<p>Fashion show update. Fitting tonight at the NikeWoman store.</p>
<p>Apparently it’s NOT a tennis dress and they (the regular moms who organize these things vs. the dark evil creature moms like me who ridicule them) think I “will like it”. </p>
<p>Who am I to dispell their dreams:). I will report back to the Alley in full technicolor. Perhaps I will match APhysicsmom’s eyes…I am trying to get Aluson to come with me on the grounds that “it will be fun”. He’s not buying it. Now I am throwing in a dinner out. We will see if bribery works where exaggerated enthusiasm has failed…</p>
<p>good luck, alumother. We DO expect a full report tonight. From personal experience, if the bribery doesn’t work, skip the worthless steps and go straight to dire threats. </p>
<p>For the two of us to match, your outft will now need to be a very deep purple hue, with matching trim of a baby-poo yellowy brown accent…</p>
<p>Hey it’s the Alley. Anyone want to wear high heels, we’re on board. In fact we have a full drag closet in the back. After all, I’m going to be Dame Edna in a fashion show and I’m a biological female.</p>
<p>I am just trying to figure out what the cocktail ought to be in honor of Aphysicsmom’s eye rainbow…</p>
<p>Blackberry cordial, orange juice, and, um, tequila? Jmmom, SBmom, we need your help.</p>
<p>How about a Godiva Chocolate Martini? MichaelNKat gave out an awesome recipe awhile ago.</p>
<p>I’ve got an awesome pair of what my sisters and I like to call “Hooker Pumps” for the occasion. “Nina’s”, Black, satin, pointy toe, 3 inch heeled slingbacks. They show a little bit of toe cleevage, (more than two is excessive don’t ya think) and have a cool little pleated swath of satin across the ball of the foot. Very hot.</p>
<p>Except the shoes are black with pink laces. And the pants have a pink embroidered area on the right knee. Remember the paper bag pants we wore in the '80s? This is my punishment for saying I didn’t want golf or tennis. </p>
<p>Fore anyone? </p>
<p>I just keep telling myself it doesn’t look as bad on me as it does online. On the other hand, there is something so innately ridiculous about a woman who will be 51 a week after this event occurs sauntering down a catwalk wearing hip hop dance pants and a hot pink shirt as Ready to Rumble plays on the very loud sound system that I cannot salvage my dignity no matter what I tell myself:).</p>
<p>Luckily Aluson will be walking next to me. He is hoping he is wearing boxing gear…Who needs dignity when your teenage son has to do something like this with you? And when 12 months from now I am sure I will be bewailing his lack of phone calls.</p>
<p>And don’t blame me if you are laughing so hard you have spit your Merlot into your keyboard…</p>
<p>I wanna know what those pink tab things are, sticking out of the rear pockets on the pants.</p>
<p>No beverages other than water available here in the B&B, but I could spit some of that onto the keyboard if that would keep me in step with everyone else?</p>
<p>Well, it IS better than the outfit jmmom found for you. My 16-yr-old D2 would love those pants (but I’d never spend $75 for dance pants for her—hers have all come from Walmart or Kohls!!!) I wait and spend ridiculous amounts of money for rhinestone or sequined studded little hussy clothes for the annual dance show, which she’ll wear once.</p>
<p>Let’s just say I’m WAY glad it’s you and not me, alumom…When is the actual event? We’ll start a countdown for you. In the meantime, you’ll want to watch past video of pro-basketball “dance teams” to give you some moves to go along with that outfit and the song selection!!! Just make sure you shake your hair, pelvis, and boobs a lot as you strut down the runway!!!</p>
<p>I, however, do not plan to shake anything. I already told them I will be wearing a sports bra so as to smush what small amounts of mobile flesh I have into stunned stillness.</p>
<p>Pink tabs? I do not remember any pink tabs. On the other hand, I wasn’t trying to look at this from all angles. The front was really sufficient.</p>
<p>OK cheers, come clean to us. Why on earth did you know this youtube flick was out there and how could you come up with the link to it so quickly, hmmmm? What else are you hiding from us?</p>
<p>That said… Goodness gracious! (and the sportsbra is a good plan, alumother!!!)</p>
<p>Mootmom, not in our case…our wedding day was a typical Midwestern November day with sunshine, rain, and sleet all within a few hours. Despite a rainy wedding day and years of “practice”, we still ended up with an only. My husband visited his 90+ year old aunt last week, who asked him to remind her of how many kids we had. When he replied, “One…”, she answered, “Oh, your mom would have been so disappointed (my husband’s mother died when he was 5)”! Sure glad he didn’t know this when we were younger…!</p>
<p>Alu, I don’t think “sauntering” down the runway is an option. Based on my vast experience with modeling (I’ve seen a few episodes of America’s Next Top Model ), I think you have to strut or stomp or whatever that runway walk is supposed to be…and then of course, pose at the end of the runway. You do run the risk of being abandoned by your son halfway down the runway if you do, but what’s life without a little risk?</p>
</p>
), I think you have to strut or stomp or whatever that runway walk is supposed to be…and then of course, pose at the end of the runway. You do run the risk of being abandoned by your son halfway down the runway if you do, but what’s life without a little risk?</p>