<p>Ok, I took the quiz and apparently I am a Zen Mom which sounds pretty good to me:
Are You a Slacker Mom?
Take the Quiz
Your quiz score makes you: Zen Mom
How do you do it? Even when explosions are all around, you are able to take a deep cleansing breath and chant your mantra “this too shall pass.” You are a calming influence on your kids in a hectic world.
<a href=“http://www.areyouaslackermom.com%5B/url%5D”>http://www.areyouaslackermom.com</a></p>
<p>I took the quiz too.</p>
<p>"Your quiz score makes you: Smarty Pants Mom
Smart parents like you have smart kids. They need plenty of intellectual stimulation and you provide them with all they need, plus lots of love. You know how to help them with algebra homework, and you are superior at kissing boo-boos. "</p>
<p>This is so not me.</p>
<p>I’m a Smarty Pants Mom, too. But I think it fits. I’d like to know where on the continuum that lies.</p>
<p>I’m also a Smarty Pants Mom.</p>
<p>The quiz questions are rather interesting, much more about the individual woman - age, education, TV watching habits, professional status, etc. - than it is about how the mother interacts with her kids.</p>
<p>If I were putting such a quiz together, I think I’d take a different approach.</p>
<p>I don’t really understand the point of the article. The kind of “slacking” they’re talking about – forgetting permission slips and soccer snacks – is just plain irresponsible. It makes more work for other people. I see no point in singing the praises of such an approach.</p>
<p>Marian, I don’t think you need to take the quiz! ;)</p>
<p>I agree that forgetting things is frustrating to others. And most of us who have ever forgotten something do not do it because we are careless or plain unconcerned. It usually comes from overload. I overload easier than many folks. I go to bed early, and spend a lot of my morning time organizing my day and making lists. I try very hard. But sometimes something slips through. I know I’ve been called irresponsible by some. Or lazy. Or messy. Or ADD. Or blond. (However, that one, at least, is true.) </p>
<p>On the other hand, I overload often because I have trouble saying no. I like to help, and have a dozen irons in the fire. Ironically, what makes some people think of me as irresponsible makes others think of me as dependable. Funny.</p>
<p>My personal pet peeve is people who are never on time. I’m not thinking 10 mintues either way. I’m thinking of people who always play the “last to arrive wins” game. But I keep my mouth shut, because sometimes I’m the “winner.”</p>
<p>I don’t like the Slackers who are fighting back to justify laziness. But I do think it’s a good thing to be reminded that there are disadvantages to being Stepford moms. Takes some of the guilt off for those of us who fail at something atleast annually. ;)</p>
<p>Another Smarty Pants mom here, but my ability to help the kids with their homework ended several years ago. I think at this stage in my life, the Zen mom sounds more appealing. :)</p>
<p>Welcome to CC OaksMom!!!</p>
<p>I haven’t taken the test yet, but I have one observation. We all spend a lot of time on Parent Cafe (mainly as a lurker for me) because it is such fun to read everyone’s opinions and see what everyone is up to. So by defeniton, we are slacking off (instead of dusting the house, organizing our piles of papers and mail, finding permission lists, picking up the dry-cleaning, making photo albums, etc.) A true Alpha Mom would not spend time on the Parent Cafe! :)</p>
<p>Oh, and glad to have you, CC OaksMom!</p>
<p>But I use CC as my excuse. See, it lets me hang out with “friends” and avoid all kinds of other work so that I can “help my D get a college education.” </p>
<p>Perhaps the real difference between Slacker and Alpha is how good they are about coming up with justifications for their behavior?</p>
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<p>I think you’ve hit the nail on the head.</p>
<p>Alpha Moms are defined as such by themselves, not by others – unlike Alpha Males…</p>
<p>I took the quiz and got Female???</p>
<p>NJmother - you have to have the results sent to your email address. I was glad to see that I came up female too, though. :)</p>
<p>LOL, ^^^kudos to the metacognitive observation that reading CC is, by definition, slacking…
and more kudos to the one who figured out that it’s the same justification as the Alphamoms.
