<p>Just when you think they might be coming around they do another brilliant thing. Son 17 is at a program across the county this month. I am checking his bank account to make sure he doesn’t overdraw the account. I see a 150 dollar charge. Seems he bought a concert ticket on ebay for a concert somewhere in the area of his summer program. Granted he only has so much spending money for the program. I ask when is the concert. He tells me the date. The concert is the evening of the day he is scheduled to fly home. Duh, he didn’t think to look at the calendar. He then says well I might still go to the concert. I think I have made clear that his ticket is non refundable and not changeable.
Plus a rumor around town is that he might have gotten his tongue pierced!
I need a drink!</p>
<p>mom60; into the back booth with you for medicinal purposes!</p>
<p>As long as we are boasting, we have deduced that Mathson got 5s on all the APs he took this year by seeing how much credit he was being awarded by CMU. No scores from the AP guys yet. CMU doesn’t seem to have the scores from previous years so I foresee having to complain soon… I can never tell whether Mathson is playing computer games or working since his summer job is freelance programming. He’s also taking driver’s ed at the world’s most inconvenient time - the middle of the day - every day.</p>
<p>jmmom checks in to say Huzzah to all these SCSBs (So Called Slacker Boys) with their Mt. Everest-height test scores. Yeah, cheers called it. I say, <em>make</em> these moms buy as all a round! We indulged their weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth lo these many moons about how their sorry slacker boys would be the death of them come college application season. Methinks they hath protest too much. </p>
<p>But, hey… weep, wail, gnash, brag. Repeat. That would be the seasons in the life of us Moms of Boys.</p>
<p>Because, look, they’ll all be taking a page out of mom60Son’s book some day soon. Good one, mom60. Somebody get that Sinner’s Alley <em>Duh</em> trophy down off the shelf - the one we award in serial fashion when any of our Slacker Boys one-ups the last one. Add mom60Son’s name to the engraved awardees.</p>
<p>Me, I think I’d prefer the sound of the $$$ flushing down the toilet for the conflicting concert/air tix to the pierced tongue. But, then, I’m squeamish :o.</p>
<p>Oh no!, I have a recipient for the <em>Duh</em> trophy, Son called from program and asked me to send shampoo…REALLY! But as he is 14 I still have hope after hearing about all your sons accomplishments. Congrats to all</p>
<p>OK, mom of former SCSB (a.k.a. T(Former)SFH) reporting in from the road, where 2-day college orientation happens over the summer and parents are asked to come for part of the first day and take them home after they register for fall classes the second day. I am sitting in my hotel room, pinching myself at the young man emerging from the 10-foot-deep pile of frustration he created around me during his high school years.</p>
<p>Case in point: When the prefrosh students had left for a group meeting after parent farewell and I’d finally finished chatting with the Parent Council rep, I realized I had in my hand the folder he’d been given at check-in this morning, which he’d given me to take back to my hotel. I turned to one of the current-student Orientation Leaders (OLs) to ask if there was anything in the packet he’d need. </p>
<p>“Only the activity schedule,” answered helpful female OL.
“Whoops. Well, <em>I</em> am not going up there to give it to him, that would mortify him, any chance you’re going up there?” I ask.
“Nope, sorry,” she says, putting away some papers, “But don’t worry, we all know TFSFH, we’ll make sure he gets where he needs to be on time.”
(?? They all know him ??)
“He’s so funny!” pipes in huge hulking other OL (male), “And so enthusiastic! I was so pumped that he was here today, he just helps make all those scared and shy kids feel right at home, he’s awesome.”
