somebody help..!!!!!!

Parent Cafe
1

<p>omigod.
I have this huge delimma with my teacher (for anom.'s sake i won’t mention which one)
OK, so here is what happened. Basically, with extracurriculars and what else, I have been really, really busy lately. Once my teacher found out about it, she told me that i was stressed (accusingly) and said that i needed to stop dong so much stuff. NOw, once i even had to cram in a week’s worth of science material in one day, and this is hard material. I pulled an overnighter and totally understood EVERYTHING. HOwever, for personal reasons, something bad happened that morning, and i was so messed up that i did not o very wel at all on the test, got a D. NOw, I usually get B’s on tests, and everything else (homework, etc) is great. However, i hve ha this teacher for two years and she knowns that i have bad handwriting. so this all pilled up today, and this is what happened.
Today, we were doing a lab. about half the class didn’t understand the lab. So, I went up to her and decided to ask her. You know what she said??
she SHOUTED THAT I NEEDED TO START READING THE BOOK AND STOP SLOPPING STUFF DOWN, AND THAT IF I ONLY READ THE BOOK, THEN I WOULD NOT NEED HELP. NOW, SHE SHOUTED TO ME IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS. btw, she has called me stubborn after i tried asking her questions. </p>

<p>and what’s more, I have a grade that is right on the edge. We are not doing fianls (we are doing a final project), and so i am scared that something bad will happen. By that i mean that in my school, it’s pretty much common practice among my teachers to give either an A- or a B+ for, say, 89.9% or 89%. (PLEASE DON"T BUG ME ABOUT THiS) SO, she will give the hard working students with those grades an A-, and the lazy ones a B+. </p>

<p>I am SO AFRAID THAT she will see me as one of those lazy students and give me that grade (B+). For important purposes, i really need a A- in that class. Please, please do not say that a B+ is not the end of the world, I KNOW THAT but for once, It’s about the wrong judgments of a science teacher that have cuased me so much mental anguish that i DON’T DESERVE.</p>

<p>Of course, i really want to talk to her about this, but i’m afraid that she will just think that i am a stubborn, stupid girl for making up excuses. If you try to talk to her, she will just try to poke “fun” at me. I’m crying right now, it’s just so unfair that i will get a grade based on how much she LIKES ME. If i talk to her, she will just say that i’ve done so much stuff, she really believes that I am stubborn and won’t admit mistakes. I don’t know what to do. </p>

<p>o, and one thing: she HATES HER JOB. she even said so.</p>

<p>THis world is so unfair. Is it even possible to try ad get through to her as a HUMAN??? CC parents, what would you do if this happened to your kid?</p>

<p>I have been on CC for three years and this is the first time i have felt the need to do this. Again, for anoum’s sake i am posting under a different CC name.</p>

2

<p>Chill for a minute. Catch your breath and resend your letter, it is so hard to follow, I can’t figure out where to start. i understand your frustration, believe me, my D has a similar teacher, but, we need something to work with here.</p>

<p>So, type it again, slower and clearer. We want to help, but neeed some clarity.</p>

3

<p>Here’s the situation:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>You are doing your best to accomplish many tasks. </p></li>
<li><p>Still, sometimes, despite your best efforts, you fail to achieve your goal (test score, teacher admiration etc).</p></li>
</ol>

<p>This is an all too common problem for many adults–especially parents. So…take a deep breath and try not to jump to hurt feelings while you analyze what’s happened.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Your teacher has criticized your performance. She has indicated she is not impressed. </p></li>
<li><p>Instead of taking her criticism on board and analyzing it, you have allowed the criticism to hurt your feelings–paritally because it was not delievered with much tact. Oh well, that happens. Sounds as if the teacher is also trying to do too many things in too little time. Oftentimes, we react most violently when someone else’s problem reminds us of our own deficiencies. Perhaps you remind the teacher of herself?</p></li>
</ol>

<p>So…take another deep breath. How can you defuse the situation so that you can be graded objectively?</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Don’t sit around and nash your teeth. Be proactive. Consdier what she said. There is some truth in it, isn’t there? Disregard what isn’t true and concentrate on the parts she got right. You are too busy? Your performance has slipped? Does that mean you don’t care about her class? Probably not.</p></li>
<li><p>My advice would be three fold:</p></li>
</ol>

<p>a) Apologize and explain that you DO care about her class–despite impressions to the contrary. Tell her how busy you have been and what circumstances have dogged your best efforts.</p>

<p>Before you get wound up about who is at fault, try the wonder of ‘apology’ on for size. Watch how your apology defuses the crisis. Apologies work, they really works.</p>

<p>b) Ask her advice on how you can better manage your time and tasks. Asking an angry person for advice is the best way to open up a conflicted relationship. Keep yourself open to her responses.</p>

<p>c) after you’ve given points A and B a goodly amount of time a conversation–ask for her advice on how to improve your grade in her class. </p>

<p>Finally, in the future, when you get stung be personal criticism, try to take those deep breaths that will give you space enough to evaluate and analyze what’s really being said.</p>

<p>Usually, it is interesting and helpful information.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

4

<p>I agree with cheers - good advice. Both my S and D have had the same teacher (he teaches chemistry and physics). He’s relatively new, not a good teacher, doesn’t know the material, and doesn’t do well communicating/teaching it. And he’s not nice. My son - who doesn’t suffer fools easily - got in the habit of showing up the teacher by asking him questions that the teacher couldn’t answer. I truly believe that my son understood more about physics than the teacher. But not a good idea to do anything to show him up. My son ended up with an A in the class overall and an A on the final - but the teacher still put nasty comments on his report card. My daughter (younger) seems to have caught some stuff from the teach because she has the same last name - she’s suffering and trying to learn. Unfortunately this is a public high school, very difficult as a parent to do anything while your kids are still in school.<br>
Bottom-line - follow cheers’s advice - but recognize that this is life - you’re bound to run into teachers, professors, employers, sergeants, officers - who are difficult and you just have to live with for a short while. Relax and do the best you can. And try to minimize the “bad things happening” that you reference in your message.</p>