<p>A few recent posts on the “rejection letters” thread about how some kids refuse to sing or do their monologues, etc. in front of their parents (or, indeed, for any small, intimate gathering of people) prompted me to start this thread, which poses the question “Is your MT child rather quiet and even a little shy when not on stage? Or is your MT child quite outgoing and extroverted everywhere (meaning in regular life <em>and</em> on stage?)”</p>
<p>My MT D is relatively reserved and quiet until she gets onstage, when she is fearless and completely at ease. This puzzled me, until one of her acting teachers pointed out that such a personality is far from unusual among performers. And, indeed, one doesn’t have to dig very deep in most actor’s or performer’s bios to find that many consider themselves to be “shy” or “very private people.”</p>
<p>Lisa…what you describe about your daughter is quite common. For some actors, I think when they get on stage, the idea of being someone else and all, they just open up and are not as able to do that when themselves. I have heard of many shy people who do theater. I have to say, however, my own kid is not one of them, LOL. Her nursery school report called her “exuberance personified” and she still is. She is NOT quiet, nor shy. However, like any actor, she loves being on stage and being someone else and telling a story. </p>
<p>I think the thing about performing in front of your parent with nobody else around, etc., however, is different. Even my own kid can find that awkward at times. She will do it for me but she insists her dad be on another level of the house. I think she is more into performing on a stage rather than just one on one or if someone asks, “perform for me” or something. I remember when she was little and she had performed Adelaide’s Lament on various stages in a wig and it was funny and all. But then she’d go to visit my parents out of state and they’d have friends over and they’d ask her to sing it for them and she never wanted to do it in that situation! Well, it still is like that. My D will sing for me in the car and she will show me an audition piece (well no longer as she doesn’t live here!) but I’m about the only person I think she’d do it one on one like that.</p>
<p>Edit…I didn’t realize there was a whole conversation about this on another thread this morning but I read this one first. But my kid feels like what the other moms were saying…Freelance summed it up…they’ll sing for thousands but don’t want to do it in front of a handful of people they know well in a living room. However, they are happy to do so in class (which they do often in college).</p>
<p>I think like in any business, there are all kinds of personalities. The shy ones have it harder sometimes as they don’t always present themselves as confident enough and it takes others longer to know them, but the outgoing ones can be seen as having big egos, over confident etc.</p>
<p>My daughter is mostly quiet and shy when it comes to being “herself”. She auditioned recently for a professional play and spent the evening before working on her “hello, my name is…”, rather than the song!!!</p>
<p>The outgoing personalities do so much better in broadcasting and communications as they can just be so at ease with themselves.(or perhaps that is an act as well! who knows)</p>
<p>I’m pretty introverted most of the time as well. I have to really know the people I’m with before I get a little more friendly. But on stage, I am very extroverted. </p>
<p>I think it also comes from the fact that if your parents want you to perform in random places (like my mom having me do monologues at the airport for waiting passengers on the way to OCU…) you don’t know that the people are interested in hearing you at all. And at school, when you’re with peers, performing, it’s easier (at least for me) to get embarassed in front of people my own age. Whereas when you’re on stage, you don’t see the audience, and you probably don’t know most of them anyway, plus they paid to come see you. It’s a whole different ball of wax. </p>
<p>I don’t mind performing in front of my parents, though… Except if it’s like high notes or belting that I’m trying to work on and doesn’t sound very good yet.</p>
<p>My D is described by adults as being “shy and reserved” but her friends would describe her as “hysterical and outgoing”…can anyone say Jeckyll and Hyde? She isn’t at all shy and quiet with mom and dad, but clams up in a room of grownups or with her teachers at school. When it comes to singing, she loves to belt in the shower, when working out on the treadmill, and when she thinks she’s alone in the house. She also loves to sing when it is just the two of us in the car driving somewhere. Put dad in the car and there is very reluctant singing, for example, only if she has to warm up for a lesson. She rarely sings for family when we are all together at holidays, but one time she sang for grandma and grandpa and brought tears to their eyes because they had no idea she could sing like that! What a quirky group of performers these teens!</p>
<p>My S is kinda shy in social situations with kids, although much better as he gets older. But he will sing anytime anyplace, just ask our neighbors!