“Yeah,” volunteers First OL student, "and there’s at least 3 or 4 girls already who’ve told me, ‘OK I’ve already picked out My Guy, that really tall funny long-haired blond guy from California, I’m going after him.’ "</p>
<p>Oops. TMI time for Mom. I wonder what his next nickname is going to have to be… :eek: </p>
<p>But at least you all know deep down that there <em>is</em> hope. And that there will always be something to worry about, if you’re looking.</p>
<p>mom60 that is hysterical. I can TOTALLY imagine Aluson doing exactly the same thing.</p>
<p>Except the tongue piercing. Even as a little boy he couldn’t stand to look at piercings. Made him think about the time he got his cornea scratched. Do I know why it reminded him of that no. But I take what I can get in terms of his motivation not to do things like pierce parts of his body that are required for key biological functions…</p>
<p>Haha. thanks for all the pats.</p>
<p>Recently hosted a friend’s SFS. He sends me an email that says he is arriving at 10:45 pm. No date. I assume it is that day but he never rolls up so i send an email. </p>
<p>“Oh no Mrs Cheers, I’m not arriving until xxx!” (You silly old cow was the message between the lines). “But is it okay if I bring two friends with me instead of one?”</p>
<p>Um, I do have a house full of family visitors that week but…uh…okay.</p>
<p>The day before he is due, “Hello, I don’t know if my parents called you but I’ve lost my passport (he’s on study abroad). My friends (who you’ve never met) are arriving anyway but I won’t be there for a few days.”</p>
<p>Two 22 year old boys I’ve never met arrive and we send a driver out to get them at 1 am. They stay at my house and we show them around town and take them to dinner. (They happen to be rancher’s kids–extraordinarily well trained and polite. Cleaned the kitchen after their brekkie as well as the housekeeper. Made their beds like hotel staff–that’s a first ever for an under-30 guest).</p>
<p>Friend’s SFS calls them to tell them he’s lost the police report that he needs for the Embassy. Emails me to ask if ANOTHER kid I’ve never met can stay–a girl. I say no, the inn is full Joseph. She can stay in the manger.</p>
<p>The SFS arrives–with the girl in tow–and she is American ( I thought she was a native). She says she is sleeping in the car. It’s an urban location. No way she can do that. Cha ching! Cheers gets another house guest!!!</p>
<p>The SFS apologizes all over himself and hands us a bottle of wine–and offers to take all six of us to dinner. I naively assume his dad has loaded his credit card. After the dinner, I give H the wink to pay half the bill–and he walks up to the cashier with the SFS whereupon the kid’s credit card is declined–and WE FOOT THE BILL :eek:. For six!</p>
<p>I couldn’t wait to get home to send his parents (dear friends) an email mocking their ridiculous SFS! This guy makes my knuckleheads look like CEOs! Hah!</p>
<p>We send the group on their way–and hear back that the SFS locked the rental keys in the car and had to leave the car empty on top of a mountain for a few days while the rental company couriered keys down to him. Crikey!</p>
<p>Unbelievably, this gorgeous girl, a real goer, fell for that SFS on that trip! </p>
<p>What was she thinking? Here’s a project?</p>
<p>These stories are hilarious, especially since I didn’t live 'em. :D</p>
<p>Cheers, my 21 year old niece, plus one other female student and two male students are traveling around your country right now (the girls had been studying abroad in a neighboring country all semester before this and are doing your country before returning home this weekend). I hope that wasn’t them at your house! :eek:</p>
<p>Great stories all–made my day! (echoing soozie–esp. as they’re not MY boys) ;)</p>
<p>I suspect the missing AP scores are due to the year that Mathson put in the wrong birthday. We thought we had fixed it…</p>
<p>Cheers, I’m laughing hysterically at your story. </p>
<p>Mootmom, TMI? I’d be thrilled!</p>
<p>Moot. You and your guy do give us hope. And the day 3-4 girls tell someone they are going after my son I will do a happy dance. At least I think I will…</p>
<p>My own nomination for the “Duh” trophy. When S left for his month in Costa Rica, I insisted that he call me before takeoff and upon landing. Got lots of “Mom, what do you think I am, I will be fine” type of resistance. Well, he lands in Atlanta, apparently, and his phone calls me unintended from his pants pocket only for me to hear him tell the flight attendant he has to get back on the plane because he forgot one of his bags.</p>
<p>Hehe. He confessed sheepishly to me later. I think if they can laugh at their cluelessness that has to be a plus, no?</p>
<p>Cheers. LOL. That might take the proverbial cake. I will have to tell S that cluelessness apparently is a good girl-winning strategy.</p>
<p>In our family the trend is, the more brilliant they are, the bigger airheads they are. Future absent-minded professors, I guess. It’s often amusing and/or aggravating, but we’ve learned to be surprised at nothing. And I think they are learning to deal with it. Or find significant others who are better organized!</p>
<p>Off the subject, I have a hypothetical question. Would it be too weird to weed the flower bed while watering it at the same time, IF I were wearing a bathing suit? When the weather is 90 degrees in the shade? </p>
<p>It’s either a great, practical idea, or the kind of thing I would roll my eyes at if my offspring suggested it. I fear I’m just a big old dork, getting worse as I lose my youthful inhibitions. :D</p>
