So constrained by SE Michigan... How to get out??!

Parents Forum
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<p>Hi there, </p>

<p>As my title indicates, I live in SE Michigan, and I’m starting to become utterly sick and tired of this area. I seriously live and operate within a 30 mile radius. My university is 30 miles southwest, my family’s farm is 8 miles south, my relatives are either 15 miles southwest, 15 miles southeast or 15 miles northeast, and I just feel like I’m stuck in this region FOREVER. </p>

<p>I live in a rural town, and growing up, we were never able to go anywhere since we couldn’t drive and we were out in the middle of nowhere. For the first 16 years of my life, I basically just hung around Small Farm Town USA, with my brother and I also going back and forth between our family’s farm, which is in A Bit Bigger Farm Town USA. After I got my license and my own truck, I’d take “big nights out” to the suburban area 20 miles away, but that was it. </p>

<p>In all sincerity, I feel like I shortchanged myself by going to the state u that was close and that offered me big merit scholarships. I’m admittedly not perfect here (have a 3.96 GPA that will probably go down this semester because I’m struggling with working the farm, feeling oppressed here and just plain old feeling sorry for myself), but I know that I have the potential to do better for myself, especially with the whole farming background. Everything else is easy in comparison, so if I could ever be sprung free from its chains, I know I’d be able to kick butt. </p>

<p>So, I know that I need to move on somehow. Transferring schools probably wouldn’t be too wise since I’m going for free and have saved money by living at home (I have a small nest egg of about 18k right now which no major expenses coming my way thus far), and I also really like some my professors and the feel of certain departments. I tried living at my u, but it didn’t work out. I moved back home because it was so much money for a small 8x10 room and because I just don’t know what’s what right now. </p>

<p>I also don’t really have a major. I’m a junior and have all my gen eds taken care of, but I don’t know where to go now. I’m thinking about continuing on with my foreign language (French), and I also like the writing and rhetoric classes that I’ve taken thus far. I know I can graduate on time for either the writing or French majors since I’ve been following those tracks already, but that’s all I’ve got going for me. </p>

<p>My brother is choosing the farm path and actually just got engaged, and the few cousins that I had who “got out” moved out-of-state and are highly successful engineers. However, they don’t really talk to us anymore. I have no one who can help me because everyone I know lives here in SE Michigan!! </p>

<p>I actually confided in one of my profs about all of this, and she felt bad and related to me since she grew up in the boon docks of West Virginia. She’s a French prof, and she “got out” by studying hard in her state undergrad u, getting her phd in French in Florida, teaching for a bit in Qu</p>

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<p>I grew up in that area, so clicked on your post right away – I get it. :slight_smile: I moved elsewhere after college and only go back occasionally to visit family. My advice is that if you want to get out, you need a major that will help you get a job someplace else. The majors you mentioned aren’t the most employable…you could go for a teaching certificate, but you will want to check the requirements wherever you plan to live after graduation (varies by state). I suppose there are other options to help you get out, like the military. But what you need to do is make a career plan and then get the degree you need to follow it. I would not transfer, but think hard about how to “spend” the remainder of your free undergraduate education. You can stay with the subjects you are strong in, but also consider areas where there tend to be more jobs – computer science or something IT related, business majors, economics, etc.</p>

<p>Have you spent any time with the Book of Majors published by the College Board? It gives a summary of tons of majors and the types of jobs you can possibly get with them. Your college career counseling office can help as well by helping you understand what types of internships and jobs are available for different majors. But you need to get on this right away, because as a junior you should be focused on your major classes. So I would spend some time this semester on it if possible (prior to registration for next semester).</p>

<p>I would also advise you to start a LinkedIn account, and start linking to various people you know who graduate ahead of you, people you might meet at campus events, professors in your eventual major fields, etc. Eventually one of these connections might help you land a job in whatever field you pursue. Even if it isn’t your first job, in five or ten years you will be happy you made and kept those connections. Just keep building up your connections slowly over time, it will pay off.</p>

