Sinner's Alley Happy Hour (Part 1)

Parent Cafe
5361

<p>sluggbugg, that is one of the most amusing things I’ve read on this board.</p>

<p>Nice job…now take the rest of the day off.</p>

5362

<p>parent - I strongly urge you to read the “backissues” of slugg’s posts. Classics. EvilNeighbor, her son sleepwalking into a closet, her family in Nevada…We all keep encouraging her to publish. To find my favorite post, search this thread for pigeon popcorn. Yes. I’m serious.</p>

<p>I’m trying to think of a funny story to tell. However, since I have been sick all week with some disease whose main symptom is complete exhaustion and inability to get up off the sofa, the only funny story I could tell is about how the blanket fell off of me and onto the floor:).</p>

5363

<p>My personal sluggbugg favorite: Assland. :)</p>

<p>BTW I am sick too. Same symptom of exhaustion plus a sneezy cold. YUCK.</p>

5364

<p>While I am sorry you are sick, THANK GOD I’M NOT CRAZY! I was thinking that suddenly I had become a lazy slob as I had few other symptoms. Now I have congestion and headaches - phew who thought that could make someone feel better? Hope you get better soon SBMom.</p>

<p>My father always drank whiskey with lemon and honey for any illness…</p>

5365

<p>Last year while in Baja, I was unbelievably sick with a “cold.” It lasted so long and was so bad that I’m pretty sure it was walking pneumonia or something, but I just didn’t want to deal. </p>

<p>I found whiskey to assist greatly with the sort throat part. But it didn’t help for long. Perhaps I failed to prescribe a sufficient dosage for myself ;).</p>

5366

<p>I’m sick too. Not as sick as Alu, though I’m thinking after this weekend . . . </p>

<p>You see, tomorrow A.M. I’m heading up to Tahoe with the youngest D and her brownie troop to play in the snow. Well, chances are there isn’t any snow, it’s been so dry. We never go to the snow and youngest D has been waiting for FOREVER for us to go play in the snow, so I hope there’s something there. Anyway, yesterday the troop leader e-mails, BTW, there is no heat in the cabin. Great, no snow, no heat. Should be a hoot. </p>

<p>And then my H calls tonight from the eye doctor’s office and says his retina in his other eye is tearing (had one retina detach summer before last) and he will either have to have surgery tonight or on Mon. Well, so, now he has decided – he’ll wait until Mon. </p>

<p>I hope his eye lasts 'til I get back . . .</p>

5367

<ol>
<li>“I was feeling so bad, I asked my family doctor just what I had…” Best medicine ever–a good dose of the Rascals!</li>
<li>Good Chilean red…one glass only as needed</li>
<li>Heck with all this snow, no snow business…I am doing a sun dance. Let’s bring back Spring and Summer!</li>
</ol>

5368

<p>AM, I’m glad you’re feeling better. Your posts are a lot more chipper. Marmot soup is always curative. Remember to skin the little beasties before rendering. ;)</p>

5369

<p>P2N,</p>

<p>PETAM (People for the Ethical Treatment of A Marmot) are currently trapping your IP address…</p>

5370

<p>Darn, I was hoping if they were inventive, magical, supportive, even omniscient they also would be nutritious. So forget the marmot soup and break out the Campbell’s Chicken Noodle.</p>

5371

<p>Save a marmot–eat mor chikin!</p>

5372

<p>3 reason why we don’t eat marmots in Sinner’s Alley:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>They keep our tootsies warm in the winter (substitute your favorite body parts for “tootsies”). </p></li>
<li><p>There are those of us whose children would not be in college today if it weren’t for those wily and tenacious varmitts (that’s how we say “varmints” in Nevada). </p></li>
</ol>

<p>Actually, aggieson is home this weekend recontaminating the freshly laundered linens I put on his bed right before I left for Southern Cigaretteville (a.k.a. Las Vegas). He is sick with the same nastybugg that you all have.</p>

<p>And, C. Like our squirrelly friends, the marmots, we here in Sinner’s Alley eat only grasses, berries, lichens, mosses, roots, flowers, Cheese Nips, chips, booze (lotsa booze) and KFC, which may or may not be chikken. :)</p>