To be a star: ha! monologues at the airport, I’ll chuckle about that all day!</p>
<p>I’m certainly not ever considered shy! I just only like performing on my own terms.Usually I’m fine doing any kind of acting thing, though musical things or singing things I don’t like doing in front of people.When I took up piano - my first instrument - it was purely for my own enjoyment. Normally I can’t even play if there’s anyone else in the room - if my mum walks in while I’m practicing I have to stop. </p>
<p>I remember earlier this year I had a long rant to my piano teacher about how I wasn’t a performing monkey to be trotted out to impress the relatives and she says that she feels exactly the same, and if anyone tries that with her, she says she only performs when paid the going rate I’ll have to try that one in future!</p>
<p>One thing that I <em>never</em> do is ask my D to perform for exclusively for family members or friends. I know that would be terribly uncomfortable for her. However, in the past, my husband and I have invited family members (grandparents, aunts, etc.) to come see her in a performance of a musical or play, and she seems OK with that, though to be honest, I ask her how she feels about that before I do it. </p>
<p>Those of you whose parents <em>do</em> ask you to sing or entertain for family and friends, please know that your parents only do that because they are so incredibly proud of you. As another parent said on another thread recently, we parents sometimes make stupid mistakes that, looking back, we wish we wouldn’t have made. But almost always, we make those mistakes out of love. I always tell my kids that there is no manual that tells us how to be perfect parents: we just make our way the best way we know how.</p>
<p>My S has never been shy on stage and has nerves of steel when it comes to performing and auditioning. He doesn’t ever let rejection get to him or keep him from trying again. Off stage he is very quiet and reserved. He’s not shy, but he doesn’t like to call attention to himself. When he is in a show he’ll make a few friends but is just as likely as not to skip the cast parties. He will never ever perform at home for family but can sometimes be heard singing in the shower. He won’t be majoring in musical theater next year in college but performing will continue to be his number one extra-curricular.</p>
<p>My D on the other hand is the life of the party. She’s always bubbling with fun and energy, making funny comments in class and joking around with her friends. When she performs in a show she becomes friends with most everyone in the cast and has a great time backstage. If we ask to her sing something at home she obliges us but launches into her own funny/comedic version of the song complete with weird voices and notes I never knew existed. While she is terrifically talented, she anguishes over auditions and gets pre-performances jitters (although they don’t show through once she’s performing on stage). However her nerves do negatively affect her auditions and any rejection will have her refusing to audition for anything else for quite some time. A bad audition experience earlier this year made her decide to pass up auditioning for her HS spring musical and instead return to varsity sports that she had abandonned a few years ago in favor of performing. Did I also mention that she hates competition including the kind necessary to successfully compete in sports? But she just loves the social interaction with her teammates and made a whole new group of good friends.</p>
<p>I guess the moral of my story is that we parents just need to let each of our kids be theirselves, find themselves and support them in whatever venture they choose to pursue next. I’m finding that easier said then done with my roller-coaster daughter but now that I’ve written it down I can use this post to remind myself.</p>
<p>My D sounds a ot like MT Headed’s (maybe is is Ohio). She is not shy around new kids and experiences but has nothing to say to a room full of adults. We had to practice repeatedly how to order food at a fast fod restaraunt on her own. However, she is a very social creature who from the time she was an infant could figure out what the prevailing group dynamic was and fit in.
She was also the one at kiddie performances or sing alongs who would be selected to come on stage. Her first film experience was at 2 and a half when she was at a farmers market with tons-o-kids. She was asked (actually we were) by the director of a documentary to be filmed releasing tagged monarchs. So she must have had and have some aura of confidence that says she is game.
She does not get particularly nervous about auditions, but the ones she is most nervous about are at school where she knows everyone involved and everyone who she is competing against.
