<p>Thanks so much for all of your suggestions. I do think if he’d had a 4.0 on his report card that none of this would have come up w/this intensity. He went to a progressive K-8 school that didn’t even give grades - same friends for the last 9 years so I think it’s all a huge change. And it turns out he’s only one of 3 kids from our state (all freshmen) so I think that isn’t helping either although he’s friends with them and has been traveling to/from home on flights with one of those kids. </p>
<p>classicalmama - I think you’re right, from last November when we first visited the campus to March when he got in, he probably had built up the school in his head and now the day to day reality is setting in. And I think you’re right that part of the problem is that he has great private school options at home w/his friends - I don’t want him to have one foot out the door while he’s there so I will tell him not to apply now to transfer next year. </p>
<p>I think he may feel differently if he sticks out the year. It’s so hard to hear him be so bummed out and say things like “I feel like I might be missing out on having a good high school experience” and “I’m not that happy there.” Why we thought it was so odd was because all semester long, he’s said he’s been happy, loves it, loves everything about it, so glad he went away, felt like he made a really good choice for himself. This is the 1st we’ve heard of any unhappiness and then it all came tumbling out.</p>
<p>His form dean called us last week about that D and we talked to him for a while about plans for him to bring that grade up and ways for him to be successful there. They fully believe he can handle the work - they put him in all advanced classes and the dean told us he had just re-read his recommendations and they were all stellar, they believe he can do it. And our son believes he can do it too, he said the classes actually aren’t that hard, he just has to figure out different ways to study, organize his time, do his homework, etc. and I don’t think he’s figured it all out yet. I don’t think our son is thinking about college in terms of the grade - we definitely aren’t - I think he’s just really disappointed in himself. firstgen - I like that idea of mid-year not being the time to make a decision about something. </p>
<p>So I’m thinking we’ll call his form dean again to give him a heads up - I am sure he has dealt with this many times before. And we can check in with his advisor too. </p>
<p>This board is so useful - thank you for responding. It really helps to not have all this running around in my head with no outlet. Oy - this parenting stuff is so hard sometimes - knowing when to push them, when to rescue them, when to let them go, when to keep them close. Thanks for helping me think it all through.</p>