<p>There’s been liquor of some sort at all the most recent weddings I’ve been to, but they were pretty lavish affairs. One had a martini bar as well as other mixed drinks at a cocktail hour. The other was a Chinese wedding and we sat at our table immediately. That one just had wine at the tables. A smaller student wedding which had the reception at a small NYC restaurant had wine and beer. The bride’s Dad chose the wine - he considered himself a connoisseur - it was very good wine.</p>
<p>Years ago I was the long term GF of a boy whose older sis was getting married at the Country Club (east coast) where both families were members. It was an open bar however the time ran past the open bar time. I was in charge of keeping the guests in check until the bridal party pics were done and they went WAY TOO Long. I ended up authorizing extra time at the open bar, sure that the bride’s father wouldn’t want people to have to pay. I guessed right and he was good with my decision.
Fast forward and I was a hotel manager who helped organize these events. A few ideas:
However, now there is liability, etc. involved. If you go with open bar, even just beer and wine, I would recommend setting a time frame for it. Maybe before dinner and then cut it off, close it down. You will save yourself some money, some liability and some drama.
After all, the goal isn’t to chase down as much free booze as possible. You would be surprised how much some people will overdrink because it’s free. (Think Cruise Ship Buffet).</p>
<p>PS Missed Kluge’s post…agreed…have beer and wine and probably there will be another bar over there for those who just feel they need the hard stuff and wanna pay for it.</p>
<p>I have two girls, I better start saving up for this. Wait, I am still paying for their schooling. I hope they will wait for at least 10 years after college before they get married.</p>
<p>One other way to handle it: I was at a wedding recently that was an early evening ceremony and then a dinner reception. Open bar right after the ceremony, then switched to wine and beer only as soon as everyone was seated for dinner.</p>
<p>If you’re having a sit down dinner, do not have a bar. Have the wait staff serve wine. That way there will be some limit on what will be served. </p>
<p>I also have been to many weddings, day & evening, where no alcohol was served. And not for religious reasons, just because the families were not big drinkers and did not think it was necessary. We had no alcohol at our wedding, although H is European. However, an uncle and a close family friend were known to be problem drinkers, so we decided none was safer. We never had alcohol in our house because my mom did not like it, although dad drank beer and brandy when he was out. </p>
<p>I guess it may depend on the circles you operate in, but if you have a sit down dinner, use the wait staff to limit how much is served. Depending on how many of them there are for a given number of guests, they will only have time to serve so much. When the meal is over no more wine will be served, and when the toast is over the champagne is done. You could also cut out the beer. </p>
<p>I agree that a cash bar would be really tacky.</p>
<p>When DH and I got married, we had an open bar but we also had champagne readily available. We went through 33 bottles of $8/bottle champagne (105 people) and no one drank anything else. If it were my daughter getting married, I’d serve champagne all night and nothing else in the way of alcohol. </p>
<p>I think a cash bar is unspeakably tacky but I know people who think it’s no big deal.</p>
<p>My dentist (deceased) and longtime family friend, always served the best bottles of wines and liquors. Most never know the difference between something good and something inexpensive. As a good R, something inexpensive was in the ‘good’ bottle. He had already drank the real stuff. </p>
<p>Interesting people. Both were WWII, medical vets. Wife was a D-Day nurse.</p>
<p>We had only a champagne punch and a champagne toast at our small wedding. BUT remarkably there are folks holding bottles of beer in EVERY picture. (ours was a home outdoor wedding).</p>
<p>In the Chinese culture, groom’s family pays for the wedding. I am Chinese, my husband is white, we have two girls, guess which tradition we are going to follow.</p>
<p>I grew up in the midwest where the groom’s family paid for the alcohol. Even though I married in the south, we followed this tradition and had an open bar paid for by my ex’s family. We made sure we had a bottle of scotch for a dear friend who was a scotch drinker and plenty of everything else for everybody else. </p>
<p>Beer and wine are enough, though, especially if folks can slip away for something stronger if they want.</p>
<p>I offered a check as well, but never expected them to take it. Mrs P2N also wants the big party. It’s only money… I was sad when they went off to college (we have two daughters). </p>
Wonder how I know?</p>
I was sad when they went off to college (we have two daughters). </p>