BUT ask her to sing at home, Uggh! On occassion and if given notice she will do so. She did sing a beautiful duet of Try to Remember with her father for my parents 50th wedding aniversary, but she does not like spontaneous requests.</p>
<p>My d is is definitely the quite and shy type until she is completely comfortable with someone or something. She would NEVER be the one to initiate a conversation or go up to a group of kids and be social unless she knew them well. She is the one who cried at pre-school for nearly the entire year when I dropped her off. </p>
<p>My worry similar to that of drexel6337 in that she is the one who needs to practice the …“hello my name is…” and say it with confidence. I definitely have a fear for her in the interview portion of the audition. That is absolutely NOT her strength. She has been interviewed a few times on the morning news for some shows she has been in. When it comes to solo performances on the morning show, she’s great…no fear at all. When it comes to the interview after…she panics and freezes up. She has been working on it though. </p>
<p>It is so hard for me to believe this same kid will stand in front of a bunch of people and audition or perform on stage with tons of people watching. She does solo performances all the time when asked for different events, but will never sing for me, my family or her friends. She would never ever do the talent show at school or anything like that, but would be a part in a school musical. It’s strange. Her 11 year old sister…complete opposite!! Would enter any competition she could, would sing for you (even if you were tired of listening) and is as outgoing as a person could be. Honestly, I didn’t do anything different raising her…funny how that happens…</p>
<p>I have no scientific data, but from simple observation over the years, I think there are two basic personality types that inhabit theatre. One is the “Hey Hey, look at me” bold, brassy, sassy type that everyone would expect to find in show business. The other is actually a reserved, shy, quite personality who uses the stage and the character they take on as a way of “letting out” or, actually, “acting out” perhaps a slightly more aggressive (or, at least, louder -projection please) side of their psyche. Again, no proof, only an observation.</p>
<p>Mine is most definitely on the shy side. He currently enjoys playing the villanous roles . . . says he likes to be someone he’s really not and to do things and say things he never would. Currently he’s bee working on a monolouge in which he’s chewing out his father. Yes, he’s having fun with that one!!</p>
<p>ElliottsMom, I had no idea he’s shy! He is so well mannered and confident and friendly. And when he and my daughter met they both walked off together, talking–not the sign of a shy person!</p>
<p>i think you can be a little bit of both. i personally am extroverted, and i will be loud when I am close to you, but otherwise, im rather reserved. im outgoing, but not crazy. i really think that you can be both. also, no ego, (for me there’s no point to one), but im confident enough to not let others get me down. while i guess there are two main groups, i know plenty of people that dont fit into either. </p>
<p>also- i agree with the you can sing infront of thousands. i sang a national anthem at a minor league baseball game infront of 10,000, but get knee shaking nervous when singing infront of my family and friends</p>
<p>This is a great topic. Personally, I’m a very outgoing person in most situations, and while I do get some nerves before auditions, I am always totally fine once the audition starts (except for this year’s Pittsburgh Civic Light Opera audition, but that was my very first professional audition, so I can forgive myself some major nerves for that one.)</p>
<p>BUT here’s the thing - I get extremely nervous and inhibited when asked to perform my audition pieces in coaching sessions! Just ask CoachC. I’m never as nervous in a real audition as I am in a practice one. It’s so weird! And if I have to perform audition pieces for my parents or friends - oh forget about it! I’m terrible in those situations, for some reason. I just feel so uncomfortable! But I can go to a piano bar with a bunch of strangers and perform my little heart out, with no worries or fears holding me back at all.</p>
<p>We theatre people are a weird bunch, I tell ya.</p>
<p>Wow, this thread actually made me a bit more relieved. I’m definitely the shy type, and I hate singing in front of my parents or kids my own age in school. However, put me on stage singing to a dark audience, no matter how many are in it, and I’m fine. I can sing in front of adults I don’t know and it doesn’t bother me either, like with college auditions I didn’t get too nervous. I think I just get really uncomfortable singing in front of people I know, and seeing all their faces, and I think it’s a fear that people will think that I don’t sound good, although I know I shouldn’t care what they think. I’m fine interviewing too, which is odd, but that doesn’t bother me. It’s nice to know there are others like this, though, because in an attempt to have me pick a major with more job opportunities my dad has been saying “you’re not the performer type…you have to be loud and put yourself out there, and want to have everyone staring at you, you can’t be shy if you want to be a performer!” and frankly, I’m extroverted when I’m on stage portraying a character and I think that’s what matters the most. I agree with the whole thing of being able to open up a bit more when portraying a character- I definitely feel like I can take some more risks and say some things when I’m doing theater that I normally would feel too shy to say or do. I think it’s helped me gain a lot more confidence in everyday things too., although I’m still working on not being so darn shy!:)</p>
I just only like performing on my own terms.Usually I’m fine doing any kind of acting thing, though musical things or singing things I don’t like doing in front of people.When I took up piano - my first instrument - it was purely for my own enjoyment. Normally I can’t even play if there’s anyone else in the room - if my mum walks in while I’m practicing I have to stop. </p>