<p>If you were a parent having a conversation with a fellow parent who is a friend, and the topic was why your kid picked the school they did, then saying S/D went with School X because of the merit money would be fine. </p>
<p>BTW: a person who asks where you are going to college is not a busybody. The are a pleasant and polite person who knows you are graduating from HS and wants to indicate interest. Sheesh.</p>
<p>With regard to the OP: assume good intentions. If someone hasn’t heard of Sewanee, say something like: “oh, it’s a liberal arts college in Tennesse. It’s probably best known for its involvement in the Southern literary scene and The Sewanee Review. It’s a beautiful campus on top of a mountain, and S is really looking forward to going.”</p>
<p>I’ve lived in 8 states (all around the country) so feel I’ve heard of or visited a lot of colleges, but I’m surprised every day when someone mentions a new college I’ve never heard of or at least don’t know anything about (like where it is). I still have trouble keeping Barry and Berry straight. I was one of the MANY people who had never heard of Lynn University until the presidential debates were hosted there. Same with Centre College.</p>
<p>My daughter picked a school that is 2.5 hours from our home, and hardly anyone has ever heard of it, and some people think she’s going to a trade school with a similar name. Her other choice was Smith, and no one had heard of that either.</p>
<p>@Consolation and @halfemptypockets… I apologize, the word “busybody” was poorly chosen. If everyone who asked college questions is a busybody, I am more than guilty of the same :)</p>
<p>For anyone–parent or kid–who feels insulted by a dismissive “I’ve never heard of it”, I give you Deep Springs College, poster child for Just Because People Haven’t Heard Of A College Means Exactly Nothing About How Impressive The College Really Is. Just saying. </p>
<p>I meant to add that I don’t think saying something like, “School X gave S very generous FA and we are so relieved” is in poor taste. The distinction is that merit money is bragging. When in doubt, don’t brag. :)</p>
<p>Yeah, aren’t there a couple of Smiths? There’s the prestigious women’s college and I think there might also be one in upstate New York – which is the one everyone had heard of when I lived in New York State.<br>
On the other hand, everybody’s heard of the University of Phoenix!</p>
<p>Four of my kids (and I) have gone to colleges that are either small, unknown, or regularly confused with other schools with similar names. I am happy to tell people a few fast facts about a school/why it was chosen. More people will learn about your kid’s relatively unknown school if you say nice things about it. If you like the school, it wouldn’t hurt to do a little PR for it. . .</p>
<p>My D is at a LAC that some people haven’t heard of. I just smile and say it is a wonderful small school in Pennsylvania, it was her top choice and she is thrilled to be there. That should be all anyone needs to know. </p>
<p>And btw, I’m in NY and have heard of Sewanee! Hope he has a great experience there.</p>
<p>I actually still worry a bit that I offended a (not-close but very lovely) friend with a sort of “never heard of it” response when he told me his son a few years back was going to Bucknell or Grinell (I actually can’t remember even which as I hadn’t-then heard of either). </p>
<p>“I’ve encountered condescending comments about schools my kids and others have chosen, and I think that people forget that this has an impact on the student. He/she takes it personally- if my college isn’t good enough, than how can I be good enough?”</p>
<p>Anyone with any class and manners whatsoever says “Oh, how lovely for him. I hope he enjoys it!” whether the kid is going to East Nowheresville State or Harvard. And if they want to snark, they go home and snark in the privacy of their own home like any decent individual, lol. So if some classless person actually says something snarky to you about your kids’ school, consider the source when you think about how deeply it should affect you. </p>
<p>I’ll admit to not having heard of certain colleges when friends tell me where their kids are going, but I usually just ask how their child came to choose that particular school. Often, I’m so impressed by what I hear that I wonder why I hadn’t heard of the school before. By contrast, when I hear that a kid is applying to 6 of the Ivies, I think to myself, "When does the kid get to figure out what <em>he</em> really wants?</p>
<p>I agree that we should consider the source. High school seniors can feel pretty vulnerable at this time, and they are aware of what colleges are more well known ( and talked about) than others. I think that once they start college and are surrounded by peers at the same college, the peer talking decreases, and they are able to ignore other comments.
