<p>My father served up the divorce papers today. It’s not finalized, but I’m pretty sure, it’ll go through. </p>
<p>I’m not going to wreck my entire life over this, but this is a crummy graduation present. How does this impact Financial aid and college in general?</p>
<p>Aww… I’m sorry to hear about that tlaktan. It might make your financial aid package a little moe generous (tell Georgetown… That’s where you’re going, right?), but no, it won’t affect you’re college experience as a whole that much.</p>
<p>I’m sorry to hear about your family’s situation and hope this is all for the best. Re: college…other than your own feelings, going to college should not be affected at all by a family divorce. RE: finaid…it depends on the school. Many schools require non-custodial parent income to be reported to them for finaid purposes…your father is STILL your father even if your parents are divorced. So in those cases your finaid picture wouldn’t change. Some schools do NOT require the non-custodial parent to give financial aid info and only use custodial parent. SO for some schools your finaid picture might change. Contact the finaid office at the school for particular information.</p>
<p>I don’t have any answers, just a big sympathetic hug for you and yours.</p>
<p>Lots 'n lots of sympathy to you–and to your parents. It’s painful for all–I’m the single mom of a kid who got into G’town, and so we looked into the financial aid situation…G’town does require financial info from both custodial & noncustodial parent…but the cost of the divorce (even if it’s amicable and kept to a minimum) will deplete assets and so you might find yourself eligible for more aid than you were before…but it’ll take til the divorce is done, and that could take a while…it is unlikely it will affect 2005-06 financial aid.</p>
<p>THere’s probably not a lot of bright side right now…but I can tell you from personal experience there IS light at the end of this dark tunnel…you’ll be ok, and so will both your folks…and don’t ever lose sight of the fact that their problems as a couple have NO impact on their love/support for you!!!</p>
<p>So sorry that you are going through this right when you have to make so many other changes in your life. Sending many positive thoughts your way.</p>
<p>There is not too much to add to what Thumper and overanxious mother have mentioned, but I do agree from my own experience with financial aid issues as a single parent, the FA officers will want to hear of this change in your situation. They may take into account that your parents (I am assuming) will have now two households to maintain, as well as the reduction is assets aspect. </p>
<p>Good luck to you, dear person.</p>
<p>Very sorry about this, Andrew. Since you have your award already this year, it will probably have no impact this year.</p>
<p>That is bad news. Big adjustment time for your family coming up.</p>
<p>When we were at my son’s first year orientation over the weekend they actually told the parents - “Please don’t surprise your freshman with a phone call telling him/her you are getting a divorce. You need to talk about it now.” Apparently it is maddeningly common that just as kids are trying to make th difficult adjustment to college they get that call…</p>
<p>Collegewise, it is a very bittersweet day. On one hand, I do have the divorce, but on the other, I did win two scholarships this week, both renewable for 4 years (for one, 5) totaling $3,500.</p>
<p>Andrew,</p>
<p>It is very lovely to read that you got these scholarships, and especially good that they are renewable. You will find your way through this tough time. Hope you are able to talk to your parents, and that if you need to talk to others you will find a way. I will be happy to talk via PMs if you would like (am a counselor who has been through it as a kid and as a parent).</p>
<p>Andrew - I was almost 21 and a junior in college when my parents called to tell me they were going to divorce. Now, my parents had not had a close or good relationship for as far back as I could remember, but still this news went right to my inner child who just wanted my “mommy and daddy to live happily ever after.” It doesn’t seem to matter if you are out of, or almost out of the nest; it still cuts deep. </p>
<p>I don’t know about financial aid, but you should contact your FA office to discuss, I would think. College in general? I hope it won’t have too much of an effect - it didn’t for me. It may make your vacation trips home more complicated. PM me if I can help. My thoughts are with you.</p>
<p>Andrew, Congrats on the renewable scholarships!</p>
<p>So sorry to hear your news. I’m sure all of these changes will be difficult. But congrats on the scholarships!</p>
<p>Weenie, what I see is parents who literally “stayed together” for the kids, and once they’re in college they split up. Very hard on the kids.</p>
<p>Bad news good news. It might be a major relief to go 300 miles to start a new life, eh? Do you have a person you know in the Fin Aid office? You might ping them and see how the divorce might impact your award–and you can also let them know about your success with individual scholarships. They will see what a winner you are–and you haven’t even arrived!</p>
<p>OTOH, a la Xiggi, I hope you are keeping track of your scholarship tactics and planning a special thread for other CCrs. Amazing what you’ve accomplished. Well done.</p>
<p>Don’t think that fund raising ability won’t come in handy in your future.</p>
<p>Cheers: 300 miles? More like 1900. :)… It’s good to bury business here in Los Angeles and fly over for a fresh start in D.C. At least, that’s how I’m seeing it. </p>
<p>I’ve adjusted myself a bit to the reality of a divorce – I’ve already contacted (via email) my financial aid officer about a possible divorce (since, technically, it hasn’t been finalized nor will it be final until after the start of the school year, I’m guessing). </p>
<p>I also know that the financial award letter can still be adjusted, as I just received a revised copy of my award letter today, changing it for an outside grant (EFC went down, everything else stayed the same).</p>
<p>Just a question of ethics, I received a $2,000 scholarship from an association, but they gave me the check directly instead of sending it to the school. The problem is, for the coming semester, I think I’ll be needing a laptop (actually, more of a certainty), but I don’t know if the computer purchase will fall under the all-reaching domain and jurisdiction of “educational necessities.”</p>
<p><em>sigh</em> So many things to wonder. Good thing I bought my summer reading book ** before ** today’s announcement. Now I have something to read to distract me from all the chaos.</p>
