Smart Little Kid

JustaMom · May 31, 2007, 1:34pm

WendyMouse I didn’t read all the posts, so bear with me if some is repetitive.

My D was classified “intellectually gifted”; reading at 3, aloud, to family, friends and dolls, complete with varying voice inflections and accents (for each character, of course), reading maps and navigating as we drove from So Cal to Vancouver, Canada (she was 4), and more. In addition, she was a very sweet kid, and had a sense of humor too boot. Once school time came the public school was no help. Wouldn’t put her in any accelerated classes until she was in 4th grade (waaaay too late as far as I was concerned). Finally got the school to test her and she was given more “appropriate” work (stuff to keep HER occupied). “GATE” pull out classes were a joke. It was the special assignments and the special teachers who saw her talents that made the difference.

Looking back I’m sorry I didn’t make the effort to try private school for her. I didn’t have the resources, but that shouldn’t have stopped me. She was bored all the way through hs. But never got into trouble. As a parent I tried to get teachers invested in her, and that mostly worked. D settled for Bs in school, and hardly cracked a book for that. She would have been amazing if she’d actually “studied” but she couldn’t be bothered. It was all a bore. College academics (at an LAC) have been amazing for her. She’s soaking things up and loves the classes (hates the locale though…bummer). Carried 20 units in her 2nd semester, easily, and with plenty of down time. Her college grades are higher than hs.

I would say that your cousin’s family should seriously look into Montessori or another open educational program. Something that nurtures the whole child and allows him to be guided along his natural curiosity and path at all levels.

I sure wish I had.

tokenadult · June 1, 2007, 4:21pm

The parents should probably go through the paperwork of applying to the Davidson Young Scholar program

<a href=“Davidson Institute | Programs & Support for the Profoundly Gifted”>Davidson Institute | Programs & Support for the Profoundly Gifted;

in that case. One burst of effort on the application could lead to more than a decade of helpful services, and a lot of camaraderie with similarly situated parents.

calmom · June 1, 2007, 9:00pm

WendyMouse, early reading can be a sign of giftedness, but there is not a direct association between reading ability and IQ level. My d. was an early reader, and from what I could find at the time, most early-reading kids follow a pattern somewhat like my daughter and your cousin – they have a very strong visual memory for words, an intense interest in books and printed words, and end up learning by acquiring a large sight word vocabulary that lets them pretty much guess (and then memorize) new words from context. So they can seem very, very bright. (And my d’s IQ was tested privately, at age 6 - she had a WISC full scale of 140, so she fits in the “highly gifted” range).

But the reading by itself doesn’t tell the whole story. My son is dyslexic, and at age 10 he could barely stumble his way through The Cat and the Hat. But (with help) he picked up on reading at about age 11 and at age 13 he was reading far more complex and heady stuff than his sister later read at the same age. I mean – he was reading Dostoevsky for pleasure at the same age when she liked Harry Potter. Many dyslexic kids and adults are exceptionally intelligent, and a retrospective study of extraordinarily successful dyslexic adults (Nobel prize winners, etc.) showed that just about all of them became competent readers at around age 11 or 12, usually motivated by intense curiosity about a particular subject.

I think in hindsight a good sign in understanding my daughter was that she did not test particularly well in math when we had the assessments done at age 6. (She tested about 1 year above grade level for math, where she was off the charts, +5 or more levels, with reading/verbal skills). It’s not so much that this gave us good reason to hesitate about acceleration, as that (in hindsight), it gives a strong indication of her learning style and pattern, since mathematical ability tells a lot about the acquisition of certain levels of conceptual understanding and the ability to think abstractly. My favorite illustration of the point is when my d. was about age 9 and asked me this question: “I know that America bought Alaska from Russia, but I can’t figure this out – how did they ever manage to move that huge piece of land across the ocean?” Questions like these told me that although my daughter was far advanced in her ability to read and acquire knowledge… she still needed time before she would be ready to understand and fully integrate all that she could read.

It probably would be a good idea for your aunt & uncle to arrange private testing for their son, outside of the school system. I waited until my daughter turned 6 because there was a shift in the IQ test typically used - I wanted her tested with the instrument commonly used for elementary school aged children. I did not want to prove she was “gifted” – I just wanted a good picture as to how her mind worked. Also – I selected a local, well qualified educational psychologist who was not a gifted child specialist or advocate – my personal experience over the years has been that some of the people involved with gifted education lean too far toward focusing on development of the mind without full consideration of interpersonal and social skills.

