<p>My son is driving me crazy with this. He has held jobs and always been on time and a good employee. For some reason he is missing work. Not only is he missing many times he just doesn’t show up. </p>
<p>I know I should just let him suffer the consequences but it makes me so mad that he is being so irresponsible.</p>
<p>Is the work-study schedule conflicting with class or something?
Second thought as a mom: is he skipping classes, too?</p>
<p>Is he a freshman? It seems not uncommon for freshmen (particularly males) to screw up the first semester, still the second semester although somewhat less, and get their bearings better by sophomre year. </p>
<p>They are suddenly thrust onto Pleasure Island when they first go away to college. A world of peers and virtually no adults outside the classroom. They stay up all night – some drink too much, some play video games too much, they’re prowling for girls – you get the picture. Missing work, missing class, sleeping through alarm clocks or in the middle of the day just to catch up… it’s all part of making that transition. Obviously some kids stay on the rails, some utterly and completely fall off, but many end up somewhere between the two for awhile. It’s really not unusual. Doesn’t make it any easier to accept as a parent, especially at first.</p>
<p>Later on they will get somewhat better about it, and you will let go and let them lead their own life and make their own mistakes. Strange process it is, though.</p>
<p>Do you think that once he gets hit with student loans because he hasn’t done enough work-study to pay for school, he’ll get serious about it? Maybe that will be his wake-up call.</p>
<p>I’d be pulling my hair out in your situation. Heck, in a year maybe I’ll be in your situation. Sympathy to you.</p>
<p>Is the work-study job supposed to supply his spending money? If so, I’d let it go, and when he doesn’t have money to do fun things, well, it seems to me that’s a natural consequence of not going to work – no money!</p>
<p>My son is supposed to have work-study, but didn’t find a job this semester (didn’t look, didn’t apply…). I had supplied him with some cash – not much, but some – as an initial deposit for the new bank account, but the rest of his spending money, he’s supposed to earn. If he doesn’t, well, I guess he won’t have any spending money!</p>
<p>I don’t think S is skipping a lot of classes. I know that he overslept a couple of times but otherwise I think he makes class on time. He usually goes out on the weekends but during the week he pretty much studies and plays on the computer. </p>
<p>He is a young student not quite 18 yet and has spent all his years with me doing everything. The thing is work-study is part of the school financial aid so he has to do it or not only does he not get paid but some of his grant FA will be taken away. I think if he chooses not to work we would have to pay an extra $2000. The work study for the year is a total of $1500 but if you decline it they take away part of the grant money. I guess this is the money that is part of the COA that would cover books or whatever so maybe he doesn’t need it. We pay for his books. I do think having a job 8 hours a week is good and will give him some responsibility.</p>
<p>As far as needing the money he doesn’t really need it for daily expenses. He has money left from the summer and he only spends about $50 a month.</p>
<p>Right now I think he is just a lazy teenager without Mom around to “boss” him around.</p>
<p>Sorry this is so jumbled it’s late and I’m slightly irritated w/S.</p>
<p>I work at a university & I get very upset when work study students do not show up. We do not hire them for their looks … we actually have work for them. When they don’t show up, work does not get done. Please explain to your son that his work study job is a JOB. He needs to begin treating it as such. I know all about what it’s like to be a freshman (been there & had my own rude awakening many years ago) - but he needs to either show up or quit so that he can be replaced with someone reliable. Tell him it’s time to grow up or give it up. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but it’s really pretty simple. If he doesn’t want to do what is expected, he needs to quit.</p>
<p>This is a problem with young people generally, certainly not just college students. I work in manufacturing, and it’s appalling the number of kids I hire who just stop showing up because they don’t care for the work. Not a word, not a call. They’re just gone one day. I’ve had a few even fail to come back from breaks. It’s frustrating and makes me a bit sad for our culture.</p>
<p>I bring culture into it because it’s white and black kids alike who do this, but I also have numerous Laotian and Hispanic immigrants working for me who are positively brilliant workers. Not that they’re smarter or better-educated, but they just show up when they’re supposed to and take pride in their work. The people who are born here, not so much.</p>
