<p>I know there are movies and jokes mocking this issue of ugly bridesmaids’ dresses, and I really kind of thought of them as a joke. My daughter got married a few weeks ago and she was very easy going about her bridesmaids’ dresses - she picked the color and type of fabric and let her bridesmaids’ pick their own styles. Her wedding was on the beach and she wanted soft and flowy. The 2 girls had different styles but it all coordinated and was pretty and the girls had dresses they really liked. Then last week she was in a wedding. The bride’s dress was beautiful - really graceful and elegant. The bridesmaids’ dresses were really quite hideous, very unflattering on both the slim girls and the larger girls and, to be brutally honest, quite tacky looking. I was kind of baffled as to why the bride would dress the girls like that in her wedding. (My daughter is pretty easy going and was willing to wear what the bride wanted, but she did flat out refuse to wear the 3rd of the big pouffy petticoats that was supposed to go under the dress - it was plenty pouffy with just the 2 - and when asked how pouffy she wanted her dress she had said “not pouffy at all”).</p>
<p>Maybe it just comes down to individual taste, but the bride’s dress was very elegant.</p>
<p>To be frank, from years of watching bridal shows on “junk TV” as my mom calls it, sometimes it is because the bride refuses to let any of her friends look better than her. Especially if any of her friends are attractive (which, of course, every woman has something beautiful about them!)</p>
<p>I plan on doing what your daughter did–give them a color swatch and let them go to town. They know what looks best on them.</p>
<p>Maybe the bridesmaid’s dresses supposed to look ugly so as not to outshine the bride and/or not to make the groom look down the receiving line and wonder whether he just made a big mistake.</p>
<p>My niece, who gets on every one of my nerves twice, had the best bridesmaids’ attire I’ve ever seen. Completely simple creamish, iridescentish dresses with utterly spectacular flowers and bangin’ Jimmy Choo shoes. It was a fabulous look. The dresses were along the lines of just a simple summer sundress but the whole effect was quite wonderful. The bride’s dress, on the other hand, was a total been there/done that matter.</p>
<p>I’m another who thinks it’s so they don’t outshine the bride. Lately, I’ve noticed more diverse dresses rather than uniform. </p>
<p>I’m another in the camp of giving colors and letting them go. Then again, my maid of honor is going to be a man so uniform dresses wouldn’t make much sense lol.</p>
<p>When I was married in the 80s, the bridesmaids dresses were typically flamable (ie polyester) or over the top frilly. I found linen sheaths with spaghetti straps and boleros (the latter for the ceremony) that were simple & elegant. What I liked is that they could be easily shorted for a nice summer dress, which is what a few of them did.</p>
<p>I only had a matron of honor. I sent her a picture of my dress, told her what flowers I’d be carrying and told her to wear what she liked. She wore a pale yellow linen tea dress which was very pretty. Another friend of mine picked out a Laura Ashley floral fabric and let the bridesmaids make what they liked out of the material. My sister-in-law made us outfits out of a dusty rose brocade cotton. The skirt and top were separate. The top never looked very good on me, but it was inoffensive. I loved the skirt - it looked great with Victorian blouses which were in fashion at the time.</p>
<p>Give that were all married in the mid 1980s I think we did pretty well on the fashion front. I don’t look at any of those photos and wonder what we were thinking!</p>
<p>My d was just in a wedding were all the bridesmaids (6 of them) were told to wear a floral sundress of their choosing. It turned out very pretty. They were all different but none of them clashed. Perfect for a casual outdoor wedding.</p>
<p>We went wedding dress shopping for my sister last weekend. I am the maid of honor, and I was there along with one of her bridesmaids. While at the shop, the bridesmaid pointed at a bridesmaid dress and said, “ooh, that’s so pretty!!!” and I might have literally gagged. I can’t imagine any body type it would have been flattering on, and the style was something that nobody over 16 should wear. People have insanely different tastes. </p>
<p>Being that I am the maid of honor and the sister, the plan is supposedly that I will go dress shopping with the bride first and we’ll find something that I like and then coordinate the other maids around what we pick together. If that bridesmaid had been the MOH instead, which nearly happened, I think I’d have fainted. Knowing my sister’s tastes, I might faint anyway.</p>
I guess if the bride’s dress had been similarly hideous, I would have been less surprised by the bridesmaids’ dresses. But her dress was sleek and elegant - really beautiful. The bridesmaids’ dresses were about as much of a contrast as they could possibly be. And really, really unflattering on all the girls.</p>
<p>What about this? I sometimes watch “Say Yes To The Dress: Bridesmaids” and it always drives me CRAZY when one bridesmaid picks out a $500 dress when one of the other bridesmaids has made it clear she needs a lower-budget dress. So awkward, passive-aggressive and unnecessary. Another reason I’ll let each girl pick her dress: she can pick one that’s within what she can comfortably spend.</p>
<p>Usually the worst ones are the ones where a family member like a sister is the bridesmaid. Yes, I have watched that show - it is kind of a secret vice to enjoy watching how awful some of those girls can be. Made me *really *appreciative of my daughter’s bridesmaids!</p>
<p>After watching say yes to the dress, I was quite worried about going dress shopping with my daughter - didn’t want to be one of the horrid Moms or say the wrong thing. It turned out to be really a fun day in the end - we had a great girl helping us and that really did make all the difference.</p>
<p>I think that’s a feature of the show–the stores on SYTTD always have the priciest options available, it seems. But I would never expect a friend to spend more than $100-$200 on a dress she’s presumably only going to wear once.</p>
<p>At the wedding we attended recently, the bride wore cream and the bridesmaids wore short, navy blue chiffon dresses in the style of their choice. The navy was a bit dark for my taste, but it was a lovely, lovely wedding. I do like the idea of the bridesmaids picking their own dress style. </p>
<p>A few years ago, I saw a wedding where the bridesmaids wore the same style dress, but they were in the seven rainbow colors. It was pretty and something I would have never thought of.</p>
<p>HGFM, this guy has been my best friend for years. Still is even though we see each other about once a year due to where we go to college. </p>
<p>swim- that makes me happy. I’ve never been to a wedding with a mix-gender bride or groom party so I’m not sure how it’s going to work. Not that worried though. </p>
<p>And after hearing about the 250k weddings, $500 doesn’t seem that odd to me anymore. I would say “no thank you” to the offer to be a bridesmaid if they expected me to buy something that expensive. </p>
<p>I wonder if the bride picks something that she thinks would look good on her and expects it to look good on everyone else? I really don’t know.</p>