<p>Suspect OP may be very busy for or some time, sorting out things from the past 36 hours and may not be posting for a while. </p>
<p>OP should not come back! I know she posted the night of, she was upset, looking for support. But she should not not not come back here and answer any questions or post any details about what happened. That might entertain us, as onlookers, but it can in no way shape or form help her son. </p>
<p>AA? </p>
<p>I think people on this post are losing their minds. </p>
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<p>Right, because teenaged kids drinking is clearly a deviation from the norm.</p>
<p>Drunk driving is not a norm in most families and it IS very serious, whether or not all want to treat it that way. Having too much to drink and walking and stumbling home is quite different from operating a vehicle while impaired, driving on someone’s lawn and hitting a light post. Under the latter scenario, unclear what else may have been hit, even without the knowledge of the operator and passengers. </p>
<p>Personally, what happened is between OP and her family (and any attorney they choose). I wish her well and hope important lessons are learned while they move forward. </p>
<p>I know a young man who got several citations when he was a minor/young adult. They involved alcohol. This record has dogged him and made it impossible for him to get hired at many of the places he has applied, once they do background checks (several jobs were all set to hire him but had to turn him down once they got background check results). Have urged the young man and his dad to try to get the record expunged with an attorney, but they aren’t having much success on this. </p>
<p>To me hiring an attorney to help prevent getting a permanent criminal record that will mar future employability is VERY important. </p>
<p>FWIW, I have read the same articles that suggest that people are involved in drunk driving much more times than they are caught. I also had many, many repeated drunk drivers in my courtroom. AA and other similar interventions seem better sooner than later–too little too late. </p>
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<p>No one in this topic knows if drunk driving was involved in this story in any way. We know someone was drunk, we know someone was driving a car, no one here can connect the two. </p>
<p>I said POSSIBLY. HiMom is right-while MANY kids drink underage, it’s not common for two kids in the same family to drive drunk, get into accidents and leave the scene. It’s really not. I’m not sure if this is true or not, but I’ve read that when a person is caught driving drunk, chances are that they’ve been drunk driving many more times and just were not caught. I recall a thread where a HS senior got caught driving drunk after prom and many of the posters said something along those lines, not believing that the kid was telling the truth about never having done it before. </p>
<p>I don’t KNOW that this family has a problem with alcohol, but two kids in 2 years driving drunk and crashing cars is enough to make me uncomfortable. This isn’t the end of the world but if <em>I</em> were a parent in that household I would wonder what these kids were picking up on or dealing with that led them to act as they have. I’m no expert but part of my job is researching things for my boss-alcohol use was one of the topics. Again I say, Himom is right, at least based on what I’ve found in my research. </p>
<p>Even the OP is suspicious about a the existence of a mysterious unknown girl who drove him home apparently followed by another car and then quickly exited the scene. Now, we have a bunch of witnesses.</p>
<p>That’s hard to believe and his refusal to identify her even to his mom makes it harder.</p>
<p>We don’t know whether drunk driving was involved. But we have a driver who in the middle of the night swerved onto someone’s lawn, floored it, hit a light pole and drove away. Bayesian reasoning here tells me they were more likely drunk than sober.</p>
<p>Well, we know he was drunk. He denies he was driving and is blaming mystery girl.</p>
<p>I am VERY skeptical about the mystery girl and here’s why: when my younger sister was a new driver she was allowed to take the family car to school one day. After school he offered a friend a ride home and when dropping her friend off, backed into the neighbor’s fence, damaging it slightly. Scared, she drove home and didn’t say anything. Neighbor called out her friend, who threw her under the bus so fast we got a call from the neighbor about the fence almost at the same time my sister got home. Sister insisted she’d let her friend drive Dad’s car because her friend knew the way better. Many back and forth phone calls later, my sister had to admit that yes, SHE had been driving and backed into the fence. </p>
<p>It’s like when little kids get caught eating a cookie they’re not supposed to have. They somehow think they’ll get in less trouble lying despite it being obvious they ARE lying. For some reason young drivers think it’s better to blame mystery friends than to admit what accident investigation and witnesses might say to the contrary.</p>
<p>Even if the S was NOT driving, it was his vehicle and he was responsible for whom he allowed to operate it. His allowing an obviously unfit driver to operate it is also NOT OK. (I consider driving on someone’s lawn and hitting a light post unfit.) whether the person was unfit because of drugs, alcohol, inexperience, or just awful driver, S was still responsible because it was “his” vehicle and the law makes HIM responsible. The mystery girl (if she exists) may bear some responsibility as well, but S is still on the hook for whom he entrusted vehicle to. </p>
