<p>An interesting thread to me and perhaps I can contribute a cautionary tale…My son just <em>finally</em> graduated from UT-Austin where he had entered as a 17 year old and, based on 1600 SAT’s and other “perfect” scores, was placed in third year level math classes (his intended major). He was far more overwhelmed than I realized and simply didn’t go to class. I don’t think he partied but rather just read other things, poked around Austin and listened to music. By the time grades came out, he did poorly enough (3 F’s and 2 D’s) that he was asked to take the next semester off. He lost all his merit scholarship money and his free ride. I thought he would learn his lesson. The next year was only marginally better. This time, a full year off, imposed by both school and me. By the third (or by this time really fourth and fifth) year, he convinced me he needed to switch to what became a double major in French literature and English. Result: he ended up with a 3.95 for his junior and senior year classes to go with his 1.2 for his first two years. btw, I am a single dad and probably was not enough of a nurturer, esp. to son. Also, despite his “agreement” on math major, obviously not where his heart was. I should have been more perceptive, but he was hitting them out of the park in everything in high school, but seemed esp. good at math and hard sciences.</p>
<p>Part of this was youth, part was clearly emotional, part was feeling pressure to go into a major he didn’t really like, but bottom line is I would be sensitive to intervene with appropriate help and while I would agree with the “gentle” advice to cut the chord, I would be in there more aggressively with good advice and sound expectations that the little things should be surmounted by him. They are excuses and maybe also a cry for help. Certainly, be alert for academic problems and be willing to get to root of issues, esp. if there is emotional component that needs to be addressed.</p>
<p>Further irony with respect to this thread, I went to Cornell and was a <em>terrible</em> student, skipped about half my classes but got good enough grades to go to Harvard for law school owing to the good mix of my basic skills and wise choice of courses (not necessarily easy ones, but ones that played into my strengths). Part of what my son learned was that you can’t do that in math (and I expect not in any science or in many other majors as well). It’s hard to understand the ramifications of decisions you make as a 17 or 18 year old. Looking back, I probably almost bragged about my lack of diligence in my government and German majors and that may have fueled part of my son’s dilatoriness with his math courses, buttressed by the special treatment accorded to him in admissions process at UT. He now wants to go to law school. Of course, again a perfect score, this time on LSAT. It is now, however, coupled with an overall 2.9 GPA so his options are severely constrained. </p>
<p>He has “learned his lesson” I think, but with at least some ramifications. It is hard not to blame myself, but it is also important to realize these are our children’s lives. They will make mistakes, sometimes serious ones. They will also, in all likelihood and despite some consequences, emerge better from those experiences.</p>