So Hopeless

A month from now marks the worst school year of my life. It began with me working my ass off in high school just to not get into any top schools that I wanted. I learned to suck it up and get over it even after feeling so defeated after four years of hard work. I get to Northeastern and try to have a positive attitude and make the best out of it. After almost 8 months here, I have no friends, failed 2 classes the first semester, and got put on academic probation. I am at risk to fail 3 more (at this time in the semester). I feel so defeated. I’m a first-gen American who was always good at school, this was supposed to be my way out of poverty, my leg up and I feel like I’m blowing it. Not only that, but I thought life was supposed to get better in college. I’m not a shy or introverted person so I have no idea how I got here. At the end of high school, I had a huge amazing friend group and was thriving academically, I couldn’t have predicted this outcome in my worst nightmares. I have no idea what to do.

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It makes total sense that you are failing classes, because depression really messes with our ability to concentrate and do our best work. Go to the health service first thing tomorrow and make an appointment. Then go talk to your advisor and tell them you are struggling with severe depression, and need to be given accommodations (like extensions etc.) to the full extent of their policy. This is NOT your fault. You will fell SO much better and your life will be so much better when your depression is fully treated.


@fiftyfifty1 gives good advice. Follow it. You may even want to pursue withdrawals from your current courses, based on medical reasons. I feel so bad for you, but I’ve also struggled with depression so I understand what you’re going through.


If your RA or Hall Director are still up you can go talk to them, but please reach out to someone in the morning. There are many people that care about you and want to help you.

This NU page contains lots of contact info and there are staff on campus who can help you navigate this with your professors. You can get extended time possibly or incompletes for the courses and work on things over the summer.


If there is an emergency that requires immediate assistance, call Northeastern University Police Department emergency line at [(617) 373-3333](tel:(617) 373-3333) or 911.


Find@Northeastern is your 24/7 immediate access connection to the mental health support and resources you need to feel better on the path ahead. With just one call, wherever you are in our community, you’ll reach someone to listen, respond, and be there to help. Find@Northeastern at 877.233.9477 (U.S.), 855-229-8797 (Canada),+1.781.457.7777 (International), 24-hours a day, seven days a week. Learn More

Blue Cross Blue Shield Well Connection

Students who have the Northeastern University Student Health Plan (NUSHP) can access live virtual clinical visits through Well Connection. This service provides licensed doctors and clinicians for minor medical and behavioral health care using their preferred device (cell phone, laptop, tablet, etc.). For more information click here.

Boston Area Urgent Care

When UHCS is closed, please visit a local urgent care or emergency department for immediate concerns.

Below is a list of local Urgent Care sites to consider.

Massachusetts General Hospital

Urgent Care – Brookline
1285 Beacon Street
Brookline, MA 02446
Phone: 617-751-6205
Open every day 9am-9pm
Walk-in appointments OR schedule an appointment online in advance
Getting there: Green Line “C” branch to Coolidge Corner T stop

Urgent Care – Boston Common
137 Stuart Street, Suite A-7
Boston, MA 02116
(Inside City Place, next to Dunkin Donuts)
Phone: 617-393-5059
Open every day 9am-9pm
Walk-in appointment or schedule an appointment online in advance
Getting there: Two blocks from Boylston T stop (Green Line), three blocks from Chinatown T stop (Orange Line)

National Mental Health Hotlines

Samaritans Crisis Hotline 877-870-HOPE(4673)

Trained volunteers are available 24 hours a day 7 days a week to provide support and assistance.

Crisis Text Line 741741

Provides free, 24/7 emotional support via text. Text 741741 when you are in crisis/need to talk. A live, trained counselor will respond promptly and be available to provider support and assistance.


Pls get help. People want to help. It’ll be ok. You need rest and support. Hugs and prayers, breathe, relax& rest. I’m sorry. You’ve come so far. There is help to regroup. Pls take care.


The transition to college can be difficult. My daughter went from being a straight A high school student to struggling her first year. She figured it out, regrouped, and graduated last June. I agree that you need to first and foremost get some mental health care. Withdrawing from some classes is a good plan too.


You need to know that you are not the only one who has experienced this type of transition, so let’s put into motion what you need to do next:

1.) Listen to the posters here and make sure your physical and emotional health are stable, first and foremost!
2.) While getting checked out, investigate the support services for students: go to the university’s tutors. It’s not a defeating issue to seek and use the tutors.
My “A student” daughters went to the tutors all 4 years. My son used the tutors for 2 years. One was asked to be an engineering tutor because she was there daily, and they didn’t have a tutor at her level of expertise, so they said-“you’re already here, we’ll pay you”. No one was at her level.
She sought the tutoring services “for fun” in her senior year. You will easily make friends at the writing centers and tutoring sessions.
(Our middle daughter went to the tutors from day one. She didn’t really need them but, she found out lots of “useful” information. One GA told her that the prof used the supplemental texts {that no one bought/rented} to get his questions for the exams.)

3.) Check in with the academic counseling services on campus. Start a paper trail with the counselors so that if you have to file an appeal, for academic probation, they will “have your back”.

