<p>Darling daughter told us a few weeks ago she was looking to buy an IPhone off of some random guy off the internet. After we pointed out how dangerous and unwise that would be, subject was dropped. Well…today she came home at 1 AM and said — “You aren’t going to like this, but I am happy about it — I bought an IPhone from a guy from Craigslist!” After a few parental eye rolls and headshakes, she left the room, tiffed. When we talked with her about it, we calmly pointed out the dangers again…who knows who this guy is, what he used the phone for, where he got it, etc. Her reaction? “I gave you the opportunity not to react like you always do, and lecture me! But you did the same thing you always do, and I don’t want a lecture at 1 AM!” (Sound of her bedroom door shutting) Comments? (Not fishing here, just want honest responses.)</p>
<p>We purchase items off of craigslist all of the time. It is a great place to get good buys. However there is smart craigslist purchasing and not smart purchasing. Craigslist itself offers tips for safety. My husbands and I have certain “rules” for purchasing. Don’t meet someone alone, meet in a public place when possible, test electronics…
My advice would be to make this about safety and secure purchasing, risk benefit ratio, and other ways to protect herself as a consumer. Find out how she set the transaction up, see if there were other options she could have chosen with the same outcome. Make sure she can get the phone activated. There was just legiislation presented to establish a national registry of stolen cell phones to prevent resell and activation under a new person. If she bought that phone off of craigslist once that list is available, she could check the phones leg status that way. Right now, she could still run into trouble trying to activate the phone if it was stolen.</p>
<p>After his Iphone abandoned him to swim in the Atlantic ocean, my S bought a Droid phone off Craigslist and has had no problems. It was his second time buying a phone off craigslist. He has phone issues:)</p>
<p>I’ve bought a lot of cell phones through eBay. They’ve worked out great.</p>
<p>(I use eBay because you can see the seller’s feedback and tell if they’re legit or not. Plus there is recourse if an item doesn’t work out.)</p>
<p>I think some are missing the point, it’s not about the phone working properly…it’s about the safety of a young girl meeting a total stranger to buy the phone. Details are not given, but buying from Craig’s List usually means meeting the seller for the exchange…normally the item is not shipped. I hope your D met in a public place.</p>
<p>To me the issue is about communication with the D, “I gave you the opportunity not to react like you always do, and lecture me!” Her buying the phone without your permission was immature and her reaction a bit childish so there may be reason for the “lecture” but there is obviously a disconnect between you all. Hindsight is 20/20 and I think as parents our first reaction may be “no” but as our kids mature we need to let them start making decisions on their own (with our "gentle Guidance). Maybe when she was talking about buying a phone off Craigslist, you or your spouse could have gotten involved, helped her investigate and make sure that it was in fact safe and legitimate rather than just saying no, especially if she was using her own money. Maybe this is a good starting point to open up communication. Good luck.</p>
<p>how old is daughter? Where did she get the money for the phone? My comments would differ based on the answers to those questions.</p>
<p>D sold her old phone on Craigslist – met the purchaser at Chipotle and finished the transaction there. I’m not seeing that the sales transaction was particularly risky. The purchaser took some risk, I guess, because it could have been a stolen phone (but it wasn’t) – but I don’t particularly see that D had some big risk.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This. Definitely this. </p>
<p>I’ve bought many things off CL. Never had an issue.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Did she meet this person in her dorm room/apartment or in a public place? I would guess a public place. My son has bought and sold things on Craigslist…so has my DD. They have never had issues but have always met in a public place.</p>
<p>I would also want to know how old the daughter is.</p>
<p>My parents have had these reactions AFTER I started living on my own and was self supporting, and my reaction was much like your daughter’s. I think at some point you need to let your kid figure these things out and assume they are not completely unaware.</p>
<p>I have bought stuff off Craigslist, and I just make sure to arrange to meet in a public place.</p>
<p>I can tell you that for me personally, these reactions from my parents have not done anything good for our relationship. I have simply told them that since they continue to be overprotective, I am no longer going to share all these details of my life (like buying something or going away somewhere - when I am going alone and need to have someone know where I am, I tell a trusted fried). It’s only after my mom started to respect my decisions, even if she disagrees, that our relationship imporved, and I feel comfortable telling her more about my life.</p>
<p>I don’t really see the problem either. I love CraigList for used phones and I ask the seller to wait while I pop my sim card in to make sure it works. Of course, I only meet them in public places. I prefer the mall since you can wander around a little afterwards and it’s unlikely anyone would follow you out.</p>
<p>My son is tired of the lectures too. His birthday it tomorrow and I reminded him about drinking and fighting and so on (drinking that gets out of hand can lead to bad things.) He knows all this, and I know he knows, so why do I do it. He says, this is why I hate telling you things…because he knows lecture is coming. I told him I can’t stop myself. I get what your daughter was saying. I also get that you are afraid for her. When you have a moment when she is receptive, let her know you just worry about her. Remind her to always take a friend and meet in public places when dealing with Craigslist. Remind her there are scammers and if she gets taken (like buys a stolen phone) then it’s on her. This is about letting them be independent, they don’t see it as us being worried.</p>
<p>Bought my phone off ebay, buy and sell junk on Craig’s List all the time. Furnished son’s new apartment that way. We are just safe about it, always go together, tell others where we are going to be…</p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>It appears that the OP at least has one daughter who has graduated college and moved back home… I wonder if it’s the same daughter…</p>
<p>In life one has to deal with others, in various situations, at various locations…that’s what makes the world spin. Make sure your daughter pops a $15 Straight Talk sim in her new AT&T iPhone to get “unlimited” talk, text and data for $45/month!</p>
<p>[Shop</a> | Straight Talk](<a href=“http://www.straighttalksim.com/shop.php]Shop”>http://www.straighttalksim.com/shop.php)</p>
<p>My DD did buy one off CL. She took a big guy friend with her. I was still agaisnt it, as I feel this supports trafficing in stolen goods.</p>
<p>If she is 18 or older and using her money, it should be a non issue. Her life lesson, not yours.</p>
<p>Along the phone issue…friend’s son 15 y.o. (with dad’s permission) bought an iphone on Craig’s List. They met the seller in a public place (WalMart parking lot, I think). The kid had chosen an Android when they re-upped their contract, then decided he wanted the iphone. Anyway, they go to their provider to get the phone added to their subscription…and it had been reported stolen. So they went through h*ll trying to get hold of the seller, who claimed innocence when told he was selling a hot phone. He did, finally, give the kid his money back (he’d paid almost retail…)…but meanwhile, he was out a phone (having sold his old one on ebay) and there were some kind of creepy moments with the seller… Not the issue of OP, I hope, but a cautionary tale.</p>
<p>My son bought a Droid off Craigslist when his died just 2 months before he was eligible for an upgrade (and 10 months after the warrantee expired… yeah, Verizon’s got a racket going). He went with a friend and met the guy during daylight at a Home Depot Parking Lot. The phone itself was a very early model Droid but appeared to have been barely used - S got the impression it had been a store model or something. He registered it with Verizon and has had no problems with it.</p>
<p>The key to me was that he brought a friend with him and met the seller in the daylight at a very public place.</p>
<p>We sold a car on Craigslist, it worked out well.</p>
<p>Given the tone of your daughter’s reply (You’re giving me a lecture again and I don’t need it), perhaps next time you should try a different approach. I usually start by asking questions. Often I find the things I expected to be most objectionable have already been figured out by my kid and mitigated. Or if the subject comes up via a question, they don’t feel as “attacked,” and may even say, “Hmmm… I hadn’t thought of that.”</p>