When I am at college fairs, if I see a college that I haven’t heard about, I like to talk to the reps and learn about it. I’ve been pleasantly surprised at some of the interesting programs at some of them, and if they are not what my kids are looking for, I can pass the info on to a student who might be interested in it.
In contrast to the " I haven’t heard of that" comment, if a student tells me he or she is attending a not well known school, and I know something interesting about it, I mention it. This way, a student hears some positives too.</p>
<p>Someone we know congratulated S and then admitted that she wasn’t familiar with his school but that she was interested in learning more and was going to look it up on line. S and I thought that was great.</p>
<p>Considering how many colleges and universities there are in the US, and how isolated we tend to be, it’s completely understandable that there are colleges we haven’t heard of. And like other people have said, most of the time when someone says “i haven’t heard of that school.” or “oh, where’s that” it’s because they are genuinely interested, not because they’re trying to be passive aggressive about putting you down. There are those 20 schools that everybody knows (pretty much the US News top 20), but after that people tend to recognize colleges based on geographic location, alumni connections etc. For example, living on the west coast I’ve obviously heard of the California schools (UCs, Stanford, USC), the Ivy league schools, MIT, Hopkins, and the big name football schools. However I hadn’t heard of Amherst, Olin, Sewanee, etc until I visited CC or talked to friends and teachers and I probably would never heard of Georgia Tech without a familial alumni connection. Similarly some people I talk to from the east coast know Cal, LA, and Stanford, but have never heard of Harvey Mudd, Pomona, or CMC. It doesn’t detract from the school, just means that whoever you’re talking to hasn’t been well informed about the school. </p>
<p>@Massmomm What’s wrong with a kid applying to 6 Ivies? I understand that schools have a different feel and whatnot, but sometimes that’s what a kid wants to do. I personally applied to 4 ivies, Hopkins, Stanford, Berkeley, LA, and a few safeties. Most people on this site would claim that I’d been “pushed by parents” into applying to schools that wouldn’t all fit me, but I came up with that list myself because there was something about each school that I admired and I could see myself attending any of the schools on my list. </p>
<p>“There are those 20 schools that everybody knows (pretty much the US News top 20)” Don’t even kid yourself that “everyone knows” the top 20. It’s still mostly regional. </p>
<p>In response to the “I’ve never heard of it” line, I would just say, “Well, we’ve done a lot of research on this choice,” then let it be.</p>
<p>I have never understood the “I’ve never heard of it” comment with regard to anything, honestly. It just betrays self-satisfaction and ignorance. If I have never heard of something before, I make it my business to find out. I don’t make it a point of pride, as if somehow the limit of my knowledge is the valid measure of all things.</p>
<p>My daughter is attending grad school at Simmons in Boston. She got her undergrad at Northeastern. She chose Simmons for a few reasons and has been happy with her choice. She is in a direct entry nurse practitioner program. It may be lesser known than others , but she has had wonderful clinicals at Mass General, Brigham and Women’s, Beth Israel St Elizabeth’s and will soon be back at MGH and Tufts NE Med Ctr….a lot of her training has been hands on and she is loving it !
We live in NJ and when she is asked where she goes, no one has heard of it</p>
<p>There are very few college names that I recognize and I think most people only know the colleges near them. My mom lives in Michigan and hadn’t heard of Georgia Tech until DS decided to go there…</p>
<p>I doubt most people are being snarky. I’ve had a number people tell me that their kid is going to a college that I know nothing about. I usually just ask if they know what they are going to study. However I wouldn’t be surprised if there have been times that I have said “I hadn’t heard of that college before” and then asked where it was located. </p>