<p>I always admired Pollyanna when she found good things about bad things. I invite you to take this challenge: The Silver Lining of Going to Prison: Lots of time to contemplate life. An opportunity to get in shape. What else?</p>
<p>Read the book “Birdman of Alcatraz”.</p>
<p>I was just talking about silver linings yesterday. </p>
<p>One that I have experienced: I was an extremely anxious child (and adult for many years). It was really difficult and affected my quality of life. I finally sought treatment for it and have gotten it under control. The silver lining of that struggle is that I recognize anxiety in children really easily (I am a teacher) and empathize with them. I can use my own experience to offer them support and coping mechanisms. It makes me feel like I am helping them a little bit in a way that was unavailable to me when I was a kid.</p>
<p>No experience is wasted. Prison, mental health issues, abuse, divorce, loss…there is always something to be taken from our struggles that can be turned around for good.</p>
<p>I guess it depends on the person and situation. My husband’s nephew, son of an educated middle-class couple who were loving, attentive and did everything right, fell into addiction. He spent a year in a tough jail and got out in October. Unfortunately, his addiction wasn’t helped at all and he is now on the street. His parents wish he were still in jail because at least they would know that he is alive.</p>
<p>I am so sorry for what you are going through, it is terrible, but your son will come home and his life is not over. If he comes out of prison and never strays from the path of legal behavior again, this could be just an unfortunate learning experience. My heart aches for you, though, because your son knows that he is responsible for what he did, but you will suffer for something you didn’t do. Good luck to both of you.</p>
<p>Fauxmaven, glad to see you back on CC. Have thought of you and your family. Sending good thoughts and prayers. Silver linings: for you, an insight and understanding to share with others. For your son, a time out and chance to restart knowing he has the love and support of family and friends.</p>
<p>I have to work hard on this one. Since my two sons both have a severe mental illness, life is tough in our house. But I AM thankful the older one is living at home while going to college! He’s getting to know his 14-year-old sister much better than he would have if he’d lived away. Also, the two brothers are very supportive of each other. They each understand what the other one is going through and know just the right thing to say during crises. I think the situation has also brought my husband and me even closer together than we were before. He is my rock, and I hope that I am his.</p>
<p>Read classic novels/literature. Write a novel. Mentor the disadvantaged - teach literacy to other inmates.</p>
<p>fauxmaven, I think the true silver lining of going to prison, if it exists, will not be evident until the individual is finished their sentence and moves on with life. How they handle that, and what they do in the future, may indicate that the time spent in prison was, indeed, a silver lining. I suppose if the sentence has prevented a path down the road to a bad or destructive or illegal way of life, and the individual turns that around, then the time spent will have been, itself, the silver lining. In my opinion, that’s what is of primary importance. What your son actually spends time doing while incarcerated can help that to occur, but, realistically, those will be things that he could have done without going to prison, right? Participating in positive activities will, I hope, be good for him as well as those he may be helping, but the larger issues are what truly need to be addressed, and I wish him every bit of luck in achieving that.</p>
<p>I always admired Pollyanna when she found good things about bad things. I invite you to take this challenge: The Silver Lining of Going to Prison: Lots of time to contemplate life. An opportunity to get in shape. What else? >>></p>
<p>Are they allowed to read? That would be my thing.</p>
<p>Some random thoughts:</p>
<p>Free room and board.
Can actually use the phrase, “When I was in the joint …”
You know where he is at night.</p>
<p>Time to recognize that life is a journey.
Time to recognize that this is his journey. It is his.</p>
<p>Appreciate the basics of freedom and value them more.</p>
<p>-He might get counseling…something we could all use
-He might have access to free online college programs. He could come out with another advanced degree
-He will have the opportunity to “own up to his mistakes”…something not all of us have been able to do
-He will expand his knowledge on group interaction and interpersonal skills</p>
<p>I hope he gets one of those really nice white collar crime locations where it is more like dorm living.</p>
<p>Fauxmaven, this must be tough on the whole family. You are handling this like a real trooper. Stay strong</p>
<p>Fauxmaven, a silver lining will be in finding the people who truly care about your S and the love and support that you will receive from them. You will know who your real friends are. </p>
<p>Take care, fauxmaven. I am keeping you and your S in my thoughts and prayers.</p>
<p>Nick Spano lost weight, got off of cholesterol medicine and learned yoga: <a href=“http://www.lohud.com/article/20130226/NEWS/302260113[/url]”>http://www.lohud.com/article/20130226/NEWS/302260113</a></p>
<p>I talked to someone this morning whose son is currently serving time in prison. </p>
<p>Her answer:</p>
<p>Her son got into trouble despite knowing better, and she thinks he would have continued to do so. His sentence broke the cycle and took him away from the path he traveled. He’ll be older and more mature when he gets out and hopefully stays away from what got him into trouble in the first place. She said he has plenty of time to read and reflect, and she thinks he’s using that time productively. He knows that he has the love and support of his family despite his mistakes, but he also learned that actions have consequences. He’s missing out on so many things he’d like to see. While in prison, two nephews have been born that he’s never seen. Only time will tell if the silver lining is that he turned his life around.</p>
<p>Good luck …</p>
<p>Fauxmaven, good to hear from you. Silver lining would be, time to catch up on reading and exposure to previously overlooked authors.</p>
<p>I think I would read, write, meditate.
Repeat.
[Long</a> Walk to Freedom -](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long_Walk_to_Freedom]Long”>Long Walk to Freedom - Wikipedia)</p>
<p>If he decides to go to college, he will have the material for a great essay.</p>
<p>FM huge hugs to you.</p>
<p>A good friend of mine reported her own son for drug dealing. She felt if she did not intervene, he would end up dead. She was also upset that he was turning younger kids on to drugs. He was 17 when she reported him to the police and her plan was that he would be stopped, dealt with as a minor and not be left with a permanent criminal record. She told me something was going on, but I did not know what until her son was arrested.</p>
<p>Well, the police apparently deliberately held off until the young man’s 18th birthday and set up a sting to catch him shortly after. He was arrested, went to jail and has a criminal record.
**
BUT he did turn his life around**. Initially, he was very angry with his mother – took about a year to get over it – but eventually he saw that she was genuinely motivated by her true concern for him. He is a much better and stronger and more appreciative person than he was before this experience. </p>
<p>He did, in part due to his mother’s intervention (researching options, writing heartfelt letters to the judge, pretty much camping out on courthouse steps to be supportive during his court appearances) end up being moved from jail to a very structured halfway house program that was quite effective for him. He was able, eventually, to take a part-time job and come and go with limits. </p>
<p>I am so proud of my friend and her son. When he graduated from the halfway house program we celebrated just as we would for any other graduation. </p>
<p>He now has a good woman as a significant other, holds down a job, pays his taxes and stays out of trouble. Really learned a hard lesson. Wish the whole thing could have been avoided, and certain careers are off limits to him, but given the cloud of what he was involved in, the silver lining is beautiful. He is very personable and IMO his story should not stay in the way of his future. If anything, I think it should impress those who learn it.</p>
<p>Best wishes to your family. May the time go quickly and may your son develop inner resources he would never have otherwise had. Seems like he knows you have his back.</p>
<p>Well, that is a tough one. I can say, however, that I met a wonderful women (we were in a musical together) whose job was teaching prisoners. If he meets and connects with someone like her, that would be a silver lining.</p>