We’re all just “doing it for our kids” (not)</p>
<p>So nobody’s really better than anybody else.</p>
<p>My mind moves to a memory of a letter, long ago, from a young mom (not me), “I’m home watching Sesame Street while my kids tear up the house.”</p>
<p>I’m a Smarty Pants Mom, and proud of it. As the quiz engine says, Arnold was pregnant in 1994…</p>
<p>I am also somewhere between the two. I have definitely had plenty of moments within each group depending on the circumstances, what’s going on that particular day, week(year, LOL) etc. Whether or not someone falls into one “category” or the other, however, I really think it is unfortunate that we women are so prone to judging one another. Nobody has a magic looking glass into the lives, challenges, and circumstances of others and sometimes there’s also too much of a tendency to judge those who don’t do things the same way we do. </p>
<p>I do admit to being a stickler for all things that have to do with supervision and safety and I will own up to feeling that there are far too many slacker moms (and dads) in that regard. But otherwise, there are people who run loose ships and some who are much more structured - kids can do fine either way as long as there is love and consistency. So much depends on the personalities of the kids involved too. A “slacker” mom may know that they have a very capable and independent teenager at home - an alpha mom may be that way because structure and routine are the <em>only</em> way a particular household won’t self- destruct!</p>
<p>MOTHERS </p>
<p>This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up vomit laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, “It’s okay honey, Mommy’s here.” Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can’t be comforted.</p>
<p>This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse. </p>
<p>For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON’T.</p>
<p>This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they’ll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes. </p>
<p>This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.</p>
<p>And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars, so that when their kids asked, “Did you see me, Mom?” they could say, “Of course, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world,” and mean it. </p>
<p>This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens. </p>
<p>This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the mothers who wanted to, but just couldn’t find the words.</p>
<p>This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat. For all the mothers who read “Goodnight, Moon” twice a night for a year. </p>
<p>And then read it again. “Just one more time.” </p>
<p>This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.</p>
<p>This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot. </p>
<p>This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls “Mom?” in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home – or even away at college.</p>
<p>This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches assuring them they’d be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away. </p>
<p>This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can’t find the words to reach them.</p>
<p>This is for all the step-mothers who raised another woman’s child or children, and gave their time, attention, and love… sometimes totally unappreciated! </p>
<p>For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green.</p>
<p>For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting. For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.</p>
<p>This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war. </p>
<p>What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips?
The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time? Or is it in her heart? </p>
<p>Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time? </p>
<p>The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby? </p>
<p>The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home? </p>
<p>Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying? </p>
<p>The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation…
And mature mothers learning to let go.
For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.
Single mothers and married mothers.
Mothers with money, mothers without.
This is for you all.
For all of us.
Hang in there.
In the end we can only do the best we can.
Tell them every day that we love them.
And pray. </p>
<p>“Home is what catches you when you fall - and we all fall.”
Please pass this to a wonderful mother you know.</p>
<p>(I received this from a dear friend today and wanted to pass it on to the terrific moms on CC)</p>
<p>Awwwwwww, corona!!! <strong>SNIFFLE</strong> THANKS for sharing this! :)</p>
<p>OK- probably going to get flamed here, and I DONT mean this to be directed at anyone personally, but there is a difference between a “slacker” mom and an “scattered, irresponsible, disorganized” mom. Laid back is one thing, but dropping the ball constantly, especially when it affects other people, is just inconsiderate, IMO. There is a very nice, sweet mom in our neighborhood, but she was an absolute NITEMARE to carpool with. Always late when it was her turn to drive, her kids were never ready when they were picked up, etc. etc. To add to it, her kids were difficult and often caused problems in the carpool, but she would blow it off and not do anything. She was constantly asking people to swap days or cover for her when it was her turn to drive, with the excuse du jour. Needless to say, most everybody quit carpoolong with her. If you made plans to do anything with her, you would have to tell her to be ready 15-20’ earlier than she really need to be, so that you could build in her tardiness. In my book, this is unacceptable. </p>
<p>Down here it gets HOT. If a mom on one of the kids sports teams “forgot” that it was her turn to handle snacks, and didn’t bring food or drink, this was a problem for all the kids on the team. In the rare case that this happened, the mom would be expected to run out and get something (at least the water), order a pizza to be delivered to the field or call someone to bring beverages. There is a BIG difference between the ocasional oversight and someone who you just can’t count on. ADHD kids do become ADHD parents… OK, flame away, if you must, but I am not ashamed to be responsible in both my work and home environments. I guess I am an alpha mom and proud of it.</p>
<p>jym626, ITA. Those are clearly in the category of safety and supervision, IMO and I think most of us would be right there with you. On the other hand, this article also includes the parents who are “overly controlling and anxious” (I read this as being helicopterish - whatever that means for a given age group) , who bring a “corporate mentality to child rearing” - the types who will stay up all night assembling “handmade Valentine’s cards” for one year olds or will make make sure that their kid has a Native American village project worthy of the Smithsonian (I know I’ve told <em>that</em> story on CC before!), or alternatively the one who chairs every committee at the kids’ school, has her own company and still has time to cater a dinner for 75 that night - THAT type of alpha mom!! </p>
<p>On the other hand, I would not allow a seven year old go off alone on a bike (another example from the article) in today’s day and age and would never forget a snack or a commitment, and I’m obviously (as are all of us) the type to do “online research” so yes, Alpha to all of that! :)</p>
<p>This is NOT an absolute statement, but I have a <em>general</em> experience of the moms around me that it is much easier to be Alpha if you are the stay at home mother of only one child. Many of us have commented that we became less Alpha with each successive child, simply because the hours in a day did not increase! </p>
<p>If I put my mind to it, I could probably come up with a mom of 3 who worked full time and still managed to be Alpha, but none comes to mind off hand. My sister in law who works part time and has two kids is trying, though!</p>