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<p>IMHO, the best thing you can do to keep your options open is to study something you really love and do really well in it. </p>

<p>You will get a lot of people telling you that majoring in French and/or creative writing isn’t going to get you anywhere. If that is what you REALLY love, ignore them. It is particularly good that you are not racking up debt, but in fact putting some money away. This gives you more flexibility down the road.</p>

<p>One thing you could do right after undergraduate study to get out of SE Michigan is apply for a Fulbright: either one of those teaching English in another country, or a project involving your major(s). Your school may or may not have had any Fulbright scholars lately. There is usually someone at the school who coordinates it and helps guide students through the application process. I would advise you to look into it NOW, because identifying a project, getting good recs, writing excellent essays, putting together a compelling application will take time. It is better to be ahead of the game. </p>

<p>I know a recent grad who has taken a job teaching English in China, which is quite well paid. He did not study Chinese.</p>

<p>Another program for you to consider is run by the French government and places students, usually recent college grads, in schools in France for a school year as teaching assistants in English classes. Assistants receive a stipend, not large, but enough to live modestly. If you have a little cash in hand to supplement it, great. Look here:</p>

<p>[Teaching</a> Assistant Program in France | French Culture](<a href=“http://highereducation.frenchculture.org/teach-in-france]Teaching”>http://highereducation.frenchculture.org/teach-in-france)</p>

<p>My S majored in French as an undergrad and decided he wanted to be a writer. After spending a year in France on a fellowship through his college, he is now at the Columbia School of Journalism and loving it.</p>

<p>Yes, this is not as obvious as following a more vocational major into an obvious kind of job, but so what? You have little or no debt, you’re young, and life is ahead of you. Go for it! :)</p>

<p>ETA: I cross-posted with intparent, who said exactly what I told you people would say. With all due respect…</p>

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<p>Consolation, I sent you a PM.</p>

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<p>Become fluent in French, and spend a year volunteering in the Congo, Rwanda, Burundi, or a dozen other countries in Africa where your French will be a great asset. Even better, try Madagascar!</p>

<p>That will get you out of SE Michigan. And you will be amazed at how useful your farming skills will turn out. Know anything about irrigation? Animal husbandry? Crop rotation? The Peace Corps would LOVE you.</p>

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<p>I faced a similar situation eons ago- grew up in a Madison WI suburb- only 8 miles from the UW campus. My saving grace was living on campus instead of commuting. Broadened my horizons immensely. The world came to me.</p>

<p>Two things. First- you need a major to be focused. Many students end up at their state’s flagship campus as it is the best (especially in your case) and cheapest option. Loving a field and delving into the upper level courses changes your role. You become part of a group, not just one of thousands. You use the major to either get a job far away or go on to grad school elsewhere. </p>

<p>Next- if feasible moving to off campus housing would put you in the midst of the diverse campus culture 24/7. Living at home and commuting keeps you in your childhood world. I know many students can’t afford to move (I had scholarships and then a campus food service job). Just using your home as a place to sleep while spending most of your time on campus helps you in being with the many who come from all over. Treating college as going to take classes only means you are missing the greatest part of being at a world class U.</p>

<p>Patience is required. Immerse yourself in your major. It sounds like French might be it. Discuss opportunities with your mentors. Make a plan, have the goal to leave be your motivator. Think about where you would go. Is spending time in French Canada appealing? Is trying a big city? If so- Chicago or New York or other east coast places? Look at what jobs are available in some of those locales. It doesn’t have to be French related, a college degree in anything is sometimes the only requirement. Consider taking courses for job skills along with your major.</p>

<p>Check out the campus career center for interest and ability tests to see what fields people like you end up in. You might discover a major that clicks with you.</p>

