<p>Okay, the top two threads on this forum are one where we’re all vilified for being Darwinists totally unfeeling towards our children, pushing them like machines towards unattainable goals, and another where we’re coddling them, not letting them grow up, keeping them at home forever.</p>
<p>Sheesh!!! Folks, get a grip here—everyone of these articles is driven by an author who needs a THEORY, and fits every fact to fit that theory, and discards those that don’t.</p>
<p>If we share any serious parenting problem, it’s a weakness for succumbing to these various contractions of reality, and then either wailing “mea culpa” or vigorously defending ourselves from the charges.</p>
<p>I hereby declare my independence from these theory-mongers, and will strive (maybe successfully, maybe not) to refuse to reply to one more “you’re a bad parent and here’s why” threads…</p>
<p>Garland, I didn’t post the “Darwin” article to villify anyone – it was food for thought. I find it ironic, though, that some people are so caught up in a competitive mode that they see articles like those as an accusation or attack - or else feel compelled to “defend” their position in those threads.</p>
<p>Garland, I thought about this some today and realized that this is kind of like the “stay-at-home mother vs. working mother debate.” There is NO one universal “right” way to raise children — every family needs to decide which works best for their family situation.</p>
<p>Garland, you are right that one article is about pushing your kids and the next is about too much coddling. I guess no matter where you turn there are all these theories and warnings and what not and so no matter what ya do, you are doomed to be criticized as too much this or that! As if being a parent weren’t hard enough ;-).</p>
<p>Personally, I’ve never understood why anyone would listen to someone else’s ideas about what was best for his or her child rather than simply listening to his or her own child, anyway. It’s never been a problem for our family.</p>
<p>Garland The solution is a nice glass of wine, a good soak in a tub, a night without CC, and – you’re right – to enjoy your achieving and happy kids.</p>
<p>Thanks, Garland. I have no energy to respond to the threads about pushing/pulling/coddling/rescuing/giving an edge/restraining/driving/supporting/helping/ impeding/optimizing/accepting…etc…thanks for this thread, my chance to say I have no energy for the others…and also will “not indulge”…</p>
<p>If this were a straightforward topic with one right answer, the libraries and bookstores would not have shelves of books on the topic…</p>
<p>Kids hatch. If we are lucky, well meaning and a little bit energetic about it some of the time, at some point they fly away and have happy nests of their own. Then we get to withhold criticism of their parenting, too!!</p>
<p>Garland, my reaction was the same in seeing those articles. I kind of thought that the Darwinian approach was what applied to the parents. I swear if I had a weak heart, I would be dead now with what the kids put me through. They don’t seem to have a care in the world about those things.</p>
The solution is a nice glass of wine, a good soak in a tub, a night without CC, and – you’re right – to enjoy your achieving and happy kids.</p>