<p>Most people (not necessarily your friends or acquaintances) never heard of more than 90% of the liberal arts colleges or small universities that you can name. When I was attending Reed, which is in the SE sector of Portland, OR, a poll was taken in the Portland asking people’s opinion of Reed College. A majority responded that they didn’t know where Reed was located (not even if it was in Portland).</p>
<p>You can’t really address that level of ignorance by a snappy comeback line like “I bet you lost your virginity at Otterbein,” or whatever.</p>
<p>Save your breath. You don’t have to explain or justify to anybody why your child is attending a particular college. </p>
<p>I try not to snark at people I’m talking to. I live in Seattle and am from a small New England state-most people out here haven’t heard of my hometown, what it’s famous for, or whether, in fact, there are more people than cows. I explain nicely. I didn’t know tons about Seattle before I moved here.</p>
<p>The same would go for colleges. When my older D went to a college back there no one here had heard of it. That’s ok. Now my younger one is looking at colleges in the southeast. Our African American friends and family have heard of most of them, others, not so much. I politely explain. Honey vs. vinegar and all that.</p>
<p>“Back in high school, I had never known of schools like Rice or Bryn Mawr or Wellesley until I had friends that went there.”</p>
<p>My D attends Wellesley. Most people have never heard of it, even w the Hillary Clinton connection. So what? Shrug. Think about why it bothers you that your neighbors haven’t heard of your kids’ school. What if, indeed, they go home and say over the dinner table, what an odd choice. How does it impact you in any way? </p>
<p>I admit I have heard the name Sewanee, but don’t know where it is. My son goes to a school many people have heard of but don’t know where it is or confuse it with others that start with the same letter, V. I just say “He goes to Vanderbilt, in Nashville, Tennessee.” and then if they haven’t heard of it, they can ask me about Nashville and how he likes it there, etc. I sometimes change the subject to what he’s studying or what field he wants to go into.</p>
<p>When we visited, my daughter and I took the wrong subway to University of Chicago and ended up in the Southside of Chicago lost and wheeling our suitcases down streets with lots of people milling about freeway overpasses and such. No one knew of or could direct us to the Uni until we finally found a shopkeeper and caught a couple of busses to go just a few miles away.</p>
<p>To THIS day people mix up Penn with Penn State (there used to be a T-shirt- “Not Penn State” way back in the day). I just say, “Penn’s in Philadelphia.” and if needed, I add “it doesn’t have the good football team” Is it tiresome? At times. Do I take offense? They don’t mean to put down Penn, so no.</p>
<p>Anyway, I may recognize the names of many lesser known colleges from reading CC, but I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know much about these schools. Sewanee is a great example. I’ve heard of it and it conjures up a picture of a pretty campus with preppy kids. That’s probably not an accurate picture - it’s certainly an incomplete picture - I created that image just from hearing the name.</p>
<p>I’d appreciate a nice answer and I’d be rather taken aback by snark. What did I do to warrant that? Maybe the person asked because they want to know more about the school.</p>
<p>Because people seem to hear Northwestern when I say Northeastern - I always say “my daughter goes to Northeastern in Boston” So, I endorse the idea of saying “she goes to X college in Y location”</p>
<p>If you want them to like and respect the school, I wouldn’t answer with a snarky answer. There are so many colleges out there that it’s near impossible to know them all - even top schools. I hadn’t heard of any of the three my boys chose - nor a few others they applied to. We’ve politely educated many about the schools and have even had some apply to their schools DUE to being polite and informative. </p>
<p>I work in a public high school and have been here on cc for a few years now (since researching with my oldest - now recently graduated!), so I know of more schools than most, but even then, it seems most years, some student finds a top choice (for them) I hadn’t heard of or maybe just know the name of.</p>
<p>I’ve encountered condescending comments about schools my kids and others have chosen, and I think that people forget that this has an impact on the student. He/she takes it personally- if my college isn’t good enough, than how can I be good enough? When people make condescending comments about my kids’ schools, I don’t even defend it at all- because I don’t think there is anything to defend. My kids are happy with their choices and we are too.If people are curious to know more about it, then they will ask, but often the conversation just stops or moves on to something else.
