kicks, etc.). They always wore headgear (plus hand & foot gear). You can get a serious head injury w/out protection. </p>
<p>If your son is interested in that sort of thing, he may want to check out Tang Soo Do or other contact/fighting martial arts. There are some interesting disciplines that focus a lot on combat and self-defense. He might find that rewarding.</p>
<p>Having done a lot of product liability defense work, I have a deep fear of head injuries. This falls into the “too big of a risk” category. He needs to find a more structured setting and use every piece of protective gear available. All it takes is one misplaced blow, even accidental. My son had a classmate die (after a coma) from a legal football hit his senior year of high school- and that was WITH protective gear!</p>
<p>You are not being unreasonable - he needs to box in a professionally supervised setting.
Perhaps there is a gym nearby that offers boxing instruction?</p>
<p>Get him to at least get some professional coaching and protective gear. No supervision and headgear is an accident waiting to happen. My dad’s told be stories of how him and his older brothers would box, and a stray hit turned his vision shades of green for several hours. Lots of sensitive equipment up there.</p>
<p>I learned how to fight, indirectly, because I was in band, and it became necessary a few times carrying my french horn home from school.</p>
<p>The first thing to do is notify the parents who own the house in which the boxing is happening. They could find themselves on the hook for liability if something happens in their house. (And, of course, let the other parents know as well - I never accepted the “other parents” line without verification.)</p>
<p>Second thing to do is find your son boxing lessons. Have an instructor explain to him what boxing takes and why there are boxing lessons, and what the dangers are of “friendly sparring.” If your son won’t listen to you, maybe he’ll listen to a coach.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the replies. My H is not the wishy-washy sort, but I sometimes am and your responses have strengthened my resolve. The kibosh is definitely being put on this activity and he will know there will be dire consequences — loss of use of the car, etc. — for taking part against our prohibition. </p>
<p>The compromise position is finding a martial arts sparring or boxing program taught by people who know what they’re doing (not ‘my friend’s cousin who’s showing us how’) and use all the protective gear. </p>
<p>I think one issue is that he has a bit too much time on his hands right now, since school is winding down and he hasn’t found a summer job yet. That is going to move to the top of the priority list, that’s for sure. Maybe two jobs.</p>
<p>I remember in high school when I took part in these “friendly” matches. They usually start out that way, but it always gets out of hand. I wouldn’t allow it if there was no supervision. </p>
<p>But if there is a responsible parent around, why not? Kids should know how to defend themselves and it’s great exercise.</p>
<p>Gator: I agree about self defense, but these kids are really talking about throwing punches for fun until one of them says, “enough.” If I can get them to go to an established program and they want to practice at one of our houses, I guess it will be okay if the parents are home and supervising. </p>
<p>Chedva, the liability issue is a good point. </p>
<p>SofO: My S took weight training for PE as a sophomore and really took to it. He’s been continuing on his own at the local gym. He has taken pride in seeing his strength grow and I think it has given him confidence and made him bully proof, if you know what I mean. Freshman year, some kid kept jumping him and putting him in a headlock or a police choke hold. That does not happen anymore since he got much stronger in the upper body. </p>
<p>My feeling is weight training good, boxing bad. Some self defense training would be fine, though. </p>
<p>I remember a story from a long time ago of a young man, just graduated from Columbia, who was karate kicked in the throat outside a bar in Manhattan. Crushed his windpipe and he died instantly. Young men should know how to protect themselves against an assault.</p>
<p>Unsupervised boxing in a friends basement? No way, never! Going to a local gym or boxing club to train under professional guidance? Not as big an issue, and I’m sure once they see the level of training and work it is, this fad too shall pass.</p>
<p>Besides, even the guys “in trianing” will not go “full contact” during sparring more than 1 - 2 times a week (too much for the body to take). Most of the “real” training is with drills and physical conditioning, with “light” sparring mixed in.</p>
<p>The boys want to knock each other around in a “boxing match” for a while? Get a Wii (which has a very fun boxing game included), and let them have at it to their heart’s content!</p>
<p>I’m not a parent, nor do I know much about this subject, however, I do have a small anecdote about this.</p>
<p>At my brother’s college (SUNY Binghamton), a group of juniors took up boxing with each other and unsupervised. Two best friends were going at it, and one ended up accidentally killing the other.</p>
<p>Not the greatest or heart-warming story, but even though your S says they can stop at any time… You just never know. It was a huge tragedy that happened at Bing and probably doesn’t happen all THAT often, but still, especially without headgear, it’s a huge risk.</p>
<p>The main thing that disattracts me is the fact they don’t have a trainer – without a trainer it seems too much of a risk (no supervision from an expert) for too little a gain (they don’t learn from an expert).</p>
<p>And I say this as another teenager. What you need is for one of his peers to make fun of the idea of unsupervised boxing. </p>
<p>(It does seem quite “lame” to me. I get the whole urge to spar and stuff – but train with an expert man.)</p>
<p>I absolutely would not permit this. Google “Juan Contreras” or check Lansing State Journal (MI) references for a really tragic story of a 12-year-old boy who suffered brain damage in a boxing match in March 2008.</p>
<p>And Bullet’s suggestion to get a Wii is a really great idea.</p>
<p>The first rule of Fight Club is you don’t talk about fight club. At 16 your son is old enough to make his own mistakes regarding boxing. Getting knocked in the head could be a very good lesson about boxing.</p>
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