<p>Yes, but I am a Catholic.</p>
<p>It’s all right. You can wait for Godot, too.</p>
<p>I am not Irish though. I am rather sure that I will be in hell talking about my mad flight.</p>
<p>So, is it Limbo for you? Which flight? Icarus? Same Greek mythology but different myth.</p>
<p>No, Limbo is only for non-believers. The reference is Canto 26 of Inferno for the reason that “rock” is mentioned (in deference to your Sisyphus myth). Here, Dante almost fell until he held on to a rock or he may have fallen down to where Ulysses described his last sea journey as a mad flight until he came to the Rock of Gibraltar and perished with his crew.</p>
<p>Thanks. I had not connected the rock to Sisyphus, although I got the Inferno, of course. I was going to ask whom you might be meeting in the afterlife. I had a whole list at the ready.</p>
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<p>Isn’t there a new wave of theories about Meursault that paints him differently? For instance, for some his apparent lack of emotion in the opening lines might reflect his mere confusion about the exact date since the text of the telegram was unclear. The same theories point out the use of Maman as opposed to "ma m</p>
<p>That’s true, xiggi. For more possibilities of interpretation, read Camus The First Man. His mother was half-deaf, which some have suggested made gave him a sense of the difficulties of communication.</p>
<p>I had to read L’Etranger in French and it was sooo boring. Years later I read *La Peste <a href=“The%20Plague”>/I</a> on my own and liked it a lot better. It was weird seeing that quote, I knew I should know where it was from, but of course I didn’t.</p>
<p>Interesting. There are more people who prefer L’Etranger to * La Peste*. That’s why it’s more famous. It’s also shorter.</p>
<p>Time for an update. And to balance the anger with some shameless bragging about my son!</p>
<p>He served his time on Tuesday without complaint, spending the day in an office with a book and crossword puzzles and lunch he brought from home. I suspect he found the whole process a relaxing change from the usual school routine!</p>
<p>He tells me that his deathless prose on the bathroom wall has already been painted over, with no indication that they had to do any kind of preparation work first. No bill has arrived yet, but we shall see.</p>
<p>The two female members of his little gang are still at large. The school doesn’t appear to be going to great lengths to find out who they are, and certainly hasn’t twisted my son’s arm to give them up. So far as he knows, what they did hasn’t even been painted over yet.</p>
<p>So. Now for the bragging.</p>
<p>Yesterday morning was the annual academic awards ceremony at his school. Fortunately, I was able to take the day off from work to go.</p>
<p>I thought it was nice that out of about 110 kids in his class, it seemed that the vast majority won at least <em>something</em> – some kind of academic recognition, or one of the many scholarship awards given out by a long series of local families (for memorial scholarships), businesses, and organizations (for as little as $100 and for as much as $5,000), or a community service award, etc., etc. And that doesn’t even count the athletic awards, which are given out separately, or a number of awards given to juniors, like the Fairfield University Book Award that my son won last year.</p>
<p>Of course, the drawback of having so many awards was that the ceremony lasted about three hours – Academy Awards territory, even without any acceptance speeches!</p>
<p>I was really so proud of him. It meant a whole lot to me to see him get some public recognition, and to see other kids applaud for him. Just like it meant so much to me this past Sunday to see him hanging out and having a great time with so many friends at a barbecue/picnic for the Drama Club. Maybe especially when I think back to earlier years, when he was so shy, and had so much trouble relating to other kids his own age (he’s always been able to charm adults; maybe being an only child has something to do with it), and had so much social anxiety. Not to mention that he’s come so far socially, and accomplished so much academically, even though he didn’t exactly have such an easy time of it over the years for a number of reasons. Including being so tiny (always the smallest boy in his class, probably only about 4’5" back in 7th grade, and still not even 5’2" – he claims to be 5’2"“, but I’m 5’2”, and I’m definitely still taller than he is! Not such an easy thing for a boy, you know). And having his parents go through a horrible divorce process that took five long years. And coming to terms during the same time period with the realization that he’s gay, and, for a long time, being the only out gay kid in the entire high school; he started coming out to people when he was in 8th grade, after coming out to me when he was 12, I think. Thank God for all the wonderful girls who befriended him, because for a long time there wasn’t a single boy, even the ones he’d been most friendly with in elementary school, who was willing to be his friend. Fear of “guilt by association,” I guess. It hurt him a lot, and it still bothers me.</p>
<p>So. He received four awards this morning. The first three were his National Merit Scholarship Commendation; a $250 scholarship in honor of someone I don’t know, for which he and a few others were chosen by the guidance department; and an academic achievement award given to kids who’ve been on the high honor roll a certain number of times. (They actually got trophies. I thought it was funny when I realized – he and the girl sitting next to him pointed it out to me when they showed me their trophies afterwards – that there was a different trophy for boys, with a generic male figure on it that looks kind of like Oscar, than there was for girls, with some sort of female figure on it. With boobs and wings. Because that’s what girls look like, I guess.) </p>
