Each kid is so different. As a parent, It’s hard to sit on the sidelines and watch when you know you can lend life experience to at least shape discussions. Fine line between helping them explore and guiding them to a predetermined path of M&Ds choosing. Probably guilty of that and am trying to step back. My two kids are very different.
D, the younger one, is one of two people I’ve known closely who knew what they wanted to do from a very young age and never veered off that mission (The other one is a kid who is fulfilling his life dream of flying jets in the Air Force). She’s a musical theater kid and is all in. No guidance there. Couldn’t get her to change if I wanted to, and I don’t!
S is more traditional. Great student, team mate, leader, etc. Lots of friends. Great with math, problem solving, analytical thinking and people skills (unusual combination). Teachers, coaches, parents of friends have always commented that he’s “That kid” and wish they had 10 more. Has an unusually mature acumen. Being in business, I’ve always shared ideas with him and sort of prompted him “You’d be great at this or that”. 30 yrs of owning a business, I see what he can be. So, that has lead to a business discipline (Finance) where he will seek client facing roles. I know he’ll be good a that. I hope he actually likes it. I hope he’s not just doing what he thinks I want because I don’t really care what he does provided he’s self sufficient and happy. He’s never expressed wanting to do something else. Fortunately, he does seem very interested and excited when he talks to kids who have started their journey.
From the time I was little my parents tod me, “You will grow up, go to college, work for a year, get married and be whatever you want to be except a teacher.” Ok, all my high school jobs were tutoring or teaching after school programs. I went to college and double majored in electrical engineering and math, tutoring all the time and eventually gaining a full scholarship for a student interested in teaching math. I graduated became an engineer at an oil company (hated it) and then for the last 34 years at NASA. I taught math part time at CC for awhile and still tutor. Not a bad situation but in my heart I know I would have been happier as a math teacher.
I told my kids they could be anything they wanted but have a financial plan to support yourself. D is still lost but a lot of mental illness concerns. S shocked us all coming home one day in 8th grade telling us he wanted to be an equine surgeon. He starts vet school in one more year!
Growing up I was told I would get a college degree, but given little/no career guidance. The only women I knew who had gone to college were teachers and nurses. I knew of a few women who were doctors/dentists and none of the above appealed to me. My dad was an engineer but that was never suggested as an option even though I was always good at math. I was also good at science so I started out at local CC in pre-pharmacy then changed to medical technology. When I transferred to a university I was amazed to have friends/sorority sisters majoring in engineering, finance and accounting as well as things I had never heard of such as economics, social sciences, speech pathology. Yes, I had that little career guidance! I ended up disliking the medical lab and going back to school in accounting (got my CPA) and love it.
My own kids were never told what the should/could major in. Both are great in math (S attended a select math/science/tech magnet school) but neither were pushed that way (BTW - H is an engineer). D majored in english and worked for a major publishing house before leaving to pursue an MBA full time. S majored in International studies and works for a “Big 4” in consulting. They did just fine majoring in non science/tech fields that so many with their math skills are pushed into these days.
Note that spending habits have a big effect on which career paths are financially realistic. Someone who can live comfortably on $20k per year will have more financially realistic career options than someone who “needs” $200k per year to live comfortably.
@ucbalumnus. So I just called my 90 year old mother. She said that no question she pushed Doctor, lawyer, Dentist, Accountant since these were areas of good paying jobs and owning your own business. She said she did know someone at IIT that was going for an mechanical engineering and working at Ford (we lived in Detroit at that time but she was born in Chicago). She thought that that was more of being a mechanic and working on cars. Also at Nasa she deemed the engineers there as scientist. She didn’t know much about engineering.
So that’s the story and I am sticking to it. Lol…
^ I knew engineering was a thing in the '60’s but possibly only because my Dad was one. Every single one of the engineers he worked with were men. Never crossed my mind.
Plenty of mechanical, civil, aeronautical and electrical engineers (and many others I’m sure) back then. Dad and FIL were both, aero and mechanical respectively. FIL had a long career designing missile systems for Lockheed. Dad morphed into project management and worked in the nuclear power industry for many yrs, than the Big DIg in Boston (no it wasn’t his fault!). An aside - they both didn’t know what to make of me when I started in broadcasting and the moved over to a world of sales.
@ucbalumnus exactly! My D is happy to live very frugally in a low COL part of the country while my son has expensive taste and wants to live in a nice home and travel… Their financial plans are very different.
I don’t think anyone can argue that women had equal footing in the sciences back in the early 60s when my grandpa encouraged my mom to head that route. I wish I could talk with him now, but he’s been gone many years. He was never all that social with us grandkids, but I always enjoyed helping him in the morning with the cows when we visited (dairy farmer and I’m a natural morning and animal person).
Interestingly enough, I came across mom’s final college transcript. She did better in the science/math and teaching related course than she did in most of her music courses! Straight As in the former. Only a few As in the latter with most grades being a B and a few in the C or D range.
I’m a math/science person. Perhaps I did inherit that from her. I certainly didn’t inherit much musical talent. I know I inherited her natural teaching ability, though dad was a good teacher too (also instrumental music) so perhaps I’m homozygous for the teaching gene…