<p>Tlaktan - your parent’s divorce may not be “final” for a long time - in some cases it can take years before all the property issues are sorted out - but the key factor is the date at which they are separated. So if your dad has moved out - that’s as of now. The date of separation is generally stated in the initial pleading – the paper that has been served on your mom.</p>
<p>For purposes of financial aid (and taxes), legally separated is the same as divorce. In California, divorce is a 2 step process - first there will be a temporary decree, with the final decree usually being at least 6 months later - and as noted above, sometimes much longer. </p>
<p>The reason it is important is that the numbers are figured differently. You might also have a choice to make right now – which parent is to be deemed the “custodial” parent. Generally, for financial aid, its better to have with the poorer parent be deemed the custodial parent … but various factors can come into play. If your father is paying your mom child support or alimony (called “spousal support” in California) - then that will be “income” that she needs to report on the FAFSA. </p>
<p>As difficult as it is, you probably should sit down with your parents to discuss the financial issues, including asking how much you can expect in future support for college from each. It is going to be very important that you have the cooperation of the noncustodial parent each year in filling out financial aid forms - and decisions that your mom & dad make now as to whether child support is being paid and as to which parent claims you as a dependent on tax returns may also have an impact on financial aid.</p>
<p>I would suggest that you find a time to talk to each parent separately about these issues, and try to keep it as businesslike & unemotional as possible. You have done a good job so far of figuring out the money end of things for college. At least right now you know what college is going to cost. When I split up from my kids’ Dad 10 years ago, I don’t think either one of us had a clue that college was going to cost $40K+ a year for the kids, and we definitely had no idea of what issues were involved with the financial aid process - so we really didn’t do much in the way of planning. </p>
<p>Your parents are going to have to figure out how to divide assets as part of the divorce; there will be choices to be made as to how to dispose of assets and divide up money; and ideally the impact on financial aid should be considered. But it may be difficult to get them to focus on that right now when they both have other things on their mind.</p>
<p>Could be the best thing, it was for my parents, and they still meet for meals and gatherings. The statistics for divorce is obvious. People change just as you will change in the next 4 years.</p>
<p>A mentor told me that it is easier to find a spouse than a roommate. (his annual income in 4mill, and his net worth approaching 500mill). Moral: Concentrate on a roommate.</p>
<p>Divorce is hard on everyone, and not uncommon. Brokenness is a part of life none of us want to share with our children…but entering college this fall will be exhilerating. My parents waited till I was a senior in college to divorce. With time, I realized their marriage was more of a strain/burden/hindrance on me than their divorce turned out to be. The divorce actually made it possible for everyone (including me) to be free of something that would never work! I can predict for you that they are going to be pretty self involved and wounded for a year or more (and no doubt have already been for a while) and they are not going to have good boundaries (ie dumping their emotional baggage on you and everyone else) until they have time to truly move on to a new chapter of life. You have to protect yourself and find a place to talk during this “heavy” season not of your making. May I suggest that after you get through the freshman rush, you make an appointment with the counseling services at Georgetown just to get some coaching on how to sort of survive the After the Deluge phase of their failed marriage? You could use an adult who can help you set boundaries and allow you to grieve a little even though I totally believe that your freshman year will also be exciting, rewarding, and full of wonderful new teachers, cool adults and the comfort of new beginnings with great students.</p>
<p>Congratulations on your fabulous college prospects. You are a talented person and a competent person. My advice is to take advantage of the free services at Georgetown for counseling–even two or three sessions may be a big boost for you as you have had to listen to your parents going about the business of severing their ties. There is plenty of research that says short-term talk therapy that is has a focus…is very effective.</p>
<p>The other thing I can predict is that the day will come when you may see both of your parents happier and exploring healthier relationships and seasons of life. They can change and grow and heal. This is the happy surprise…people can and do get better. This is one of the upsides of divorce that no one tells you about in year one. Whatever feels bad now…the sense of failure and loss, the separation and feeling at “loose ends” will diminish and new doors will open for all of you. </p>
<p>Give your heart to your college and have a golden year…a year where you will absorb one loss, and also gain some friendships that will sustain you the rest of your life.</p>
<p>Dropped a Zed there, sorry! 2650 miles…</p>
<p>"Just a question of ethics, I received a $2,000 scholarship from an association, but they gave me the check directly instead of sending it to the school. The problem is, for the coming semester, I think I’ll be needing a laptop (actually, more of a certainty), but I don’t know if the computer purchase will fall under the all-reaching domain and jurisdiction of “educational necessities.”</p>
<p>It says a lot about your character that at such a stressful time for you, you’re concerned about ethics.</p>
<p>I’ve been on committees that have given those kind of scholarships. As long as the student really did end up going to college the semester the student was scheduled to go, we assumed that whatever the student spent the $ on would be appropriate.</p>
<p>We did not expect that the $ would only be used for room, board, tuition and books. We knew that students had other needs – including laptops, gas for cars, health insurance, dry cleaning, dorm furnishings and, yes, laptops! Congratulations and enjoy!</p>
<p>About the divorce: The stress and pain that you’re experiencing is, unfortunately, not unusual as many parents in bad marriages hang on until their kids graduate from h.s. and then proceed with the divorce. </p>
<p>When the school year begins, if you would like some additional support, use the college counseling center, which will be very experienced with helping freshmen who are in your kind of situation. If you’re finding it difficult now, talk to your parents about getting you counseling now from a therapist in your area.</p>