I like to know something about a college I might not be familiar with, so saying “Sewanee, a liberal arts college in TN” is fine. I learned about Sewanee when one of my kids’ friends attended. She’s a great student, and I know it’s a very good school. Congrats to your son and I hope he will be very happy there. </p>
<p>I was the kid in the small midwestern town who could rattle off the names of all of the Ivies as well as the seven sisters as they were called then. (Yes, I am nerdy like that, no wonder I am on cc). As I became an adult and moved to different parts of the country, I became familiar with lots of other schools via friends, neighbors, or co-workers, etc. Still, up until about 7 or 8 years ago when my oldest was in HS I had never heard of such top schools as Pomona, Tufts, Emery and Williams, among others. So I cut people some slack.</p>
<p>My younger child will be attending a top LAC this fall and I get a lot of blank looks from people. But S is thrilled and over the top excited about going there so that’s all that matters to me </p>
<p>I hadn’t heard of Bowdoin much before my son started his college search so I guess it never occurred to me to be bothered much by the blank stares we usually get. I mean really…unless you have a friend, relative or whoever that went/goes to a school that’s not one of the what? 200 give or take schools that have instant name recognition than their unfamiliarity isn’t an indication of anything really. I can always tell when a parent is miffed when I don’t immediately get big-eyed over their kid’s college of choice. If I don’t like them, sometimes I just pretend to have no idea where they’re talking about. But that’s just me. </p>
<p>What an interesting perspective: assuming that anyone else should know anything about your child’s college. Why would you think that?</p>
<p>Honestly, until my oldest was starting to think about specific colleges (midway through his junior year of high school) I couldn’t have identified even all of the colleges in the state where we live, let alone small LACs in other states. </p>
<p>@Momzie: The more I think about this, the more I think you should just go full Brooklyn hipster and own this. So you tell people, “S is going to Sewanee. It’s a great, little LAC outside of Chattanooga that has really stayed authentic to its intellectual liberal arts heritage and hasn’t been overrun with prestige-seekers. You’ve probably never heard of it.” And then push up your glasses and stroke your (figurative) goatee thoughtfully. </p>
<p>People are just dumb sometimes. And provincial. And some are a bit mean-spirited on top of it all. </p>
<p>It’s funny–I get such different reactions to where my child is attending college based on who I am talking to. I notice a lot more genuine curiosity and less skepticism from people who don’t have college-age kids of their own, or who themselves attended schools that are less well known. There’s a lot more posturing and smugness among those who think others’ choices are about them, or that it’s some kind of competition.</p>
<p>LOL, SOG! That was one of the reasons that D has decided her “match” school is perfect. Her words exactly: “Nobody around here has heard of it, and that makes me feel like a hipster.” :)) </p>
<p>Sawanee (University of the South) is home to the oldest continuously published literary quarterly in the Country, the much respected, 122 year old Sawanee Review. The works of many of the Southern writing tradition’s finest luminaries were published in The SR. Beautiful school. You must be so excited. I’d take this as an opportunity to educate people on what a great school it is. I think it’s true that most people who have never heard of Sewanee are simply admitting their ignorance, and would be glad to hear about this gem of an LAC from you. Try not to be offended.</p>
<p>My D graduated from Bryn Mawr, and I’d estimate a good half of people we mentioned that fact to have never heard of it, either. It doesn’t bother me in the least. I just tell them what a great experience it was for D, how wonderful the school is, and if they seem interested, something about its place among the “seven sisters”. </p>
<p>I don’t know why you need a snappy reply. I doubt they mean anything by it, except, of course, that they never heard of it. I think a polite response might be to tell them where it’s located or how much he likes it or how good a deal they’ve given you or any number of little snippets that will give people something with which to associate the school. That’s the type of reply I expect when I tell somebody I never heard of something. But if I get a rude remark back, I still might not have an impression of the thing I’d never heard of, but I’m pretty sure I’d have a pretty clear impression of the person who made the remark.</p>
<p>When people mention colleges that I never heard of I normally say, “Now, where’s that?” I think that indicates clearly that I never heard of it, but I’ve never considered it a rude question and I don’t think I’ve ever offended anybody by it. I just find in normal discourse it’s better to ask a question instead of making a statement and that’s my way of conveying, “Huh?” so that I can get more information about the school. </p>
<p>It happens with better known schools too. When we were living in Virginia and our son was going to the University of Southern California,we often got the blank stare or people who wanted to know what location of the the University of California that was. </p>
<p>Momzie, you are being way too defensive. I say this in a helpful manner not to be mean. Even here, on CC,you felt a need to immediately tell us it is a really great school and you are all excited about it. </p>
<p>Most people are not mean. I might innocently state I have never heard of a college. My next questions to show interest in their student would be “where is it?” This would lead to some additional questions. </p>
<p>I would feel a bit bad if I people just said “that’s nice” and did not ask any follow up questions.</p>
<p>What response would you prefer if someone has never heard of your kids school?</p>
<p>If most people think I am being rude by stating I have never heard of a college then I guess I just learned something. I will admit to being clueless sometimes…but never with a mean intent. Never.</p>
<p>Most people are nice and have good hearts. </p>
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