<p>This parent withholding college tuition money case and a friend who is struggling with her senior have got me wondering what parents can do. My friend’s son is a senior and is skipping all his classes, except English, because, according to his counselor, that is all he needs for graduation. He believes he is headed to his local community college, so grades don’t really matter. He is refusing to look for a job and expects to get the college fund money that his parents have saved. Parents are divorced and he doesn’t listen to either of them. He pretty much does exactly what he wants. Earlier this week, my friend caught him smoking pot with a friend, up in his bedroom. I told my friend that he doesn’t sound like he’s ready for college. He is still 17 and won’t turn 18 until November. </p>
<p>I think taking away driving privileges is a big thing. In MD and Virginia a parent can revoke driving privileges for kids under 18. I also would not be “funding” any outside activities. </p>
<p>I would say that if the current case in NJ goes in favor of the child, many parents will rethink how they save for college for their children. </p>
<p>In the case of the friend’s son, I would not pay for my child to go to cc if he were not showing effort in high school. </p>
<p>I think I’d tell this young man this: you pay for your first semester at comm college.If you earn a 3.0 gpa, then we’ll reimburse you. </p>
<p>Having to pay usually sobers kids pretty quickly. </p>
<p>BTW, I’m hard pressed to find fault with his reasoning for not attending classes. If he is correct, and all he needs to graduate in one English class, then why should he attend the rest of his classes. From his perspective,there is no incentive to attend. It probably would have been a better idea to sign him up for one or two comm college classes already. Why wait? He clearly has no interest in high school, so why prolong the agony.</p>
<p>Taking the car is always effective. And the cellphone.</p>
<p>I like requiring some skin in the game for CC—making the kid pay some portion of the cost, which will mean a job. </p>
<p>Wonder if I will have some senioritis with current kid. I am thinking a job would be the best thing for him. </p>
<p>She claims she tried to shut off his phone service. He can’t make voice calls on his new i-Phone, but the texting still works??!!</p>
<p>I agree that getting a job takes care of several problems. </p>
<p>Take away the child’s privileges. </p>
<p>Have a car? Now, you don’t.
Had a fancy phone? Now, you don’t.
Able to go wherever you want to whenever you want to? Think again.
Thought you had a college fund? Not currently.</p>
<p>Show him there are repercussions for delinquency. His behavior shows he is not looking to be in the best shape for college. His parent should sit him down and speak to him about it. Additionally, if he spends time at both of his parents’ houses, then they should get together and establish rules and discipline that the will both abide by to allow their son to get back on track.</p>
<p>EDIT: If she cut off the phone service, why does the son still have the phone?</p>
<p>Before imposing consequences, the parents have to make sure THEY can live with them. My senior was without car and phone for 5 weeks and it was a pain to have to drive her to work, etc. </p>
<p>About the phone, my guess is he can use iMessage using wifi - just like an iTouch. </p>