I was an accelerated child myself, and I spent too many years feeling shunned and out-of-place among much more sophisticated and physically developed peers to wish the same on my daughter – that’s why I signed her up for gymnastics and ballet instead of worrying about advanced academics. It’s not just things like how big your nephew is – if he is the tallest kid on the playground but can’t catch a ball because his motor skills aren’t there, he may soon be the butt of everyone’s jokes. I would never favor holding a kid back solely because of reasons of social fit or emotional maturity, but those factors are a very important part of the equation. My daughter was able to do some wonderful things in high school – such as spending a semester abroad – partly because she had a lot in the way of maturity and social competence and confidence that I lacked when I was in the same grades but a year or two younger.

baymom · June 2, 2007, 12:19am

I have a nephew very similar to many of the children described. Reading at 2 (with extremely good comprehension and retention of information), spelling outrageously long words, memorizing all the state capitals, state mottos, birds and flowers, multiplying 3 digit numbers in his head by 3, by 4 understanding square roots, cube roots, percentages, fractions, navigating maps, speaking passable Spanish. Now 5 years old, he is young in his class and small but enjoyed 4 and 5 year old kindergarten tremendously. He goes to a small Catholic school that has a Learning Resource Center where he went for an hour everyday to practice his fine motor skills (he struggled with writing) and enrichment (listening to classical music and studying composers, learning Spanish, using the computer to build a website and compose stories (he loves the computer). He’s a sweet and quirky kid (knows everyone’s birthdates, license plates and addresses) and he’s somewhat of a celebrity at school. Kids don’t tease him, but embrace his uniqueness. The first grade teacher already has books picked out for him for this coming year and is working with the middle school teachers to have a good math program for him that he can work on within his regular classroom. So my suggestion - look for a small school with teachers who can give him personal attention within his own classroom.

WaterDaughter · June 2, 2007, 12:53pm

Hi there,

Just remember - there’s more to developing than academics …

My parents raised two gifted children. They were professional educators who had taught on every level from two-room schoolhouse to university. They were also intellectually curious people who never stopped actively learning new things. [I still remember Mom’s “All About Gothic Cathedrals” campaign.] So our house was full of books and puzzles and art and music and technology - not because these were “educational”, but because this is what they liked. We visited a museum or gallery or zoo or park or attended a concert or drama at least twice a month - again, not because these visits were “educational”, but because my folks thought that they were fun. [They were.]

I ended up doing very well in school, and quite well professionally. My sister, who is brighter than I am, had medical issues as a teen and didn’t do as well as I did in school, though she too is quite successful professionally.

We are both happily married, with children of our own. Which brings me to the most important things that my parents taught me:

<ol>
<li>Being smart isn’t everything. There’s a lot more to life. One of my most enduring memories of Mom is of her yelling at me up the stairs: “I know what you’re doing up there! You’ve got your nose stuck in another book! Now come downstairs, go out and play, or give a friend a call!” Sounds weird, but for me it was good advice.</li>
<li>Learn to laugh at yourself. [If you’re like most folks, there will be plenty of material.] It makes your life so much more pleasant.</li>
</ol>

Have a nice day (and a giggle or two!)

people · June 2, 2007, 3:19pm

I especially agree with the Montessori suggestion and making sure he finds a niche to thrive socially. I feel like to did almost everything wrong with my son (now 23). He, too, was very large (he’s now 6’5"). He used to drive teachers batty, at least those trying to conform him into a sit-still-and-keep-eye-contact sort of student. He was listening to everything the teacher said, but also observing the fly on the window, figuring out how the overhead projector worked, etc. In talking with him about it now, he remembers being bored stiff in class, hating school, and very much resented being called out constantly by teachers accusing him of not paying attention. I very much regret not finding another way for him. Unless a child is socially ahead of their age, I really don’t think jumping them into a higher grade helps. If he’s that gifted, one grade level still won’t challenge him much, at least not for long.

Allmusic · June 2, 2007, 4:43pm

I love Montessori education, and yes, kids can work more at their own pace, but there will still be a tremendous shortage of academic peers. So, a child is not necessarily stifled and bored, but does not have that much challenge to his thinking either.

There is just no perfect situation, and I think WaterDaughter summed it up best. Being smart is only one component of life, and clearly not the most important. Having fun, friends, getting along with people, laughing etc. are seriously as much, or more important that reading five years above grade level.

Smart Little Kid

CONNECT WITH US