<p>
</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2007-05-08-alpha-beta-moms_N.htm[/url]”>http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2007-05-08-alpha-beta-moms_N.htm</a></p>
<p>I’m somewhere in between the extremes, but I do think I was more of an Alpha mom with my first born. My younger son is more laid back and easy going than his older brother. I wonder just how much my parenting shaped their personalities, and how much of their behavior is just their natural inclinations.</p>
<p>
Hmmmmmm, wonder what they call it when she <em>NEVER</em> remembers, and she’s constantly emailing the teacher for an extra copy of the spelling list or another book report form–not that I’d know <em>anything</em> about that??? 
;)</p>
<p>haha, berurah, mom of six, I bow to you! Being one of five, I learned at an early age that my parents were never going to sweat the small stuff. They didn’t have time!</p>
<p>
Right…or the remaining brain cells. You <em>KNOW</em> how many are obliterated by pregnancy, right?? ;)</p>
<p>And besides, you know what they say…it’s <em>all</em> small stuff… :D</p>
<p>I love this line:
</p>
<p>I definitely fall in between. Obviously, I am one who surfs the web to help my kids. And if you are reading this, you are, too! 
I do my best to get my kid’s sick day excuses written within the same week that they were sick, for example. But my kids have gotten their share of demerits for things I’ve fogotten to do.</p>
<p>There are definitely categories where I am probably over-involved, and others where I am not involved enough. I suspect that makes me pretty normal. I’ve been around long enough to be comfortable with my way of doing things, without feeling the need to make anybody else do it my way. Considering that each of us defines “perfect parenting” differently, it’s kinda amazing how many kids turn out so well, huh?</p>
<p>Coronax2 said:
</p>
<p>There’s the understatement of the year!!! (For me at least.) 
Hey! But I still managed, how many years?, of Suzuki every night with #2…</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>quilty…:o :D</p>
<p>^ Of course, whether they think we’re “helping” or not is open to debate… ;)</p>
<p>I fall in between, too. </p>
<p>I sometimes have to squash my competitive nature to focus on my desire for them to grow up as independent young adults who live happy lives that they’ve created for themselves.</p>
<p>I’m still learning. :)</p>
<p>Does anyone else get nauseous reading some of the threads on CC., i.e. the kids taking 20 AP exams, or with 30 extra curriculars?.. In kindergarten, the teacher asked what we wanted the child to get out of school. My response then was “I want him to like learning, and I want him to like school”.<br>
I’d still say the same thing.
I guess that makes me a semi-slacker mom.</p>
<p>So, read this thread early this morning, then had to walk into middle school office to sign permission slip for trip to six flags/marine world (I think that’s what I signed!) – because, of course, lost the first one . . .</p>
<p>So I think I’m a <em>wanna be alpha mom</em>. Just can’t seem to get it together, ever! I know the younger moms get a little annoyed with me. (Can’t that woman ever remember anything???) The older ones, well, we all seem to be in the same boat!</p>
<p>I feel like I fall somewhere between June Cleaver and Roseanne on the mom scale. Although I think son #1 saw a little more June and son #2 saw a little more Roseanne. I’m sure they’ll bond over the “our crazy mom” stories when they grow up. I’ve given them more than a few. ;)</p>
<p>Ha ha, I like that. Let’s see, is today a <em>June</em> day or a <em>Roseanne day</em>?</p>
<p>Helloooo…my virgin post…tee hee…I’ve found this website and have been fascinated reading the discussions and yes, Karen Colleges the intensity of some of these teens/parents/schools is dismaying/frightening/mind-boggling! My eldest is two years from HS graduation and has some specific desires in her quest for the college of her dreams…I am trying to find some viable choices (20-30) and let her whittle it down from there…of course she has no time to do it herself in between school, drivers ed, EC’s, church etc… that’s where I come in. Look forward to more conversation!</p>
<p>The author might be helpful in urging so-called alpha moms that it’s OK to step back and cool it a bit, but in comparing two extremes it seems she’s trying to trying create more drama and competition than actually exists. Everyone has their own way of parenting. The slacker mom in the article seemed a bit smug, I thought.</p>
<p>Welcome OaksMom! You’ve arrived at the right time. CC was the best thing that ever happened for us with regards to learning how complex the college application process is! There is lots of wise counsel available on this site. I recommend you ask lots of questions, and save information on your computer for future reference.</p>
<p>Oaks Mom, welcome to the board. It’s a wonderful resource. It’s also sometimes a bit of a zoo but you’ll get used to it…mind, don’t step in the elephant droppings. </p>
<p>I have a generalized principle: help your children realize some close approximation of their potential. If you accept this thesis, then it follows that different children will have different requirements, though some will feel it impolitic to say or admit it. We have only the one, so some problems and joys were not dealt to us. </p>
<p>Suffice to say, that ours demanded a fair amount of alpha parenting if we were to keep up our end of the implied bargain; had our D been switched with some others of our acquaintance, there probably would have been different roads taken.</p>
<p>My thinking on this crystallized as a result of a thread just a little while back, a thread where there was an implicit argument between the parents in the “kids will thrive at any number of colleges” camp and those of the “fit is important, it really can make a difference.” I suspect that both are often true, depending on the child in question…mine is undoubtedly one of the latter.</p>
<p>Oaks Mom, one aspect of the alpha or quasi-alpha parent for a child as busy as yours (or mine) was that some degree of project management in the search application process is a reasonable response to their schedule. Parent gathers and distills data, student reads, evaluates, and makes decisions is not a bad model imo.</p>
<p>Erma Bombeck had a column once about “The Perfect Mom.” Erma grew up down the street from someone who was called “Perfect Mom” all over town: her husband, the teachers, her gyn all called her Perfect. She baked all kinds of meals with excellence on pots that sparkled. She won a prize for her home-baked cookies. Even her own children called her “Perfect Mom”<br>
But the children were never home; they hung out at Erma’s house because HER mom ate Oreo cookies out of the bag.</p>
<p>Her husband, teachers, and… gynecologist(?!) called her perfect? Am sure there’s a joke lurking there, I just don’t have the nerve. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>I am definitely NOT a slacker mom - the term to me implies a mom that doesn’t care - maybe I’m missing something in the definition and fitting it to moms I know that I would define as slackers!
I’m also NOT an Alpha mom - and I know a lot of those too - they push their kids to early stress and burnout.
I’m more of a cheerleader mom - I just support my kids and help them become the best they can be - I’m the “you can do it” “you’re wonderful” “how can I help” voice. And of course the voice of discipline when I have to be (which is my biggest issue with slacker moms!!)</p>