<p>My dad just just recently discovered his new favorite thing to do: Lie about me.</p>
<p>He tells anyone and everyone - usually his clients while on the phone - that his youngest daughter (me) is probably headed to Stanford, can expect a big scholarship, too, and wants to be a doctor. Apparently, I also have a full ride to Fresno State (I’m from Fresno, CA).</p>
<p>Wow. Because for so long I’ve been under the impression that I want to be a journalist, and am pretty much dead set on Mizzou. </p>
<p>I’ve done a lot of great things as a student-journalist. I’m editor-in-chief of both the yearbook and the newspaper, an editor at the literary mag, write for two local commercial newspapers, participated in a selective Dow Jones Newspaper Fund workshop, and was the first person from the West Coast in about 5 years to participate in Channel One News’ Student-Produced Week. I’ve got bylines up the hoo-ha, and awards a-plenty on my wall. Basically, I think journalism is my calling.</p>
<p>But he always tells me to get a real job (“like your sister’s!”). Is this normal? Should he be disappointed that I’m not some pre-med Stanford wannabe? I guess his argument is that I get good grades and am “the brain” of the family, so I shouldn’t waste my potential. </p>
<p>Alot of parents do what your dad does. It’s not uncommon; my parents do it too. But, and I know this is rediculously obvious, you should do what you think you want to do; even if it does disappoint him.
With me, this isn’t a problem, because the occupation my parents keep telling their friends that I have my heart set on is actually the one I want.
If you do persue a carrer in journalism he might get upset at first; but he’ll get over it sooner or later.</p>
<p>Yes, lots of parents, unfortunately, are like your dad. Don’t blame it on yourself: Realize that they probably are disappointed in their own achievements and are trying to get their kids to do what they wish they had done for themselves.</p>
<p>Also realize that no matter what you do, probably it wouldn’t be enough for your dad because the problem is within him, not within you.</p>
<p>My mom was disappointed when I decided not to become a doctor. Even though I went to Havard, was an award-winning journalist at some of the country’s top newspapers, got a doctorate in the social sciences, and taught college at a second/third tier college,and won some major awards including national ones, when I was in my 40s, my mom was trying to get me to go to law school! </p>
<p>Anyway, follow your own heart, and feel sorry for your dad because the person he’s really disappointed in is himself, not you.</p>
<p>Try to understand when your dad is on the phone with “clients” he’s “selling”. That means the things he’ll say are to make them “happy”, not you. Cut him some slack, I would guess he’s very proud of you. Try to understand business calls are business calls. There’s a difference.</p>
<p>“Business calls or not, he shouldn’t have done it in front of me, at least.”</p>
<p>And I shouldn’t talk to the people on the phone about selling my D kidney (well, she has two.) to pay for college to my clients in front of her. It makes it hard for her to sleep. </p>
<p>I would imagine if your da has real “feelings” about the situation, you’d be in arguements pretty much everytime the subject came up. </p>
<p>Could it be that you are having some issues with yourself about the choice and dad happens to be convienent? He hasn’t told you absolutely not has he? Or is it that he hasn’t fully embraced your decision in a way you’d like him to? Does your decision require 100% approval from anybody or does it require everybody? </p>
<p>As to doing it infront of you, well, it could be argued that you should have left the room when he is talking to a client out of respect for the confidentiality of the conversation. </p>
<p>A little thicker skin may be in order here. You should realize that if he’s talking to other people about you and the choices you have, he’s pretty darn proud of you and he’s crowing a bit. That should be modestly embarrassing, that he thinks that much of you as to tell other people what great college options you have. I doubt there’s any dissappointment in you at all.</p>
<p>My dad told a lot of people that I’m top 5 in the school, (more like top 30), and that Im applying to harvard and that I’m dead sure I’ll get in (ehh the biggest reach school im applying to is jhu), and that Im deadset on my dreams and that I’m going to do pre-med (undecided major + no premed).
And then I told him that my latest mid year results plummeted my ‘rank’ down to the mediocre range, but he still continued to talk about my ‘successes’.</p>
<p>But, I wouldn’t say he’s disappointed. He’s probably more like, embarrased lol. oh well it’s his own fault - i dont really care what others think of me anyway.</p>
<p>But what is the best preparation to be a journalist? According to Jane Pauley one should do some heavy mental lifting while in college majoring in history, philosophy, econ, whatever - learn something, learn to think, learn to research, learn perspective.</p>