Some Parents...

Parent Cafe
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<p>Yesterday D2 (9th grade) was sitting in the hall after school doing homework on her school-issued laptop. The parent of another girl in her grade stopped to talk to her, and asked what grade D got on a group assignment that this woman’s daughter had also worked on. D said she didn’t recall, feeling it was none of this woman’s business. The woman asked D to open up her school grade account on the computer and check. D didn’t want to be rude to a parent, so she did and told the woman her grade. Apparently the woman felt her child had done more work than the rest of the group on the project, so deserved a higher grade than the rest.</p>

<p>I mentioned this to the teacher in the class (we had conferences last night, and the incident happened yesterday), and the teacher knew immediately which parent had done this. So I am guessing the parent has taken the argument about the grade to the teacher. As far as I could tell from the teacher’s reaction, she is not going to change anyone’s grade, but the teacher did not say much (but I could tell she was annoyed, and said that the parent should not have asked my D for grade info). </p>

<p>D has been given a pep talk on the privacy of grade info, and that she would have been okay politely refusing the request. We talked it over, and agreed there are very few instances when that type of request would be okay (maybe from a teacher or administrator who didn’t have their computer there when they were discussing grades or something - - couldn’t think of too many more instances.).</p>

<p>I guess that is the end of the incident, as this is a small school and I don’t want to push an argument with another parent we have to live with for a few more years. But the nerve of some people…</p>

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<p>Oh yeah – we have several acquaintances who pumped my child for years about grades and so on – the kicker was when someone’s grandmother (a frequent offender) told her grandchild where my child was applying to college – so of course the grandchild applied there, too, but was not accepted. Poetic justice?</p>

<p>Your D’s mantra: “My parents told me not to discuss my grades with other people.”</p>

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<p>This woman behaved inapproprietly and have used your D. This is something that I need to work with my D all the time - ability to stand up for yourself and go with her personal feelings instead of pleasing others. I also tell her to try not to refer to her parents but show that she is strong on her own. I would suggest to my D to tell person like this: " I do not discuss my grades with other people". If woman insist, then she just need to repeat the same, until another person gets. If she gives in, it sets undesirable precedence, that it is OK to bother her with personal questions. As I said, I have very similar problem, it seems that some girls are so afraid to offend.</p>

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<p>I told her to either say that she prefers not to share her grade information with anyone, or to tell the woman to ask the teacher if she felt she had to have this information :slight_smile: I know the teachers at our school would not oblige! And even this pushy woman would probably know better than to ask them.</p>