<p>DebateMom, I think it might be a good idea to call the financial aid office and find out for sure what effect, if any, there would be if your son did not fulfill his workstudy expectation. If there will be some direct effect on his financial aid, or on your expected contribution, then you’ll have the information you need to tell him this is NOT optional.</p>
<p>If it’s just a matter of him feeling like he doesn’t need to earn as much for personal expenses, etc., as the college budgeted in his COA, then that’s different – and pretty much is his call, in my opinion.</p>
<p>At my son’s college they expect him to earn his entire “personal expenses” budget (according to their COA formula) through his workstudy earnings. We pay our share to the college, pay for his travel home twice a year, and buy his books. We do not give him any other money. He pays for his own cell phone, any eating out… everything.</p>
<p>He is expected to pay the college about $2000 each year from summer earnings. We hold him to that.</p>
<p>So whatever he earns over the summer above that $2000, is his money so when he returns to college in the fall, he has a little bit in his bank account already. Honestly, he spends so little that he doesn’t need to earn as much as the college budgets for him.</p>
<p>The college awards him workstudy equivelant to about 8 hours a week. He’s choosing to work for only four, and that’s enough for him. He didn’t earn nearly as much as his workstudy award would have allowed last year either, but that didn’t change that he was awarded the same initial amount this year, nor did it affect his financial aid in any other way.</p>
<p>So if your son just doesn’t need it, and doesn’t want to work that much, and it has no other effect other than reducing the amount of spending money he has coming in, than it’s probably not really a problem as far as that goes.</p>
<p>However, I totally agree with Kelsmom, it’s completely irresponsible of him to not make arrangements with his supervisor to work reduced hours, or else find another job where he can.</p>
<p>He may feel he can’t do justice to his academic work and work-study job at the same time.</p>
<p>I know my parents both worked in college. My mom worked in the dining hall, blah, blah, blah.</p>
<p>I attended state u on my own dime but did not do work study. My parents were very annoyed, and also thought working would be good for me.</p>
<p>Their graduating CUM’s? Around 3.0. Mine? 3.9. They thought that ridiculous and saw no need for such an obsessive attention to school work. To me, that’s what I was there for, and I went on to earn a PhD. I really couldn’t have worked and spent the time I did on school work.</p>
<p>Eight hours may be too much. Perhaps six?</p>
<p>My S was also an under 18 freshman with work/study. He didn’t get a job until his sophomore year. Then he was (and now is ) quite diligent about work.</p>
<p>DD also had work study. She worked devotedly every semester, but she also did not have the kind of grades I wanted. Good grades, but not those grades.</p>
<p>Difference people have different priorities. </p>
<p>It may not be an academic challenge; it may be an emotional challenge.</p>
<p>Talk to him. If he says school work is too demanding, maybe job could be cut by two hours a week.</p>
<p>If that’s not it, and he’s just irresponsibility (or doesn’t yet have his sea legs) you can evaluate how important the money is to your family and decide on a course of action from there.</p>
<p>If a kid is doing his/her work with dedication and the money wasn’t needed, I would tell the kid to leave the job.</p>
<p>If the money is needed, then obviously you have to impress upon your son that he needs to step up.</p>
<p>Let him suffer the consequences of his choices. Do not bail him out with spending money and if he loses grant money, make him a “loan” if you want, but don’t excuse it.</p>
<p>Son was telling me one of the guys in his suite got in this weird schedule of staying up way too late, partying, always needing to catch up and then procrastinating some more. He then started sleeping through the day and miss class as well. They finally had an intervention to try to save the nice guy from himself. It’s vastly improved of late.</p>
<p>Curious though… how are you getting all this information that he is missing work? Do you have access to all his school info? Not saying this is necessarily a “bad” thing, but it might give a hint as to why he is trying to exert some control in his life. Even if it’s negative.</p>
