<p>I think there’s a spectrum between “bold, brassy, sassy” and “reserved, shy, quiet.” In fact, I know there is, because my D’s at neither of those particular extremes. She’s outgoing, but more bubbly and funny way than bold and brassy. As for being shy or uncomfortable about singing in front of people…uh, no. Well, not now, anyway. When she was younger she felt totally comfortable in front of large audiences – school talent show was good; Yankee Stadium would have been nirvana – but did not like the scrutiny of small ones, even (or maybe especially!) if that meant just Grandma and Grandpa. That’s changed, though; now she’ll sing pretty much whenever anyone asks her to or whenever she feels like it. And she has always, always filled the house with singing, never hiding behind basement doors or running water. Can you tell I miss that now that she’s away at school???</p>
<p>I’m no doubt in the bold, brassy, sassy column (Though I don’t have the suggested “look at me” thing) and my course seems to be full of such people, to the extent I seem quite tame and normal :D</p>
<p>I don’t think bold, brassy, sassy and “look at me” are the opposite of shy necessarily. I think the contrast is more shy vs. outgoing. My kids are outgoing, not shy. They may initiate, lead, feel very comfortable in front of others, are very social, etc. I don’t think bold, brassy or sassy necessarily fits. I know that “look at me” doesn’t. My older D is very social and outgoing but I often have to say “speak up, I can’t hear what you are saying.” (when I am next to her, not when she is on stage) My younger one is loud, however. No mic needed on stage.</p>
<p>I’m glad that this topic has turned out to be of interest to some people. It sure has been to me, the mom of a performer who is definitely on the more reserved side off stage and fearless onstage.
I actually had a very interesting conversation about this with a teacher in the drama program at my D’s high school (a public hs for the arts). I commented in a conference that I found it ironic that a kid who would rather sit in her room at home and read plays and listen to Broadway musical soundtracks than attend a loud party with other teens could get up in front of hundreds of people (the more, the better) on a stage and sing, dance and act. He seemed surprised that this surprised <em>me.</em> “What you are not getting is that the stage is a safe place, especially for more reserved people,” he said (I am paraphrasing, but this is the gist!) “They know what to say, and they know what others will be saying to them.” He also commented that the stage and acting allow reserved people to express a part of themselves that they might not feel comfortable expressing in real life and in real situations. In addition, he mentioned that being reserved and quiet serves many actors well, because reserved people often are extremely astute observers of other people and of human behavior, which comes in handy when one is playing another person. I think that is definitely true for my D and has been an asset onstage, where she constantly surprises me.
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<p>because reserved people often are extremely astute observers of other people and of human behavior, which comes in handy when one is playing another person. - wow Lisa, that is so true. You can tell me something like I had a chemistry test today and like a month later I’ll be like how was the test, and they wont even remember. I have always been shy and quite. Def. not the one to go up and talk to people. I was also a leaf at auditions. Shaking, mumbling but now im much better. Im more the kind of person that will stand in a corner till someone talks to me then go and talk to them. And yes like NotMamaRoses D. I would much rather sit at home and read plays then go to a party though partys can be fun, except when they start playing the makeout game and you feel like a leper, but thats for another thread.</p>
<p>Random offtopic point on the subject of drama kids and parties - at my school, I hung out with the “drama set”. Our idea of a party was a sleepover with the group of us (guys and girls) where we would stay up all night watching Shakespeare DVDs :D</p>
<p>DramaPrincess, as a person who was a teenager in the late 1970s, the idea of a boy-girl sleepover seems absolutely bizarre 
though I hear that such gatherings are pro forma these days, especially among the private prep school set in my city. The sleepovers that my MT D attends are always all-girl, and consist of eating pizza (or sushi or other fun foods), watching movies and staying up late talking and just goofing around. So times haven’t changed all that much!</p>
<p>L</p>
<p>OMG. When the drama kids from my arts h/s found a place to all get together outside of school, you’d have thought it was the fall of Rome! However, having the boys there was no big deal because most of them were gay. It was cool because you could let it all hang out without worrying about getting molested or anything. (Not necessarily the case in college.) I personally went through my wild stage when I was younger, so by the time I was a junior it was mostly pass</p>
<p>DefyingGravity04, I am glad to hear you say that you feel more confident nowadays and don’t get quite so nervous about auditions! I think you should learn to think of yourself as brave: after all, it takes more courage for a person who is inherently shy and reserved to put themselves out in front of a group of people in an audition than it does for a person who is more outgoing and confident. Bravery is about overcoming one’s own fears. Give yourself some credit, honey.
One approach that might help you be more comfortable talking to people you don’t know is to “act as if” you feel comfortable and confident. In other words, put on your actor’s hat, if you will! Pretend you are confident and play the part. It may just work. After all, studies have shown that when unhappy people force themselves to smile, they begin to actually have a lifting of mood. So pretending with the appropriate facial expressions, etc. may have an accompanying physiological response. (As an aside, I heard Sir Anthony Hopkins interviewed about this topic. He was stating that, as he got older, he was more reluctant to do a number of “takes” on scenes in which, say, he has to have a heart attack. He said something like “My body doesn’t know I am just pretending.” I think he has something there, and science seems to back him up.)
One thing to know, DefyingGravity04, is that you are not alone in being reserved. Just read up thread.
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<p>It is weird to be put on the spot to sing for your family and stuff. It must also be weird for the family since MOST of us are such attention whores otherwise. Me included. :)</p>