<p>None of my kids (18,21,24) has a license; the 24 year-old just got his permit (he lives in CA, we are on the other coast; he rides a bike 6 miles to work).</p>
<p>It was initially a combination of finances (insurance especially), lack of a car to drive, and lack of time (they are all busy).</p>
<p>It never occurred to me, or them, that there could be any teasing on this. </p>
<p>I"m sure they will all get around to it when they need to (son practices with his boss) but in the meantime, we just joke that our family is “green.”</p>
<p>I lived in the city for 20 years and never needed a car: it would have been a hassle. As I near my 60’s, I am hoping to go back to that!</p>
<p>He should get his license before he goes to college. I was just talking to a friend whose daughter is a sophomore at college and did not get her license. When a friend came home with her for the weekend it was kind of awkward for the daughter to have mom drive them everywhere! Also, if your son gets rides to or from college with another student, he may be expected to share the driving. While it is scary to see your child behind the wheel, it is also very nice not to have to drive them everywhere (especially late at night!). </p>
<p>One of my sons was reluctant to get a permit once he turned 16 even though he had been eager a few months before. It can be very scary to have all that responsibility! Here lessons from a driving school are required. Once he went out with the instructor, he felt much more confident and got his license.</p>
<p>If your son gets his permit now he will practice with you in the car. Also, once he gets his license you can limit the amount of driving he does without an adult in the car and the hours and distances he drives when he is newly licensed. If he waits until he has a job or other reason to need a license, he may not be able to get in enough practice. I would strongly encourage, even require, him to get his permit ASAP.</p>
<p>If he gets DL, your insurance will go up.
Many kids who live in big cities do not have DL or cars. How anyone in college would even know if he has DL??</p>
<p>Whether or not it’s strange to not have a license depends a lot on where you live. In a city (Boston, NYC) one can manage quite nicely without driving. Where we live in Southern California, it’s both inconvenient and rather odd not to be able to drive as a young adult.
Teasing isn’t the problem as much as getting around. Both work and social opportunities are limited without a license in SoCal. But where you live, perhaps it doesn’t matter much.</p>
<p>I come from an area where 99% of people can drive by their senior years, and 90% have cars. There’s simply no other way to get around and most parents work so there are no chaffuers.
I got my permit when I turned 16, my license six months later. I wasn’t a great driver at first, but now regularly make the drive from my home to NY to my school near DC. I drive in Manhattan when necessary and have never had an accident. If I had learned to drive later, I would not have ended up with a car at school which most people here would say is fine, but it saves my parents a lot of hassle.
I have a 17 year old brother who did not get his permit until September of this year. (after he turned seventeen) He is the type who is content to sit there and play PS3 without any human contact. But since he is off to community college next year, he realized he did not want to need his little sister to drop him off at the bus stop on her way to high school every day.
Last week my sister turned 16. She got her permit a few days later. She, my brother and I left on her birthday without telling our parents where we were going and she was thrilled to drive my car. (Around a parking lot only.) My brother still had the same thrill driving around that my sister day. We went on a few very small roads only because we weren’t sure if I had to be 21 if I was his sister. (I’m 19).
(My mom reads this forum sometimes. So I hope this post doesn’t serve as my confession)
The point is my brother did learn when he saw a need, even if the need was to not get left in the dust by his little sister.</p>
<p>It’s also important to learn to drive while you are still young and are still capable of making it second nature. My family migrated to the suburbs from Queens after my generation was born. My parents, uncles, and one aunt learned to drive at 17 (legal age in the five boroughs) and are comfortable driving everywhere including Manhattan. (The male family members all usually work in the city). One of my aunts didn’t learn until during my life time (in her mid-twenties). She will not drive into the city by herself, and her husband drives whenever they are someplace she doesn’t know. She learned fifteen years ago, but still isn’t comfortable behind the wheel of a car.</p>
<p>My mother’s sister, works in DC and lives a five minute cab ride from a metro stop. She grew up in Queens like the rest of them, but entered the army young. She still doesn’t drive. Her husband attempted to teach her, and she learned well enough to even get a license (in Virginia. Not New York), but still can by no means drive. (One of the few punishable by death offenses for my mother is getting in a car with her sister. Not that I would.) So my aunt spends 100’s a month on twice daily cab rides (plus ones in DC). If she goes to the mall, her husband drops her off and picks her up. Unless I meet her there. Then I drop her off.</p>
<p>In addition, in college, my oppurtunities would be limited without a car. The area has decent public transportation, but if you want to go away from DC there is virtually nothing unless you’re going straight to Baltimore. My research team could end up with lab space in Montgomery county or Bethesda, not near the metro. Three of us have cars this year. More have them and will bring them for junior year if necessary, but everyone without them would be limited to times other people could drive them.</p>
