<p>I think it would come across differently if people said “huh – I’m not familiar with that school” instead of “I’ve never heard of it.” But I agree with everyone who said it’s a great chance to tell them the great things about the school and why you’re excited about it.</p>
<p>Now how do I handle people when I tell them S is going to College of Charleston and they say “where’s that?”</p>
<p>@kiddie So one of my kids goes to Northwestern, and I do say, “Northwestern, right outside Chicago,” because we are from the East Coast and people tend to “hear” Northeastern.</p>
<p>My other kids went/go to Swarthmore and the comment I get most often about that school is, “Oh, isn’t that an all girls school?” My reply is simply, “No, you’re thinking of Skidmore in upstate NY. And Skidmore went co-ed more than 25 years ago. Swarthmore’s outside Philadelphia and has been co-ed for 150 years.” :)</p>
<p>How about University of Miami and Miami University. I think most people would think they both located in Florida.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>LOL, with barely suppressed laughter while you say slowly and clearly “in Charleston? You know, the one in South Carolina?”</p>
<p>I don’t assume anyone has heard of or knows about my kids’ college. I just hope they would have the grace to be positive about a kid going to college. If I don’t know anything about someone’s school, I usually say something like " Congratulations, - then something like where is it located or what are you going to be studying"
“I’ve never heard of it” has a condescending tone to it.</p>
<p>Miami was a university when Florida still belonged to Spain. </p>
<p><a href=“http://www.duboisbookstore.com/miami/StoreImages/170-882559-1.jpg”>http://www.duboisbookstore.com/miami/StoreImages/170-882559-1.jpg</a></p>
<p>I do college fairs sometimes for Case Western Reserve University which is one of those schools that employers know, even if the general public doesn’t.</p>
<p>read the situation. You could go
“It’s famous for … and is among the elite schools* of the country for …, which is why my kid chose it. We’re very proud, and he got an awesome scholarship to boot, because they have boatloads of money. Do you want me to get you a couple brochures for your kid?”
but depending on the intent, you could go
“Oh, I’m sorry. It’s in the top 10% in the country. So, I guess, err, where did your kid get in? …U?**”</p>
<ul>
<li>even if it’s not, after all, Random Stranger has not heard of it
** naming nearby school</li>
</ul>
<p>Some 15 years ago, when my oldest went to BC, nobody gave a fig about it. When told, some people, knowing that we’re not Catholic, would ask polite questions about the Jesuit culture and how my daughter fit in (it was a non-issue). The most common reaction to BC was simply to note that Boston is a wonderful town for students, and everyone told me that she’d have a great 4 years (she did). </p>
<p>Times have changed. People seem so competitive, defensive, etc. I am beyond proud that my son will be attending Yale next year, but I mostly avoid the conversation (except on anonymous CC) because people respond so strangely (there’s a thread about it on CC). The only neighbor I’ve discussed it with is an alum. </p>
<p>Thanks. This is helpful. And I had forgotten about the ‘smile and nod’ thread. I’ve mostly been doing the tour guide answer: “Yes, it’s in a really beautiful rural area, up on top of a mountain. We’re really looking forward to visiting.”
And I agree, most of the time people just don’t know. There’s only one who I’m pretty sure just wanted to be mean. And I had also forgotten how MANY schools people “have never heard of” – including some pretty fine ones. That does give you some perspective, doesn’t it?<br>
Perhaps the people who wondered where the College of Charleston was had been fooled before – if someone had attended Miami University (of Ohio)!</p>
<p>^or Washington University in St. Louis. </p>
<p>:)
I really think most people just want to know and indication of place + how happy you are is sufficient.
It depends on whether the question is genuine or mean-spirited or smug (and yes some people can be… those, as mentioned upthread, who see colleges their kids get into as part of a competition of sorts stamping their worth as parents relative to yours, for instance.)</p>
<p>Honestly, most people outside cc don’t care a wit about what college your child attends. If they know and like you, they’re just making conversation and will be pleased for your child. When friends say kid is going to a cc, I make comments about what a good choice it is for said kid (financially a good decision, right programs, good place for undecided kids to explore) or ask a question. If people don’t like you or are playing the prestige game, stop talking and walk away. You say, D is going to small college. They say never heard of it. You say, Oh. End of conversation. No question asked. Why do you need to respond at all?</p>
<p>I talked to someone in GA who when finding out my D went to GA Tech asked “where is that”? Some people just aren’t very observant 
</p>
<p>I don’t get why so many people suggest a defensive or mean response.</p>
<p>It further perpetuates what @myos1634 said “part of a competition of sorts” and makes you part of that competition.</p>
<p>I am not in the market for a new car, so when my friend commented that he bought an Equus, my reaction was “what’s that?”. Didn’t realize it was a $60k+ car.</p>
<p>I believe this is an “in time it won’t matter so much” situation. It’s okay to feel a little frustrated, because you’re so proud you want everyone to feel proud with you. I second and third, give a bit more description of where Sewanee
is. Congratulations to your child for this great achievement!</p>
<p>My daughter is going to Pomona College (a local school for her) and in her head she knows it doesn’t matter if people assume she’s going to the similarly named Cal Poly Pomona, but in her heart she does get a little frustrated. And one of my friends said, “Oh, so she’ll transfer after two years to go to a four year college?” Now, if someone asks where she is going to school, I preface it with “one of the Claremont Colleges, Pomona College.” Most people still don’t know about the Claremont Colleges, but I am fully aware I know way too much about colleges. . </p>
<p>@Momzie - There is also a University of Charleston here in Charleston, West Virginia. The daughter of a good friend graduated from Charleston Catholic High School, then went to the College of Charleston in Charleston SC - talk about confusing.
As for never having heard of schools, nobody here has heard of any place but WVU or Marshall (unless it’s a sports powerhouse) so anyone who goes anywhere else has a lot of explaining to do!</p>
<p>While my oldest was still in high school, I responded to people telling me their kids / grandkids were going to Cornell & UPenn with " oh, thats nice".
Which actually is how I respond to reports of attending most any school, unless I have visited it a few times.</p>
<p>Quick side poll: do you think it is in poor taste to mention a merit scholarship when describing a school? For instance,</p>
<p>Busybody Q: So where is your son going to college?
Mommy Z: He won a full tuition scholarship to Millsaps, a liberal arts college in Mississippi.</p>
<p>Many of my friends do this, and my own parents have a couple of times. Haven’t yet decided how I feel about it…</p>
<p>^^^ I think it’s the kind of thing I’d say only after somebody asks me if the school’s giving us a good deal. </p>
<p>That said, <em>I</em> ALWAYS want to know about merit scholarships since I’m chasing them for my own kids. Most of the parents I know are in that same boat and appreciate knowing as much details about merit aid as people are willing to provide. </p>
<p>-signed, Busybody</p>
