@MiamiDAP , then what are you doing on this thread? Your reply had nothing to do with Aspergers kids.
@patsmom I wondered the same thing. Our 24 yr old son is autistic. We have 3 other adult children and 4 younger kids and raising our autistic ds has been absolutely nothing like raising his siblings.
With kids on the spectrum, co-morbid conditions, severity of disability, etc means that each child is different and their needs are uniquely theirs. I can’t even imagine generalizing comments across individuals on the spectrum b/c I know how much variation exists. Our ds’s outcomes are not great if you compare him to @atomom’s ds getting ready to graduate from college. Our ds attended college for 2 yrs but dropped out b/c of severe anxiety. Conversely, he has managed to keep a full-time job for 3 yrs. Compared to a lot of outcomes, that is “success.”
@MiamiDAP don’t you also have a son? Even if much older and not loving at home…your daughter was NOT an only child.
And anyway…what you wrote has nothing to do with kids who are not neuro typical in terms of how they are hard wired.
I agre with the poster upstream. Contact your local,schools…express your concerns…and see what they say. We run social groups for lots of kids where I work.
Friend of mine has a son with Asperger’s. It has been difficult but she discovered he did very well in team sports. It was a release of energy and the best part is there were specific rules and clear direction to follow Just do what the coach says. It was one of the few places he actually made some friends and gained social skills.
Hopefully you’ll find some good resources for your child. My friend had next to zero 10 years ago,
Both my kids are on the spectrum, or as I prefer, have Apergers.
The older one was ok until puberty when he started presenting in a way that was not manageable. It did not interfere with his school and he got all As, so he did a group therapy at school, and then we had a series of therapists that were totally useless. At 18, he sees a teen counsellor once a week who gives him social “assignments” each week. That seems to be working.
The 16 y/o was diagnosed at 5. Tho he did fine in school, he was unteachable. After a few very expensive useless psychiatrists, We got him diagnosed and he was sent to an Aspergers PDD program embedded in another district for 5 years. It was an incredible change because social skills/behavioral therapy is embedded into the classroom day, the teachers and therapists are trained for this purpose and are there all day re-in forcing it, which is what the kids need to learn these things. I don’t think it is something we could have done separately. We did try. Not much out there.
It depends on where your child is on the scale. If he is young and more like my youngest, I suggest trying to get him placed outside your school. At least investigate it, even if you think it is not that “bad”, bc it may get worse if left unaddressed.
I can honestly say I was not equipped for this. And frankly, after enough research and experience to write a book, I am no better prepared, as you can see from the lack of great advice I have for you. They are all so different. Many times they do require an all day every day approach. Had I not been all wrapped up in the younger, I might have recognized the older’s issues sooner…
You can’t do the wrong thing here. You can’t do the right thing. The important thing is to keep doing.
Good luck!
Why do you prefer the term Aspergers?
I like the term Aspergers because even though I don’t have a child with it I have learned its symptoms (via my friend). Now Aspergers is grouped under the general term of autistic which isn’t descriptive in the least to me since the range of symptoms is very wide from completely disabled to highly functional.
@gouf78 I actually dislike the term Aspergers for the exact same reason. I get tired of the comments by outsiders that all Aspies are really just geeky engineers or absent-minded professor types (b/c they know the people they work with have to be undiagnosed Aspies). My ds does have the label Aspergers, has a high IQ, but, even though high functioning, he is disabled by it. He is 24 and is no where close to being able to live independently. He is crippled by his co-morbid issues (especially his anxiety and OCD behaviors.) His executive functions are equally impacted.
The label Aspergers has a broad range of impact as well.
I think I’ve been to half a dozen CEU courses on Aspie kids. One speaker ran a clinic in Pittsburgh. Kids could come for 3 intensive weeks, minimum. They had a variation of rooms, from Spartan to dark, little stimulation, etc. over a weekend, he described the range of environments that worked for the variety of kids. They were situated in woods, which also provided relief.
There really are experts in this field. They understand the variation and the tools.
Each person can choose their term. Others without a vested interest don’t get to tell us what to call it.
Please focus on the OP issue. They need advice.