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<p>Last time I checked there we no fences or walls keeping people in SE Michigan. If you’re at MSU or Michigan you can major in virtually any subject you want, (though as a first semester junior you should have declared something by now). </p>

<p>You can blame everyone else for your situation; you can list every excuse in the world but at the end of the day it’s your life. Finish your degree and then leave. It’s really that simple.</p>

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<p>And I bet you’ll come back LOVING SE Michigan.</p>

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<p>The OP is likely at Eastern Michigan U. MSU is not in the south east, and I doubt that someone who was at the U of M would be feeling big regret for going to the “local” university.</p>

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<p>Thank you for all of your responses. </p>

<p>I know that this all may come across as rather whiney, and I’m sorry about that. It’s just really frustrating for me. I’ve never even left the state of Michigan before, so I just feel so sheltered and ignorant to what the world (and the rest of the United States) is like. </p>

<p>My biggest strength so far does tend to be with French and writing, and my school also has a translation program that I could pursue. It may require me to spend an extra year to take a few more classes, but since my 4 years are covered and I’ll most likely not have any debt before then, I think it would be worth my extra money.</p>

<p>I guess I just have this farfetched, tantalizing dream to get out and explore while I still can. I have this weird obsession with Virginia, and I’m very tempted to just drive down there one day and just travel and wing it. </p>

<p>The farm consumes most of my energy from March-October, and school is pretty much year-round. I just feel like I’m truly stuck at this point in my life.</p>

<p>ETA: I actually go to Oakland University. It’s a bit better than EMU (so I’ve heard), but nowhere near as good as U of M or MSU. I really like the campus and the atmosphere (so low key and suburban), but I recognize that I could’ve done better. </p>

<p>I actually turned down MSU and didn’t even apply to U of M because I was beside myself with glee at OU’s presidential scholarship that pays for all tuition. Not even trying for U of M is one of my biggest regrets ever.</p>

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<p>If you have one of OU’s presidential scholarships, then you have access to many of the inner workings of the university. You’re in an elite, treasured group. You need to go to profs NOW, to administrators NOW and work those connections. My friend’s daughter also has the OU Pres scholarship. She’s plied that by making herself know to department heads, the top faculty and admins. She’s fielding multiple internship offers every summer and doubtlessly, will have a choice of nice job offers after graduation. That’s within your grasp as well. Find someone with whom you can confide and ASK FOR ASSISTANCE. It’s there – especially for you. OU wants its Presidential Scholars to flourish – you’re their crown jewels – they will help you – take advantage of it.</p>

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<p>How does one do that?? Do you have to be part of the Honors College to be given as many opportunities?? I actually turned that down because I didn’t think it would do much for me. Will that hurt me? Is there any way I can join? SHOULD I consider joining? I feel like I’ve already been making so many major mistakes!! I don’t know why I made the choices that I did. </p>

<p>FWIW, I’ve actually already made myself known in the French Department. I know all of the tenured profs and most of the adjuncts, and I’ve had the chair of the Modern Languages Department as a prof (she’s a French prof and she’s incredibly kind and lovely in every way), and she encourages me to keep her posted on stuff (I’ve talked to her about studying abroad and whatnot). </p>

<p>Is doing stuff like this what you mean by reaching out to department heads and profs? What else should I be doing? And what kind of internships can one interested in French/writing get? And how do I convey all of this concern and questions to my profs (and especially the department head) in an appropriate way? </p>

<p>I actually feel some hope now, but also more regret since I wish I was a sophomore that would be doing all of this.</p>

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<p>Oh persona3, hang in there! It’ll be okay! </p>

<p>I go to OU too, and I’m actually a French major (maybe I even know you from classes…?!). However, I’m a sophomore and a Distinguished Scholar (which is like a half-ride though I have other grants too), and I’ve found that as long as you appear ambitious and motivated, profs love you and will go out of their way to help you! </p>

