<p>Hi, SuNa
glad things seems to be going better. My son doesn’t "effuse with thankfulness’ either - but I think if he did I might take his temperature! These are boys, after all. </p>
<p>I started to do the ‘skipping a class’ math and decided I didn’t want to know!</p>
<p>I thought I’d provide an update on my son, who back in early September seemed overwhelmed with the demands of college life. I often think of the tippy boat analogy one helpful CCer provided, and how this vessel might soon turn into a speedboat.</p>
<p>After spending the last four days with my son, I can say he has grown and matured a great deal in three months. He is managing life details well by now (admitting that his first few weeks away were quite difficult). His computer and phone are working well now, he has successfully registered for classes for next semester, including bidding for another writing seminar, he got a 98 on his last psychology midterm (after staying up most of two nights studying) and he finally got an A on a Spanish composition. We watched as he did his own laundry throughout the weekend and then packed up in plenty of time to catch his plane this afternoon</p>
<p>It hasn’t all been smooth sailing: after dropping down a level in calculus, he refused to attend biweekly help sessions until a few weeks ago, then admitted, “the help session guy really explained things better than my prof, Mom.” His grade was in the C range at that point and, though a C is okay with us, he made the decision to withdraw from the class, taking a “W” on his transcript and receiving no credit. All that work for nothing, and only 10 credits to show for this semester – but he plans to take Calc I next semester (perhaps after several months of Calc II, it will seem easy?) and the withdrawal process introduced him to several deans who he found friendly and helpful.</p>
<p>All in all, he is turning into a kid who understands his environment and knows how to get answers to questions. Oh, and he seemed much more appreciative at home, too. I told him several times that I was proud of him (I had also planned to say something about being disappointed with his course withdrawal, and that $20,000 has been spent on ten credits, etc. etc. but the time never seemed quite right) and he told me, “I love it when you and dad say that, Mom.”</p>
<p>Thanks again for all your advice “back then,” CCers. How about some other stories of kid tranformation?</p>
<p>Well, thanks for the upbeat ending SuNa. That tippy boat analogy is mine and I came up with the description the hard way–with a freshman boy. </p>
<p>Anyway, its nice to be called helpful, cyberly that is.</p>
<p>Hopefully your boy will find a way to take an extra class somewhere along the way–making up for the lost credit. I’m sure the lost money is on his mind. You won’t have to remind him. Wait and see.</p>
<p>suna, I’m glad your S is now adjusting. First semester often gleams the worst grades. Withdrawing is a better option if his GPA matters for his future
Its good to hear how our children survive the first term/semester</p>
<p>If your son has AP credits, you might look at them as “insurance” against the need to occasionally drop a course. My own son had very uneven performance at his first (expensive) college, with an incomplete in one year-long course and a D in another course – but a 3.0 GPA overall. He withdrew from that college after 2 years, worked a few years, then applied to an in-state public as a transfer. Because of the lost and non-transferrable credit (you can’t transfer a D) – he had to transfer in as a sophomore, but as soon as he applied for and received AP credit under his new school’s more generous policies, he ended up a full semester ahead – so he’ll probably graduate a semester early.</p>
<p>I don’t mean to scare you with a story about a kid who dropped out & transferred – my only point is that its probably better to bite one’s tongue and let the kid navigate his own way. Down the line there are many ways to pick up extra credit – for example, your son may be able to take a summer course at a local community college or state university campus that will transfer back to his main college.</p>
<p>This is a positive story. After reading CC for several years, we handled things a little more efficiently for my second son.</p>
<p>These are some of the things we learned from cc and experience.
<p>Many of you feel we are intrusive parents. We plead guilty. But when our son came home for the first time Thanksgiving, he was confident, pleased with
his accomplishments so far, and spent a reasonable part of the week studying chemistry. No, he didn’t thank us. After all, it was his hard work, we just provided support and the framework for where to turn on campus when there are problems. Much of this advice was culled from cc posts, and I am grateful to this community.</p>
<p>SuNa … thanks for the update … that was great news … it sounds like your son is a terrific young man finding his way!</p>
<p>SuNa - somehow I had missed this thread and only came upon it for the first time just now. I read your original post to my H and he asked if possibly our son had two moms! Your experience was almost word for word what our S’s freshman year was like. He’s a junior now, doing well in school, and while there have been bumps here and there, we realize it was his way of doing it all himself, his way and becoming independent. It really does turn out just fine after all.</p>
<p>I think the decision to go back to Calc 1 is an excellent one. A C in Calc 2 shows poor understanding of the fundamentals; he will do much better the second time around with good fundamentals.</p>