5373

<p>And chocolate. Lots of chocolate, generally for medicinal purposes. ;)</p>

<p>But chocolate is bad for marmots, so we keep it away from them.</p>

5374

<p>Hey Slugg! - the “Hoary Marmots” or whistle pigs are singing your praises in the back room!</p>

<p>Don’t forget Alphabits…it is my major food group; I can spend hours composing poems and snacking at the same time…</p>

5375

<p>Hmmm- mommusic - perhaps I will try an Alphabits and chocolate fondue ;)</p>

<p>AND MARMOTS ARE AN ENDANGERED SPECIES!!!</p>

5376

<p>Eating Marmots would be like eating Unicorn steaks…</p>

5377

<p>

</p>

<p>Oh no! They never told me this when I bought Marmot jackets for the whole family last year. I’m so ashamed!</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.rei.com/online/store/ProductDisplay?productId=47856325&storeId=8000&catalogId=40000008000&langId=-1&color=BLACK&img=/media/12045.jpg&view=large[/url]”>http://www.rei.com/online/store/ProductDisplay?productId=47856325&storeId=8000&catalogId=40000008000&langId=-1&color=BLACK&img=/media/12045.jpg&view=large&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

5378

<p>Feeling so much better; this bug is the 3-4 day variety…</p>

5379

<p>Whenever I’m in Boulder City (no, really – that’s what it’s called, and yes, Fred and Wilma Flintstone live in a condo one block down on Cobblestone Way), a tiny spark activates the most primitive part of my brain, and I begin to speak in my native Nevada-ese. Four years of undergraduate education and my degree in Linguistics from Berkeley suck right out of my frontal lobe and into Lake Mead like everything else that people grind up and flush down the drain around here.</p>

<p>I heard this conversation yesterday while I was standing in line at the hardware store waiting to buy a bucket to mix my martinis in…</p>

<p>(Old Nevada guy-desert rat): Hey there, stranger! How y’been?</p>

<p>(Dried-up ancient curmudgeon wearing a corduroy fedora and a baseball jacket zipped up to his chin): Well, jeepers! I’m 98 going on 89!</p>

<p>*It’s been so damn cold lately…<a href=“Note:%20%20%22dam%22%20and%20%22damn%22%20are%20used%20interchangeably%20in%20these%20parts%20’cuz%20we%20live%20close%20to%20Hoover%20Dam,%20which%20any%20red-blooded%20Boulder%20Cityite%20will%20tell%20yuh%20is%20not%20the%20real%20dam%20name%20of%20the%20damn%20dam.%20%20It’s%20Boulder%20Dam,%20dammit!”>/i</a></p>

<p>…It’s been so cold I haven’t been able to go out in the woods like I like.</p>

<p>Alright, this made perfect sense to everybody standing in line. Of course, the crusty old barfly wants to get away from any and all human contact. Who wouldn’t? The farther, the better! Underneath the psoriasis and skin cancer of every Southern Nevada native is a true hermit. Having your Nabisco cracker corpse discovered in a cave somewhere out in the desert is a badge of independence and honor around here. And, by “woods,” he meant anyplace in the desert where there’s a a patch of greasewood and a couple of ground squirrels.</p>

<p>I could see heads nod and people smiling 'cuz we all agreed with the old fart. When it’s too cold to go out in the woods like we like, we stay in the dam trailer (that’s singular, because in Nevada-ese, things don’t hafta agree).</p>

<p>I could hear a cantankerous ■■■■■■■ (<–not a swear word here in Nevada) in the back of the store yelling into the phone,</p>

<p>I know you have to take a shower before we go!! I’m doing my gawdamndest to fix it! After he slammed down the phone, he announced to everyone in the store that women don’t understand it when yer trying to fix plumbing! </p>

<p>::::smiley: Derrrrrr:::: I’ll be drinking martinis and drooling into a cup for the remainder of my visit. :p</p>

5380

<p>roshke–nice coats! Not to worry, though…I don’t think any actual Marmots were harmed in their making.</p>