<p>There is a bus from my school to a grocery store and a target, but the grocery store is the most expensive one and the Target is the one in PG plaza (as seen on the news from many shootings). Also you can’t get any large items back on the bus. My friends will hint at Target visits to me for weeks because they have virtually no other way to get their minifridge than begging.</p>
<p>S will be 21 in a month and still doesn’t have his license. He took driver’s ed and had a permit, but just wasn’t particularly motivated. He ultimately had to retake the written test and get another permit because the old one had expired, but it is difficult to fit in practicing and taking the driving test when you are away at college/abroad/internships etc. Recently we had to get him a state ID in panic mode for a special purpose, which was a pain. He would have no problem on the test except for parallel parking, which he needs to practice–hasn’t done it at all! I’m going to try to get him to take the test over Christmas break so that he finally has the damned thing. :)</p>
<p>To my knowledge he has never been ridiculed by anyone for not having a license, but it is now time…</p>
<p>DD is 20 and no drivers license. Does not seem to miss it. She uses the bus and train. This year she brought a bike to university to run errands. She likes having a small carbon footprint…Proud of her!</p>
<p>This thread is very comforting to me. My youngest daughter, a high school senior, has no desire to even try to learn to drive. This is not something I can talk her into. It is nice to know there are other young adults out there who are getting along just fine without a drivers license.</p>
<p>There was an article in the Wall Street Journal (I think) a couple of years ago reporting that many, many kids no longer get their license in HS. They are just too busy and no longer in the rush that us parents were (in the dark ages).</p>
<p>But if kiddo is going away to college, just make sure that he gets a state-issued ID or passport to go thru airports.</p>
<p>I wonder if some of this might run in families? Difficult to get a representative sample, but I got my license the week before I turned 18 (could have gotten it on 16th birthday) and it looks like I’ll have gotten mine younger than either of my siblings. My older sister didn’t get hers until she was in her 20’s and got married and had a child, her husband taught her to drive so she could take the baby to the doctor while he was at work. I just wasn’t emotionally ready, I wasn’t afraid to drive but it was too stressful to be worth it, and didn’t get my license until just before I turned 18. My younger sister is turning 18 in March and has shown no sign of caving soon, she IS afraid and she has friends who drive her around anyway. She must get it before next fall because she has to drive to community college but I don’t see her actually taking the time to practice and take the road test before her birthday. Which is interesting, because I think my parents put forth more effort to teach her than anyone else. She has far more driving experience already than I did at her age but she isn’t progressing.</p>
<p>Worth noting: I am probably the best driver in my family and am particularly proficient in severe weather, especially snow. Being late isn’t the end of the world as long as you have the ability to obtain the skills when you need them. When you’re not ready to learn, I don’t think you really can safely force it.</p>
<p>S1 is almost 20. No license yet. Sent him to driver’s ed, did the seatwork, never did the in-car stuff. Has never been behind the wheel. What a waste! The MVA will not accept hte seat work after three years. If he wants to drive, he’s paying for it next time. OTOH, he is perfectly happy to take public transit. Allows him to read on the subway/bus. :)</p>
<p>S2 is 18, has a permit and was almost ready to test when he left for college. Put a lot of miles and hours in over the summer, including on the NJ Turnpike. Expect that we will spend a lot of winter break reviewing so he can test before he goes back to college (sans car). Also is happy to take public transit and says that frankly, he has no deisre to drive in Boston (smart kid).</p>
<p>Driving is one of those basic survival skills I think kids should have before they head off to college, so that they can get themselves/friends safely home if necessary.</p>
<p>Many of their friends were not in a rush to get licenses, either. Traffic around here is so crazy and public transit readily available. When I went to HS in Georgia, though, it was an entirely different culture – almost everyone started driving at 16.</p>
<p>My D is 18, in college, and has never been interested in getting her license or driving. She walks or we drive her where she wants to go. I have seen more kids without licenses lately, however in my day everyone I knew got their license when then turned 18. But in my day drivers ed was a required class during your sophmore year in school as well. </p>
<p>I do not believe that kids should learn to drive before they leave for college. If they are not ready at 18, then they are not ready. I am glad that my D can acknowledge that. I think it shows maturity. I don’t think anyone has ever teased her about not having a license. She does have a state ID, which I insisted that she get when she turned 18.</p>
<p>I got my license when I was a senior in college, age 20. Eventually life forces you to get one or find a friend to drive. My girlfriends ended up driving me around. :)</p>
<p>Wow, I can’t believe there are this many people whose kids didn’t get a license before graduating high school. While I grew up in a fairly suburban, tons of kids still got around via bikes and/or rides from parents, but they still got their driver’s license. I didn’t know anyone in college who didn’t have a license (even though my college was a place were a car was a hindrance). Many of us wound up getting internships in smaller tech centers outside of cities where public transit was minimal, so a car was a necessity.</p>