<p>Wow, I wouldn’t even know if one of my kids went to their job or not. How would you find that out? I can’t imagine your son telling you… I would be beside myself too but I’m not sure what you can do other then explain the financial situation to him as the other posters have suggested.</p>
<p>Depending on his major and courseload, 8 hours/wk may actually be too much - even though it doesn’t sound like a lot. (My d worked around 6 her first year) Also, freshman don’t always get a good choice of shifts, b/c there can be a seniority system in place, even for low level jobs. His work shifts may look good on paper, but there may be other scheduling/logistical issues that aren’t so appparent, or didn’t become evident until the semester got going. This semester, the 1 hour TA office hour for my D’s very hard class is right in the middle of her workshift.</p>
<p>So maybe don’t pay for his books, and tell him that’s what the job is for.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the insight. S has always been the most responsible kid I know. He is the one that would always take all the neighborhood ladies (90+ year olds) to their doctor appointments, hair appointments, and go buy their groceries. So I am just at a lost for this behavior.</p>
<p>Also, I know because he tells me. I think maybe he is overwhelmed. The work load is much greater than he expected. One class in particular he wanted to take a 100 level course but he tested out of it and had to register for 300 level. This class is kicking his butt. I know he tried to take a lower class and he wasn’t allowed to sign up for it.</p>
<p>The lady who is supervisor has been wonderful and tried to work around his schedule but for some reason there always seems to be a conflict.</p>
<p>If he is overwhelmed by work and the money isn’t crucial, then by all means encourage him to go to the supervisor and quit the job. In the big scheme of things, not as important, you know? Unless the loss in grant really hurts, of course.</p>
<p>I also work at a college campus and supervise work-study students. In my experience, taking responsibility for their work schedule is part of a college student’s maturing process. As a campus employer I see these students as employees. It’s a real job, we pay them real money, and we expect real work! Students fill out applications and interview like any other job. We don’t have students “placed”. Expectations are clearly laid out in the interview. </p>
<p>I think work-study is a bit of misnomer, some students think it’s getting paid to study. The difference from a campus employer’s point of view is that a portion of the hourly rate is paid through Federal financial aid funds. In our case half the hourly rate is funded by the student’s work-study award, the payroll budget pays the rest. If he already has a WS job, he has accepted the funds; now it’s up to him to earn it. </p>
<p>I would let him learn this life lesson of job responsibility on his own as well as allowing his supervisor to handle it. He has the entire academic year to earn the WS funds. I also have a D who is a college freshman so I understand the anxieties in discovering a child is not doing what they are supposed to be doing! But as a campus supervisor I would let natural consequences occur. </p>
<p>My workplace is a fairly busy public service area, if students don’t show up it has a serious impact for the rest of us! In our department two no-shows, for no good reason are grounds for dismissal. Unless they are highly motivated to work i.e. they really need the money, I tend to avoid hiring college freshmen. I’ve seen too many fall quarter freshmen unable to handle the strain. (I also avoid hiring first quarter graduate students for the same reason.)</p>
<p>As a parent of a freshman, I have a new appreciation for how stressful those first few months can be. Freshmen are grappling with getting oriented, handling college level work and dealing with their new freedom/responsibility. I bet after January things will settle down. It sounds like he has a tolerant supervisor. One of the things I enjoy the most about my job is observing these kids mature into responsible young adults. </p>
<p>Hang in there, it will get better.</p>
<p>It can take some time for kids to find their “balance.” We were surprised when D called us excitedly L& told us she got a campus job (never knew she was trying to get one). Fortunately, she was a transfer & had 3 semesters of community college & 1 semester at the U behind her before she started this in new job in the fall so I think she was able to pace herself.</p>
<p>OP–Talk with your S & tell him he needs to work with his supervisor rather than just “not show up.” If it’s too much he needs to voice that & talk with the supervisor about optoins, including quitting so they can find someone else & he can balance his courseload better. It sounds like you & your S are close & should be able to work through this.</p>