My DD’17 is currently on a Spring Break NE college tour with some classmates. They will visiting the school where DS’15 is currently a freshman this afternoon. DD has already said that she will not even consider going to the same school as her brother. It is already “off the list” solely due to having a sibling there. Anyone else experience this attitude? Or maybe have siblings at one school? I thought she might like having her brother around, but I guess she wants to forge her own path!
Both of mine went to the same university, but they rarely saw each other by chance as S was a senior by the time D was a freshman. They each had their own social lives, so planned interactions were moderate (at best). There were 6000 undergrads and 5000 graduate students, so a medium sized school with lots of space for each to be their own person. I loved it because I could visit both at the same time. S returned there for law school and D is now a Nashville resident who has been pursuing her masters degree part-time and who will graduate with that degree in May. I think they enjoy the common ties they have to their university when they discuss their experiences over holidays, etc.
2000 miles apart seemed to be the right distance with my kids.
i wish my D16 and S15 would have ended up at the same place. They could have shared a car, introduced each other to friends, watched out for each other, carpooled home, etc. They dont despise each other and sort of get along . . . but it looks like it wont turn out that way.
My twin nephews are at the same school – works great for them. It’s a state flagship, which is big enough for them to have their own friends & separate classes, but still see each other every once in a while. Not sure it would have been as great of a team experience if they were at a small school, though.
My D2 agreed to tour the LAC where D1 was a senior. Tour guide: “Do you have a sister who is a student here? You look just like her!” Kiss of death for that college. D2 was tired of being compared to her sister by HS teachers already.
It’s funny, my kids are young but we’ve talked about it as a “maybe someday…” kind of thing. The younger strongly feels she would rather go to a different college but when I talked about how huge some of them are, it would be like saying she wouldn’t live in our suburb because her sister did. She agreed that was silly. She now thinks that she would consider the same college if it is a large one and otherwise a good fit. But she’s still rather look elsewhere first.
Anyway, I think it’s completely normal and honestly there are less understandable reasons that some kids (or parents) veto particular colleges.
My two D’s had similar grades and scores so they could have gone to the same school but they were apparently looking for different things. The schools one liked the other hated and vice versa.
This could be a possibility for us. I haven’t talked to either one of them about it. They would be in completely different programs and they have related but different interests. They get along quite well, however, I could see them being acquaintances on campus. I suspect that younger D could ride with older D IF older D was to decide to come home at the same time (she has a boyfriend in another city so her plans may not include coming home at the usual times). Older D’s school is younger D’s second/third (it’s Mom and I’s first/second) choice so we will see.
The school where D is at is one of S’s top choices. We didn’t think it would be - they’ve always been at small schools, so S has always had teachers talking to him about D - he felt he really wanted to be at his own place. Most schools he’s considering are several states away from his sister. But after spending some time on campus with her, he fell in love with the school for the same reasons she did. Statistically they are very similar, so while they would never have classes together - 3 years difference and totally different majors - they would be in the Honors program together. I think it would be nice, but ultimately it’s his choice.
We know a family who had two daughters at the same law school. They sprang for two apartments so the girls wouldn’t kill each other.
My second son was seriously looking at the university that my oldest son went to but decided to go to a different school. There were alot of different reasons but a big one is that he wanted his “own school.” When my third son visited this second son’s school, he really loved it and mentioned he wanted to go there too. I talked to my second son to find out his feelings, and he had no problem with it, which surprised me. However, when I thought more about it, I figured that it wasn’t sharing a school that bothered him, but following his older brother’s path rather than forging his own. Plus this second son mentioned that it was a big campus and he probably wouldn’t really even see his younger brother.
Ironically, they both ended up in the same dorm (different room, different floors) for two years and ended up hanging out together sometime. Now that my second son has graduated, my youngest misses him. They became good friends as well as brothers in college.
I went to the same college as my two brothers. I was a senior when one brother was a freshman and the other brother I think also only overlapped one year. I rarely saw my brother and there was only one class we all three took - a drawing class, and yes the professor remembered all of us. He’s actually a facebook friend as well. One of the best teachers I have ever had. At a small LAC it might be too much, but at a medium size university, especially if you don’t have the same interests it simply is not an issue.
My kids went to the same school, and there were quite a few benefits for both of them. They only overlapped by one year, though, so they weren’t in each other’s hair that much.
My brother was a senior at Michigan when I was a freshman. We saw each other, but only when we went out of our way to do so or when our parents were in town. I don’t remember ever just running into him on campus.
I went to the same college (at times) as my brother. I could see his apartment from my balcony. I rarely saw him on campus. Rarely.
My daughter’s BF’s brother is going to their school next year and BF is excited. He’s 5 years older so this is the first time they’ll play on the same team (BF will be a grad student and has one year of eligibility left). The school also gives each sibling a $2500 grant.
I can’t imagine the girls wanting to go to the same school. Older D doesn’t even want to stay in-state because she doesn’t want to run into her classmates. She wants an entirely new adventure. Younger D wants to stick closer to home and is looking at some of the colleges her BFF’s are looking at and talks about rooming with them.
Some days I’m amused that we produced two such entirely different kids. Except for them both being tall and intimidating looking, they’re completely different inside and out. Genes, man.
My twins did have some of the same colleges on their list, though they wound up at different places. In hindsight it would have been awesome for them to have been at the same place.
We have a son and daughter attending the same university. Daughter is a junior. Son is a freshman.
To be honest, I know our daughter was not very excited at the prospect that her little brother might attend the same school. And I know our son considered the implications of going to the same school as his sister when choosing his school. They have always gotten along fine, but there were things to consider.
When our son chose not only the same university, but also the same major, his older sister was ‘coolish’ to the idea. We understood her reservations, but we were firm with our expectations on how she would treat her younger sibling.
Well, we’re now almost halfway through the second semester for our son and things are fantastic!! My husband and I are extremely happy. They have definitely become much closer. My son has become involved in the same RSO that our daughter is in, so they see each other more than they had planned. But they say it’s going really well. That’s a huge thing, when you consider the reservations they had prior to this Fall.
My husband and I make a day trip to visit them about every 4 weeks. We take them someplace to eat, go grocery shopping and hang out together at a coffee shop, before heading home. It’s really great!
We can’t imagine what their relationship would be like if our son had chosen to go somewhere else. It wouldn’t be terrible, but I can’t imagine them being this close.
My son wouldn’t even consider schools in the same state as the one his sister is at (she is 2 years older). It wasn’t because they don’t get along but because he didn’t want to be seen as “following his big sis”. I think he also just wanted to forge his own path with no question that he did it completely on his own. So he went the same distance away, in the exact opposite direction from home as her. Lucky for us, their semesters begin and end a week apart.