<p>I also know the chair fairly well (I love her! She truly lights up a room), and I know that she’s super approachable. If you just run into her office (or maybe make a meeting first, though I’ve just run in before) and say “hey, I’m so lost and I think I want to continue on with French,” she most likely will refer you to the major advisor (who’s also really nice), but also, she’ll probably talk with you about your plans, especially if you’ve had her before and she liked you. </p>

<p>I know it can get kind of dull at school, especially since you commute, but try sticking around sometime. I switch on-and-off from commuting to living on campus, and when I commuted last winter, I found that I had fun just sitting with people in the OC after class. Sometimes we’d go on an adventure to find some certain kinds of cuisine in the area, and it was always fun! Do you know anyone from high school that goes there? That helped me a lot when I commuted. I’d find other commuting friends to drive with/eat with. </p>

<p>So, I’m bumping your thread for you, but I’d also like to post a side-question and kind of hijack, if you don’t mind: as a Distinguished Scholar, does OU value me, too? In other words, do I have access to getting good internships as just a smart, motivated student? (I’m also not in the Honors College). Like persona, I have a high GPA (3.95), and I’m going out of my way to get to know faculty better (joining/starting clubs, going to office hours even when I don’t need help, etc.) </p>

<p>In general, how should persona and I approach our professors, especially in the French Department? It’s a smaller department, so does that hurt us or help us?</p>

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<p>Internships for French majors: the State Department. S had one. He was assigned to the Foreign Service Institute–which trains foreign service officers–and worked with the head of the French program. There are, of course, jobs in embassies and consulates abroad, but those are probably the hardest to get. :slight_smile: IIRC, the Dept lets you select several possibilities when you apply. If you can take time off for an internship at any time OTHER than the summer, it is easier to get one.</p>

<p>Internships for writers: National Public Radio. Again, if you can apply for a term other than summer, your chances are better.</p>

<p>It sounds as if you have developed a pattern of undervaluing yourself and limiting your own options. (I can’t imagine turning down an Honors College. What could the drawbacks possibly be?) Just make an appointment with the chair, go in, and tell her that you regret some of the choices you’ve made and you have finally woken up and smelled the coffee, so to speak. Talk about some of these options, if they appeal to you. Ask for advice. I’m willing to bet she will be happy to help you. (This applies to both of you. :slight_smile: )</p>

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<p>It sounds like you should graduate from OU, but how about a semester or summer abroad? You could go see the world, but for a limited time, and knowing you would be coming back home. Does your school offer a semester abroad?</p>

<p>Could you just up and take a trip? You have a nice nest egg. Does OU have alumni trips?</p>

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<p>I feel your pain, as someone who has remained “stuck” in SE Michigan for 48 years. When my D wanted to go to NYC for college, I urged her to do it and made some sacrifices myself to make sure she could escape. This is a horribly depressing place to live these days. </p>

<p>There are all kinds of internships out there and I strongly suggest you seek them out. I think the Peace Corps, mentioned above, is a great idea too! I know someone who joined the Peace Corps with a French major and after his Peace Corps stint, began teaching English in South Korea. </p>

<p>Honestly, there are more jobs just about anywhere than there are here. You will be able to justifiably move out of this state when you get a job offer somewhere else.</p>

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<p>I looked up Oakland U. Average college by ACT and gpa. I had assumed U of Michigan but this is a medium sized regional school. Anyone can go to the career center and talk to professors (as you have already done) regardless of special designations. A semester abroad would be a great way to supplement your French courses. You need to have specific goals, including a major and what you plan to do with it. Your choice- dedicate your energy to finishing college and moving OOS or accept the limitations you otherwise choose. Could call it making lemonade out of lemons or rescuing yourself from previous choices. Your adult life has barely begun, plenty ahead of you- take charge of it.</p>

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<p>You’ve got a lot of great suggestions in the above posts. The common thread with all of them though (internships, Honors college, study abroad, mentoring from department profs, help from higher ups within your special merit award area, etc) is <strong><em>meet and talk to these folks</em></strong>.</p>