<p>Hey, weeds pull out more easily from damp ground, we all know that! And wouldn’t your offspring be happier that you’re wearing a bathing suit than if you were doing it in the altogether? I say GO FOR IT, GIRL!</p>
<p>Just heard back from DH. He doesn’t think it weird at all. But being a guy, he probably likes his yard help female and dripping wet. ;)</p>
<p>There was a letter in the Ask Amy column this morning about a guy who does his yard work au naturel. (His wife doesn’t like it.) Amy said, “Good God, man, watch that hedge trimmer.” :eek:</p>
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</p>
<p>Then TSFKAWashDadJr = Einstein.</p>
<p>Hahahaha, great stories! Oh, Cheers…you were royally played. That kid was a master manipulator. </p>
<p>I got the usual call from the high school this week asking if I’d host a French summer exchange student. The mom volunteer sounded like she’d managed to score one of her kids’ wisdom teeth Vikes. She could have been starring in her own personal episode of, Weeds.</p>
<p>Last year when they called, I told them the long, horrible story of how they sent us a 22-year old Frenchman who got drunk at our house every night and consumed every ounce of cheese we had. We bought him some good Camembert from a local grocery store that caters to foodies, and he sniffed it and said that it was stale. My apologies, Monsier! Let me make you a sandwich of Wagyu beef, fresh lobe foie gras, black truffle mayonnaise, brie de meaux, rocket, red pepper and mustard confit and English plum tomatoes! Or, you can share the $h*t-on-a-shingle (chipped beef on toast) I’m having for lunch. </p>
<p>We took him up to Napa for a day in the wine country, and he explained with great disdain how California wine growers know crrrr–rap! about wine growing, because all of the vines were planted on the wrong side of the hill. Yeah, maybe, but Sluggdad and I enjoy a bottle of swill every now and then. </p>
<p>SluggyD and her boyfriend took him into Berkeley, and he asked them where he could score some drugs and prostitutes. When they walked past a Buddhist temple, he pulled back the corners of his eyes and giggled, “Ching chong, ching chong!” At that point, they ditched him, but the guy had an uncanny way of finding his way back to our house. One day, I gave him a list of places to visit in the City that would have taken an experienced Bay Area resident days to navigate on public transporation. I started him out in Marin County across the Golden Gate bridge, down to Pacific Heights, over to the Wharf, down Lombard, through Chinatown, across to Nob Hill, through Japantown, through the Mission and Castro districts, and back up to Haight Ashbury. He made it back in 3 hours!</p>
<p>He didn’t wash his underwear for three weeks. The first day he was here, I showed him how to operate my washer and dryer and told him to use it whenever he wanted. But, nooooooo…I did not see any French dude underpants hanging over the shower rod. It’s a known scientific fact that mothers have underwear radar, and I’m telling you that there were no French fartknockers laundered in this house!</p>
<p>During the follow-up phone call with the program director, I asked why they sent me a 22-year old alcoholic bigot instead of a nice 15-year old high school girl like my neighbors got. He said that it was because college students could apply for the program and yadda, yadda about the 22-year old age limit. This was a program implemented through our public high school, so I asked why they sent me somebody who enjoyed rioting in the streets when he wasn’t in class at the Sorbonne. Besides, when they twisted my arm to take a “boy,” SluggyD got her hopes up for an 18-year old version of Johnny Depp, and I started picturing my adorable French grandchildren who would ask their “Ma-ma” to read bedtime stories of Babar and Madeline.</p>
<p>I felt sorry for the mom who got stuck with conning parents this year, so I spared her the horror story of our previous foreign exchange student and told her that we’d be on vacation in Chicago, even before she was able tell me what the program dates were. I don’t think she made the connection, though, because of the Vike. Her clothing could have been set on fire, and I don’t think she would have cared much one way or the other. I wonder if the evil PTA moms in charge of rounding up these parent volunteers check to see whose kids are due for wisdom teeth extractions each summer. :p</p>
<p>The shortest distance between two people is laughter.</p>
<p>Slugg and Cheers—your stories are too funny. And–slugg; your french dude was probably going “commando”—there were no undies to be washed, anyway. Ewwwww!!!</p>
<p>Those SFSs have to be manipulators–otherwise they’d be left for dead.</p>
<p>Thank God I got two nice kids for my strangers in the night! I’d have put them on the street if they were rude. I’m really not good in those situations. I have driven several rude Gappers to the hostel.</p>
<p>So far…I’ve gotten a beautiful bottle of champagne, a beautifully prepared dinner with homemade French tart and a lovely seafood ladies lunch. Believe me, the SFS’s parents are trying to buy their way out of this debt, but I am not having it! I’ve told them that if my son gets a tummy ache this summer, she has to go look after him (she’s a GP and she did that once for me when he was at camp when he was 11). </p>
<p>Whaddya know–son has a tummy ache!</p>