This sounds like my younger kid (the one who did not like Stanford or Claremont McKenna). That kid went to Santa Clara University which was a perfect choice for that kid. Kid found her people there, and is successful now.
If you want more details, you can message me.
Who said it couldn’t? It is still by definition an exclusive and narrow club and those tend to be very inward-looking and self-perpetuating…
Of course you should also expect large overlap between the knowledgeable, scholarly, highly skilled elites and the wealthy elites for both causal reasons (they each enable the others) and correlative ones.
My sister was rejected from Princeton decades ago, salutatorian of her class, straight A’s, high SAT’s, varsity athlete, clubs, our dad was a Princeton graduate (he was an annual donor but not big time). My dad’s brother and one of his sons were also Princeton graduates. My dad and uncle attended good NJ boarding schools, I’m sure that helped more than my sister’s public education.
Maybe it was the “inward and self-perpetuating” piece that explains the OP’s “meh” feeling after spending a day there.
For what it is worth, I agree with all this.
Normally if you told me a kid “really liked” W&M and “hated” Swarthmore, Princeton would not be a school I would consider suggesting. The Hopkins thing is throwing me off, though, because usually I would put Hopkins more in the same part of the college family tree with Swarthmore and Princeton. And to be clear, there are some kids who love being in that part of the tree. And others who want nothing to do with it. And that is all fine.
But anyway, holding Hopkins aside, I am back to thinking–what about Bryn Mawr?
If you like Collegiate Gothic campuses, it is one of the best. Within the required driving distance. Great sort of college if you don’t know your desired major yet but have interests and abilities that cut through both sciences and humanities. Great sort of college for smart but quirky people.
And she may or may not respond positively to the vibe, but I think it is as good a bet as any to feel very different from Princeton or Swarthmore while still meeting her other criteria.
I do not see this as a problem, unless she is considering a very specialized school.
I think she can find her interests at many schools. She can also ask about a double major.
It is common to enter college undecided about a major or career path. It is also very common to change majors and career paths.
I disagree. JHU is pretty pre-professional.
Just chiming in to say that my kid really liked W+M too and in some ways it doesn’t fit with the other schools she liked. I think W+M – probably in part bc it’s a public school – can be a fit for a broader cross section. I think in the end, many schools and tours had a level of packaged polish that we got tired of. W+M just seemed like an interesting combination of many different kinds of schools with less polished packaging.
Maybe, wouldn’t be the first person to become disillusioned with an elite club once they saw it on the inside.
Maybe we can move the conversation forward. Maybe we can remember that College Confidential is not a debate society.
OP- as I’ve mentioned on another thread, I always thought Princeton was the absolute pinnacle of college life (I am not a grad, did not apply). We toured with all my kids- their reactions ranged from “I like the hydrangeas” to " the campus is really pretty" and NOTHING past that.
Let me suggest a couple of places you might explore further–
Holy Cross
Skidmore
Brandeis
Northwestern (too far?)
Goucher
Strong in bio/humanities, a lot of kids who straddle both science and humanities, not hugely pre-professional. Campus-based lifestyle (not a lot of commuters/suitcase school, etc.) Lots of “life of the mind” kids- perhaps Northwestern being an outlier there, but I know some pretty hard core intellectual types (also loved W&M) who really fell in love with Northwestern.
Your D sounds great!
Thank you so much! Will definitely check these out. I do think Northwestern is probably too far but wouldn’t rule anything out at this point. I think some other hopeful will be taking her place with a Princeton long shot app. Beautiful place though and we had a nice dinner and day trip!
Finding out you don’t like is equally as important as finding out you love. So a valuable trip.
We thought that Darmouth was a definite possibility for our son, with his strong stats and running ability. But we were really underwhelmed when we visited the campus. He did apply - it was his only rejection out of 11 applications. I guess the school knew it wasn’t a good fit for him, too.
I sent you a DM! Let me know if you have trouble accessing it.
My S24 also thought he would love Dartmouth, then didn’t after visiting. He didn’t apply, but did end up applying to Middlebury without visiting, largely because a friend was going as a recruited athlete and it was an easy application.
And then he was waitlisted, and I definitely think they basically knew what was up.
I think there’s nothing wrong with letting schools that don’t live up to their hype for your student go. If the school isn’t one that was disliked but didn’t instill in her a must apply mindset and it is much more work, then it can be put on the chopping block.
One student I know had U Chicago on the list, visited and enjoyed it but it wasn’t top choice. Given the school’s preference for ED which the student was not going to do anywhere, much less Chicago, and that the app was more work than most, it was de-prioritized. By the time the EA deadline came around, it was dropped.
I suppose it could have been added for RD but essay burnout can happen. Anther school dropped from the RD list was Cornell which was the only Ivy that was considered. They’re both great schools but were lower on the want to apply list and there’s only so much time and energy. Princeton wasn’t even in consideration for this student due to the eating clubs which was just a flat out no even though there was no actual in person visit or experience with the school or its eating clubs. The idea of exclusionary clubs can be a turn off to some students even if the exclusionary part may not be the reality.
Tell me you’re managing yield without actually vocalizing the thought…
(And that’s okay – a healthy yield means less time wasted on kids who aren’t likely to attend… less work on the waitlist… etc.)
Yeah, my two cents is unless the college would work particularly well for the family for financial or other practical reasons, there is no harm letting the kids eliminate colleges for basically any reason that has limited their enthusiasm.
It’s “tell me you are managing yield, because without ED your yield would be embarrassingly low”.