<p>But what he was most happy about was that he received one of the six primary academic “departmental” awards, chosen by the faculty in each of the English, Science, Math, Social Studies/History, French, and Spanish departments, to give to the most outstanding senior in that department. He was probably in the running for three of them (English, Social Studies/History, and Spanish), but the one he got – for Social Studies/History – was fantastic, and he was very happy for the kids who won the others. (I saw the big smile on his face when he high-fived the girl who won the English award.) I was actually able to make a not-great, but still sort of watchable and listenable, recording of it, on a $20 disposable camcorder I bought at the local CVS last night – it can film for about 20 minutes, you return it to the drugstore, and they put it on a DVD for you.</p>
<p>So this is what the departmental head, Mrs. B., a longtime teacher there who was his teacher in 10th grade for US History I, had to say about him before she announced his award:</p>
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</p>
<p>He really did get a lot of enthusiastic applause. Even more when he reached up and hugged Mrs. B (who towered over him!), and gave her a kiss on the cheek after she handed him the award plaque. (The only recipient of any award to do anything like that all morning!)</p>
<p>He was <em>so</em> happy afterwards. As a little present, I gave him a fresh new copy of the Robert Caro biography of Robert Moses, The Power Broker, because the ancient paperback copy he’d been reading that a friend of mine lent him some time ago had fallen completely to pieces. (Sorry, friend!) And because I figured he might win this award, and thought the book was appropriate for the subject matter.</p>
<p>And what made the day even nicer was that I later, and entirely coincidentally, received a very sweet email from the woman who was his Spanish teacher in 7th, 10th, and 11th grade, and for the first half of AP Spanish this year, until she went on maternity leave; a few months ago she wrote him a recommendation for college saying, she told him, that he was the best student she’d ever had. They had also gotten to be very friendly over the years, and he confided in her about lots of things. Including himself. </p>
<p>Because she’s been on leave, though, she wasn’t able to give her input on the Spanish departmental award, and the other Spanish teachers don’t really know my son that well, so they gave the award to a girl (the class valedictorian) with a slightly higher cumulative subject average. Maybe she would have gotten it anyway, of course. And it doesn’t really matter, because one award like that was just fine so far as he was concerned. That would have been true anyplace, I think, but, after all, his school has been consistently listed for years as one of the top 10 public high schools in New Jersey, even though it’s comparatively small, and there are lots and lots of really smart kids in his class. Even if there aren’t so many who are “quirky intellectual” smart in quite the way my son is, with a seemingly insatiable appetite for reading and learning about literature and history and art and society – all of which makes me believe that he’s going to be very happy at the University of Chicago. </p>
<p>In any event, I thought this email from his Spanish teacher was at least as nice as a second award would have been. And so did my son, when I read it to him. </p>
<p>I had written to her a while ago, congratulating her on the baby, and telling her how completely adorable and lovable my son thought he was when she brought him in for a visit, and telling her how fast they grow up, etc., etc; I had also said:</p>
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</p>
<p>So her email today said:</p>
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<p>Which, of course, I do!</p>
<p>Anyway, that’s a lot of nice things said about my son, in one day. It makes me very happy. And I’ve long since forgotten how angry I was a week ago!</p>
<p>Donna</p>
<p>That’s lovely, Donna. He sounds like a wonderful young man!</p>
<p>Thank you so much for the update, Donna. How incredibly sweet and touching (a few mommy tears in my eyes right now.) Here’s to all the kids who “don’t fit” and “shouldn’t” excel, but still find a way to do both. You should both be very grateful for his smarts and the opportunity for a higher education. Adult life might not have been promising for your son if he had to go work in the coal mines, or at the plant, or on the wharf, because that was all that was available to him. But he will be able to carve out a life where he’s a perfect fit! You should be happy and proud. </p>
<p>As for staight teenaged boys and gay teenaged boys…what can I say? My own son is accepting of everyone and non-judgmental. (He has to be-he has Asperger’s so it’s just in his brain.) He’s in choir and theatre and I know he has friends who are gay. But if I mention anything like that to him, he thinks I’m insulting the friends…so even my totally accepting son is still a teenaged boy and doesn’t “get it.”</p>
<p>Thanks for the update! And the long study on your S. He sounds great and grounded. I am happy he got a department award; I KNOW they are a big deal.