<p>A lot of college students don’t seem to have the confidence or aggressiveness to ask for help/opinions/assistance, to show up at office hours regularly whether you really need help or not. You’re even more likely to fall into that category because you’re a commuter. You need to ask and network — network and ask — repeat again and again.</p>

<p>“DADG” means “don’t ask, don’t get” — you need to start asking. It sounds like you’ve been taking classes, and doing extremely well, but like a lot of other students you may be assuming that the world will magically make something happen for/to you. It doesn’t usually happen that way. you’ve got to find your own path, and that’s okay because there are lots of folks willing to help. You’ve just got to get out there and meet them and ask.</p>

<p>Print out the above posters suggestions, circle all the great ideas, and work your way though them!</p>

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<p>Talk to more of your profs. Many will be interested in your story. Some may have helpful suggestions. They love to talk to talented students who have ambitions. Seriously; trust me on this, I’m one of them (different field, however). </p>

<p>Take a week between semesters and drive up to Montreal and Quebec City, just for a hoot. (Better yet, take a friend). Montreal is about an 8 hour drive from Port Huron (I’m guessing you’re up that way based on your description). Montreal is a charming and urbane city. It will feel very French and it will be a great opportunity to use your French. Quebec City is even more deep Quebecois (not necessarily more French, but the history of the French in America is palpable there). You’ll have a blast. Don’t expect any concrete payoff in next steps in your life, but I think it will leave you feeling less isolated and “stuck,” and it’s always available to you as long as you live in Southeast Michigan. Keep in mind, though, you’ll need a passport to travel to Canada these days.</p>

<p>Take a day and go to Ann Arbor and talk to people in their French department about graduate studies there–setting up those meetings in advance, of course. I’m not saying you should do a Ph.D. program, but it’s an option you could consider, and with a 3.96 undergrad GPA you’re certainly a plausible candidate (depending on how your GRE turns out). Just getting yourself to Ann Arbor and engaging with another faculty and contemplating the possibility of continuing with high-level graduate studies in a field you’re clearly passionate about and doing well in will do much to lift you up. Ann Arbor is in many ways quite unlike the rest of Southeast Michigan. There are people there from all parts of the country and most parts of the world, most of whom deeply value the kinds of academic values you hold. And of course, once you do contemplate graduate studies, you needn’t stop at Ann Arbor. You might be able to find a fully supported Ph.D. program at any number of schools around the country. You’d probably need to teach undergrad French classes to get that support, but hey, it’s a job, of sorts, and not a bad one. whatever you decide about pursuing that route, the inquiry will be enlightening and broadening.</p>

<p>Definitely look into the Peace Corps. You have valuable agricultural skills as well as language skills that can serve you, your home country, and your host community well.</p>

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<p>I was born and raised in SE Michigan. Got out for a while (lived in different parts of the state, country, and world) and now I’m right back here in SE Michigan and loving it. I, too, desperately wanted to get out. After getting out I realized that it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be and came back (just my personal situation, obviously for MANY they leave and never come back). </p>

<p>I’d look in to a semester abroad if you can swing it. Get out and spread your wings a bit.</p>

<p>FWIW, I have quite a few friends in top grad programs that went to OU for undergrad. Many were top students there and landed nice research positions with faculty that they wouldn’t have had access to at so-called more prestigious universities. </p>

<p>There is life after OU and SE Michigan. Finish your degree and then move on. A lot of my friends moved to Denver and Chicago post-college. You will have many, many options post-college with little or no debt and a very nice nest egg (for a college student, that’s fantastic). I’ve been on my own with debt and with a nest egg a small fraction of that for quite a while and doing fine. </p>

<p>Other than that, I second pretty much all the suggestions in this thread. Just remember that you only “have” to be here another 2 years. Then you’re free to up and leave with a degree and a decent chunk of change.</p>