My daughters and son did it and so can you!
You got into Northeastern, you CAN Do this!


So sorry you are experiencing this!! If you are comfortable you should also let your parents know how you are feeling. They love you and want you to be healthy and happy. I hope you can communicate with them so they can show you they care.

FYI you are the opposite of hopeless. You have a world of opportunity ahead of you!! What you are experiencing is very real and likely feels overwhelming but it is temporary. You are more resilient then you could ever realize and happiness and opportunity are right around the corner.


You’ve gotten some excellent advice here. I also wanted to ask if you’ve connected with the office at Northeastern (FUNL) that provides support to first-gen students? They might be a great support and have good resources for you.

Please know that there is nothing wrong with asking for help whether it be for your depression or tutoring or whatever. I think this is something many students struggle with in college if they didn’t need help in high school. Asking for help seems uncomfortable and embarrassing but the most successful students get help from others! An advisor told us at my daughter’s school that the students think the kids who ask all the questions and go to office hours are the ones who are struggling, but usually they are the ones doing the best.


I am sorry you are struggling. You can get through this by being proactive and taking concrete steps to make your situation better.

Please read through the many excellent suggestions on this thread:

Tomorrow go right to the campus counseling center and make an appointment. Find a mental health provider with your family insurance. You can call the insurance co and ask for names near your area.

Go to the academic counselor and ask for help about how to address your grades. Maybe you can get a retroactive withdrawal after a diagnosis. Don’t allow your grades to continue this way. They will follow you. Best of luck.


My 19 year old took a medical withdrawal in October, we are very grateful he let us know what is going on. It took about an hour with his advisor, and she was extremely helpful and thorough with his options. Make an appointment with mental health services ASAP, tell your parents. Honestly finding services for our son has been challenging, they are extremely overwhelmed, so you certainly aren’t alone. My son just had a neurological psychological exam, took a month to get in, and that’s only because it’s out of network. She said she’s been seeing a record number of college freshmen. Your mental health comes before college.


First off, this is super common. Most of the successful adults I know today (I’m in my 50s) had periods of depression and struggle to fit in during college. They might not have looked like it to an outside observer, but so many people I know had a rough adjustment. Many took a semester off, but not all did. Some just hid it and tried to keep on going on. Things are so much better today around mental health and taking care of yourself.

Go talk to someone about this. Make a plan for protecting your mental health. Make a plan for making friends. It’s a tough transition.


Lots of really good advise on this thread.
Making friends boils down to participation. A school like NE has a ton of student groups. Join one or two of them. Speaking from personal experience, a service oriented club or an outing club is the easiest place to meet great people. Also, do you not have roommates?
Whatever happens, start your day with an affirmation – that you are worthy and you will persevere. Stay strong and find some help.

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This is not the end of the world - there are solutions laid out in this thread, and there are tons of folks who care. You need to advocate for yourself, though, or get your parents to help.

My kid was in a similarly bad place a year ago, did a medical withdrawal and came home.

She was self-aware enough to realize she was in grave danger – I think you might be at the same place right now – and she moved quickly.

As her mom, who talked and FaceTimed her almost daily, I still had no idea, from 400 miles away, that she was in such a bad place.

At home, she got some therapy, some meds, some much-needed perspective, and returned last fall. She managed to keep her scholarship and is on track to graduate on time. Her outlook on life is 180 degrees better, she is confident, she has a solid friend group and amazing help from her professors.

You can turn this around! Please check back in and let us know how you’re doing.


How are you @Beaniegirljujuz ? I hope you’re feeling a bit better.


Spot on!
Our middle daughter went to the tutors everyday. She got into her med school program. It’s the kids who swallow their pride and intimidation who go to ask for help. You can do this!

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I think you need a break. A long break. Drop out and forget about studying for some time, please.

Thank you to everyone in this thread for reaching out and lending a kind word. The good news is I think I have a handle on the rest of this semester academically. I don’t want to speak too soon, but I think I’ll be able to pull off passing for all of my classes. I tried to get into therapy, I’m not too sure about the current therapist I was assigned so I might change, but while I am still having bad mental days I feel hopeful that it will be helpful. The bad news is still have no friends just a few acquaintances but I do feel defeated as the semester is over in 2 weeks and I don’t have friends. Overall I’m hanging in there and at least in two weeks, I’ll be able to say I finished my first year of college!


Thanks so much for coming back to update. You seem much more positive. Keep your sprits up. Be proactive and find a therapist for the summer if you can.

I’m very proud of you. It takes a lot of good sense and courage to pour your heart out to strangers and then use their advice. I feel optimistic for you, Beaniegirljujuz. :+1:


It is great to hear from you. You have accomplished a lot this past year and you have been so brave.

Communicate with your professors if you start to struggle in the coming weeks. Many are very understanding after the past two years.

Next semester will start with a fresh outlook for many students on campus. With co-ops, students are coming back at different times and you will have smaller classes as you move forward in your major.

Over the summer figure out what accommodations you may need to request for next year to be successful. Your therapist and doctors will need to help you document this for the university.

You have great things ahead and Spring is coming to Boston in the next two weeks I promise!