Love the “too big for this school” image for a small guy… yeah.</p>
<p>Congratulations to you and your S. Thanks for updating us. Sounds like a wonderful day.</p>
<p>Congratulations to you and your wonderful son! You’ve clearly done something right. Isn’t it nice when it all turns out good in the end?</p>
<p>Hmmm… I’m still waiting for my wings. (“there was a different trophy for boys, with a generic male figure on it that looks kind of like Oscar, than there was for girls, with some sort of female figure on it. With boobs and wings. Because that’s what girls look like, I guess.”)</p>
<p>What a wonderful day it has been for you & your son. Thank you for updating us. It sounds like you have been a great mom to have in any son’s corner … but particularly in the corner of a son who is different in so many ways. Down the road, your son will find many, many people who accept him for exactly who/what he is … and he will be that much happier because he can compare it with his teenage difficulties. Being through trials & tribulations makes the good times sweeter.</p>
<p>As for the gay part … young boys can be idiots about that. Some will never outgrow their fear (like it somehow reflects on them) … but most will. My H’s best friend growing up did not come out until he was in his late 20’s. By then, we’d pretty much figured it out, but we were sensitive to his timetable for taking it public. My H assured him that it makes absolutely no difference to him … and he told him he wished his friend could have confided in him years before. Your son will have a better college experience since he won’t be trying to hide who he is. He is going to a great place for a guy like him. Best wishes! </p>
<p>As for the girls who got away … your S & the girls probably really enjoy the fact that they were able to get away with it! Don’t worry that they won’t “pay” — the penalty wasn’t all that bad, anyway, and they surely know how close they came to being caught. :)</p>
<p>I wouldnt paste over this judgmental error so easily. Sounds like vandalism to me. Does it take brains to realize acrylic paint on walls don’t wash well ?</p>
<p>Nobody’s pasting over his judgmental error. I know it was vandalism (that’s what the letter I got in the mail from his school called it, after all), and if you read the beginning of the thread, you will see how angry I was at first. Yes, it was stupid of my son to do, and he knows that now. Even if it did “seem like a good idea at the time” to him and his friends.</p>
<p>I don’t know what the difficulties of washing off what he did have to do with this – they simply painted over it, and seemed to have no trouble doing so. If and when they send a bill, he will pay it.</p>
<p>So, if the school has decided that he’s been sufficiently reprimanded and/or punished, and so have I, and I’m not angry at him anymore, I’m not sure what else you think I ought to do. I’m not going to torture him for <em>one</em> really dumb mistake that didn’t hurt anyone or cause any irreparable damage. If that’s the worst thing he ever does in his life, I will be greatly relieved.</p>
<p>Thanks, everyone else, for the very kind words. He’s really a sweet, generous, kid, and that’s every bit as important to me as anything else; it always has been. I’m starting to miss him already, but the question of how I’m going to cope with empty nest syndrome is a subject for another thread!</p>
<p>I should also point out that in the last year or so, as he and his peers have gotten older, he has gotten friendly again with a number of boys – most, but not all of them, other kids in the Drama Club. People seem a lot more secure and relaxed about this sort of thing at 17 and 18, than they did at 14 and 15. Also, he’s no longer the only out gay or lesbian kid in the school; there are three or four in his class, and a handful in younger grades as well. Which makes life easier for him, too. Plus, he’s already met quite a few LGBT kids – and many other incoming freshmen – through the University of Chicago Class of '12 Facebook group he’s belonged to since April. I think it’s nice that when he starts school in September, he won’t have to deal with an entire class full of strangers. I remember how frightening that was for me; I was actually considerably shyer than he is when I was his age.</p>
<p>Donna</p>
<p>Donna:</p>
<p>Thanks for the update. What a lovely occasion that must have been. Your letter to the teachers is the sort of thing that teachers will treasure, as will your son’s peck on the cheek!<br>
He sounds like an ideal fit for Chicago: quirky, smart, well read. Congrats!</p>