<p>Enjoy. Never leave an SAT tutor with a laptop and free time. Here’s why…</p>
<p>The Raven takes the SAT</p>
<p>Once upon a 'Sat morn dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
over many a white-washed page of testing, eyes so very sore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a slapping,
as if my neighbor rudely rapping, rapping as I 'voked a snore;
“The test is starting” proctor mumbled, thus began my dreadful chore,
The worst shall come - to see my score. </p>
<p>Ah, distinctly I remember, it was no longer safe September,
Now October reared its ugly head, to test my logic core
I scanned it rather quickly, my stomach went dour and sickly,
An essay prompt 'bout people, and their wondrous, bloody chore,
Mention cooking; mention sewing; mention all the trials and war;
The worst shall come, my retched score. </p>
<p>While the proctor sat there reading, in my head my brain was kneading,
turning over possibilities, great writing flowed galore;
As my pencil began scratching, twas the theme it was now catching,
turning concept into grammar like it never had before.
Yapping loudly 'cross the classroom - she spoke “simply 5 short minutes more!”
what shall it be? My essay score?</p>
<p>Presently my soul grew stronger, 'twas but 3 more hours longer;
section two was mathematics, section three a grammar bore;
As my calc done doth the adding, my heart slowly began gladding
as I counted a room’s padding, measur’d ten by twenty-four.
count the blocks I told myself, only this, and nothing more.
Said the proctor, “Section Four!”</p>
<p>Deep down the page a-peering, as my classmates sat there sneering,
flipping to and fro in search of answers, ne’r here found a-fore,
Attacking questions with no season, surely this was testing treason!
I began to feel a warmth, a heat, my soul swelled with sudden sure,
I worked the answers, worked the questions that were waiting there galore,
Quoth the proctor, “we’ve just five more!”</p>
<p>Lay before me was now reading, and my brain a-started pleading,
read the question! read the logic! read to find the plutonian core!
As I eliminated lexis, crossed off wrong Shanghai and Texas,
remain’d the one word left twas nexus, which must be the answer sure,
I had nixed words one through four, only left, this answer sure,
Was I right? Was this the score?</p>
<p>Open here I found sec six, grammar sentences doth mix,
with some verb use and some plurals I had never seen before;
I used my ear, but just a little, as my brain started to piddle;
and I checked for verb agreement as I had in tests of yore,
let me check for idiom usage, lest the reader grow a-bore
I had done it; enhanced my score. </p>
<p>Math reared its ugly head again, a section length of two times ten;
asking for the total monies spent at a local hardware store;
I was adding with much care; not a dot or space to spare
checking twice my mathematics; surely two and two are four;
not to risk the careless error, verifying once and more;
what is the number? What is my score?</p>
<p>When the final bell had tolled, I felt ungainly, I felt old
I had worked my brain and pencil as I never had before.
Working problem after problem, never smiling; never solemn,
I had lasted through the doldrum I felt my breath at once restore
I had completed all the hours, all of them - one through four.
The time hast come; await my score. </p>
<p>For the mail I waited true, for what else was I to do?
I have known no other tension; not like this for certain sure.
As the mailman slowly smiled, I bounced up like a small young child,
surely the envelope he carried would my future now secure.
I fell prostrate to the pavement, I could not brave the retched score.
The envelope stayed sealed; forevermore. </p>
<p>But my father tore it asunder, then his smile as loud as thunder
as he clapped me on the back like he had never done before.
My mother sat there beaming and my sister started screaming
screaming WOW! and HOLY CRAP! as they sat reading out the score,
of the hundreds that were out there, out of hundreds I implore;
I had scored all twenty-four.</p>
Poe would be proud.</p>