<p>If the son is going to take financial responsibility for all damages it really doesn’t make any difference whether or not he was driving. It cannot be proven that he drove drunk, so long as he doesn’t tell police he drove drunk, that’s the end of that. There’s no reason to divulge the name of the driver if he’s not looking for her to pay for the damages. </p>
<p>Depends what the neighbors saw, though. They saw his truck. They could easily have seen who was driving, as well. Or, how many people were inside. Or if there was another vehicle close behind to give the mystery girl a ride home.</p>
<p>It may be the end of it but the OP said police were unhappy with his answers. So, it may not.</p>
<p>Whether or not this particular incident has resolved, it is important to impress upon our young drivers that when they are entrusted with a vehicle, THEY are responsible for anyone they allow to operate such vehicles and any damage or harm resulting from such operation. By law, the person on title to said vehicles is ALSO legally responsible. This is something young (and some older) minds don’t readily consider, as they just feel the vehicle is a tool and don’t REALLY contemplate the financial and legal obligations flowing from vehicles. </p>
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<p>Unless the neighbor saw a breathalyzer result showing the driver was above .08, nothing he saw can make a case for drunk driving. At worst, leaving the scene of an accident. That’s it. </p>
<p>Well, that’s plenty. And, OP said he was drunk and sleepy when the cops came the house, So, sure maybe he came home and got drunk after hitting the light pole. Legally is one thing. Reality is another. </p>
<p>A couple of years ago I ran into the grocery store near my house, leaving my brand new car parked correctly in the lot. I wasn’t gone 15 minutes and when I came out, saw two women and a cop standing next to my car. The women explained that another car had driven into the space next to mine but continued up onto the strip planted with bushes in front of the spaces. In jockeying off the strip, he’d badly scraped my car and realizing what he’d done, sped off. They said he’d “acted drunk”. Sound familiar?</p>
<p>Turns out the women took photos of the car with their cell phones and called police. The guy was found at his home, so no breathalyzer but he WAS charged with reckless driving and he HAD been drinking.He did have to pay for my repairs (or rather, his insurance did). As flossy says, reality is another thing, and I’m sure the cops in the OP’s case know more than they’re letting on.</p>
<p>Why is this so complicated? Because the kid has an easily challenged story, claiming or not claiming someone else was driving… And the implication he thinks this can just be washed away by taking the truck to some tire guy before Dad gets home. </p>
<p>And many of us are remembering the former thread and wondering what lesson was learned by the family, in that interim. Waiting for him to sleep it off makes him sound mighty incapacitated- especially if he wasn’t much better two hours later. </p>
<p>This may have caused minor damage to the pole, inconsequential. Or he could have left it wobbling. And it could be aggravating damage to the yard. But we do know his talk with the officer was flaky, at best. That was a decision.</p>
<p>If he had told proper details, there wouldn’t be all this mess. He’s not the first to wobble off the road, tear up some yard and hit a pole. It happens. Maybe something in the road distracted the driver, that happens. Maybe they have the truck properly repaired without insurance. Maybe they talk to the neighbor and have the lawn restored. That happens.</p>
<p>Once police showed up, the game changed. His options narrowed. That’s not the neighbor’s fault. He could have told the police a straight story. (Could the police tell he was still drunk?) Then it could have been as simple as filing the reports, calling insurance and taking responsibility. </p>
<p>I wouldn’t want my kids to say they were drunk- all he had to do was say they had a designated driver,if that’s the truth. or describe the accident, if he was driving. Our report didn’t say D1’s friend was drunk, (she was.) It said D1 was the designated driver, after a party. She got a point on her record and our insurance did not go up. We didn’t need an attorney. </p>
<p>And we didn’t assume what’s required and etc or go on what some friend in another state experienced. I looked up our state’s regs on reporting. And whether this involved a no fault payoff or whatever. The insurer, btw, was over and above what I expected, in terms of explaining and guiding. Their only repeated concern was, are you certain no one was injured.</p>
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<p>From your own description of this, it sounds like your sister was the one who threw her friend under the bus, not the other way around. If I understand that phrase correctly, it means sacrificing someone else who is not deserving of such, for the purpose of personal gain or vindictiveness. </p>
<p>I think most of us have lied at some point in our lives to save our hides. I know I have, which I don’t say with any pride. Hopefully the OP’s son learns a big lesson from this, in terms of financial costs and the realization of how much worse this could have been.</p>