<p>As I headed down the stairs with the luggage at the end of Thanksgiving weekend at my brother’s, I caught a glimpse of DS in the act of MAKING UP THE BED IN HIS GUEST ROOM! </p>
<p>So, herewith, the first of I hope many entries in the list of indications that we parents actually got through to them:</p>
<li> Child has both the skills and motivation to be a courteous house guest, despite showing absolutely no evidence of said skills/motivation in either his own room at home or his dorm room.</li>
</ol>
<ol>
<li>Son wandered into the kitchen as I was almost - but not technically - done preparing dinner and asked if I needed any help. Yay! Next year, it may be that he asks near the beginning of the meal preparation. Progress is such a lovely sign that he might just turn out okay. :)</li>
</ol>
<p>I found out through someone else that my son is taking part in the Big Brother program at college, spending time once a week with a third grade boy. When I asked him about it, he said he was touched by a Father’s Day sermon about how men needed to be good role models to boys who don’t have those role models at home. He said he didn’t tell me because he just wanted to do what was right, not to get any kind of credit for it.</p>
<ol>
<li>Child (who used to be always so busy with his own activities and interests) has internalized the moral values we tried to teach him and is becoming a good man who cares about others.</li>
</ol>
<p>A couple of years ago (okay, maybe six), S refused my help with Secret Santa gift selection, stating “The limit is $10. I’ll just give her $10.” This past weekend, he and his friends chipped in and bought one of those new, impossible-to-find video game systems…FOR A FRIEND’S BIRTHDAY. When I asked how it went over, he said “Mom, he cried. It was amazing.”</p>
<ol>
<li> Child has learned (somehow) to be a gracious giver of gifts.</li>
</ol>
<ol>
<li>My son spent the Thanksgiving holiday with his grandma helping to care for her. He spent time interviewing her about her life and taped it. I heard all this from my sister who was sick over the holidays so he was helping everyone out and he was totally on his own with 97-year-old grandma.</li>
</ol>
<p>My son, who was the sort who had to be kicked out of bed every morning in high school and who never did anything beyond the minimum required, came home for Thanksgiving (this is his junior year in college) talking about a well-planned research project he may do next semester, about which he has already been speaking to a faculty advisor. He also brought home paperwork pertaining to an internship he had already applied for for next summer, although he said that he would prefer it if he could spend the summer doing research with professor X rather than doing the internship and that he would be e-mailing the professor about it this week.</p>
<ol>
<li>Child has somehow acquired some initiative (heaven knows how).</li>
</ol>
<ol>
<li>Son canceled one overnight at a local college with HS friends in order to have dinner with grandparents - and he was happy about it. (Still managed to do 2 other overnights.)</li>
</ol>
<p>My father-in-law has profound dementia. He can barely carry on a conversation any longer, and never makes any sense. Junior spends at least an hour chatting with Grandpa at every family event where Grandpa is present. Most adults don’t have the patience for this.</p>
<ol>
<li>Child (who used to be always so busy with his own activities and interests) has internalized the moral values we tried to teach him and is becoming a good man who cares about others.</li>
</ol>
<p>I had the pleasure of seeing my 15-year-old cousin, whom I’ve been close to since she was a baby, (1) patiently and lovingly entertaining my restless 4-year-old niece during dinner and (2) volunteering to go to a friend’s sleepover party 4 hours late in order to stay for the end of a family event.</p>
<p>Saw my 20 year old son take the car keys from his dad (who had had a couple drinks) and tell him in no uncertain terms that if you have had ANYthing to drink–you don’t drive.</p>
<ol>
<li>S is advanced at his off-campus job in large part because he is always on time.</li>
</ol>
<p>I used to wonder if we lived in the same time zone.</p>
<ol>
<li>S refuses to use car when he knows he will be drinking. He actually went to a neighborhood bar with friends, asked us for a ride to the bar and walked home at the end of the evening.</li>
</ol>
And we’re all so surprised! LOL</p>