<p>I was fortunate enough in undergrad that my brother went to college in the same city as me, and he was able to give me a ride to/from breaks. Well, every time except for when he caught a flu and could in no way drive. Both of our dorms were closing that day for the break, so if I hadn’t been able to drive we’d have been pretty boned.</p>
<p>It’s also a good idea to pick up a driver’s license as soon as possible since the number of years you’ve been licensed counts towards insurance rates. Even though my girlfriend is older than me, since I’ve been licensed longer I’m cheaper to add to her policy than she was to mine.</p>
<p>Heck, even if you’re getting flown out of town for a job interview or something of the like you may need a rental car in order to get where you’re going. I can’t see a reason why not to get over the fear of driving and just do it for the sake of issues that may pop up in the future.</p>
<p>(This all coming from someone who hates driving and walks and/or takes public transit to work.)</p>
<p>I think having a DL is important, whether you have a car or not. There may be instances where you may need to be able to drive. My friend’s mom got pulled over a few years ago, with me and my friend in the car, my friend’s mom ended up being arrested because she had an unpaid ticket, and there was a warrant out for her arrest. My friend didn’t have a DL, but I did, so I had to drive the car back to her house. Luckily I was with her, or my friend’s moms car would have been towed and my friend would have had to wait on the side of the road for someone to pick her up.</p>
<p>Also, I think it’s just easier to get a DL when you’re younger. You have a lot more free time to just go and get it. My same friend from the above story has been trying to get her DL for years… she can’t seem the find enough time to study for the test, etc. I started driver’s ed when I was 15, got my license at 16. I was in HS, so I had tons for free time.</p>
<p>I have two sons-completely opposite. S1 got his permit at 16 and his license the day he turned 17. He couldn’t wait. S2 got is permit at 16 1/2 and then never had any time to practice. He finally got his license in April at 18 1/2. He only did that because I told him his permit was expiring, and he couldn’t even get into an R rated movie because he didn’t have the proper ID. He really wasn’t ready and hasn’t driven since he got his license. His other reason for not getting the license was that he can’t drive at college so why rush. I am now sorry that I didn’t get the state id, once he got his license he had to go on our insurance, so now I am paying for someone who doesn’t even drive!</p>
<p>I can’t believe all the kids who don’t have licenses either!</p>
<p>I can see if you live in NYC but that’s about it. It has nothing to do with having a car at school, either. DS is not going to have a car his freshman year, for sure. We will reevaluate when he is a Soph. But I think it’s extremely important to know how to drive.</p>
<p>My S was also, after he got his DL at 17, trained by us on how to drive our stick shift car. It’s hard to get an opportunity to do so for many, so he was happy (after the fact) to do so, especially since that was going to be the vehicle he was driving. It’s an older BMW and this friends thought it was cool he could drive a stick. HOWEVER, when it came time for the senior road trip to SF, he begged off on using the stick and asked to borrow another car, since he knew full well how steep the hills are in SF. We agreed with his logic on that one.</p>
<p>So, in an emergency situation, he can drive a stick or an automatic, nice skill to have.</p>
<p>At the time, when my D was 18, it was June after freshman year of college. She had had a license by then for almost three years and had driven quite a bit. We live in Vermont. My brother and his family live in Alaska. When D was 17 and as senior in HS, my Dad was dying unexpectedly from cancer and had just bought himself a new car before his diagnosis. He told my niece in Alaska, that when he died, she could have his car if she had a way to get it. She was 15 at the time. My 17 year old D was immediately saying, “I’d drive it there for you!” And so when she was 18 1/2 and had just finished her first year of college, she wanted to do it and the car was at my parents’ home in South Jersey. She had two friends, also 18, whom she had grown up with who wanted to make the journey with her. The three of them drove the car 6000 miles to Alaska, taking turns driving in about ten days. They spent a week in Alaska and flew home. My brother paid my D’s expenses to get the car out there for his daughter, who now has the car (she is now a senior at UMich and has driven the car there herself in fact). </p>
<p>My D is well traveled and it was a cool adventure at the time (she is now 24 and in Europe). She had enough driving experience to do it. I was brave (I think) considering this was just three months after younger D (who was 16 at the time) had been in a very serious car accident while driving and severely injured. </p>
<p>Older D had a car at college and in grad school (except freshmen year in college when the car was here and used by younger sister last year of high school). There was no easy way to get home from her college but by car. Right now, she is living in Europe for the year and got a new bike there. Unfortunately, a couple of weeks ago, the new bike was stolen. She may be renting a bike soon (is also moving within Europe this week). </p>
<p>Other D, who still drives, rarely drives more than once or twice a year as she lives in Manhattan and is rarely ever home and will only drive the car shared with her sister and unless that car is here when she visits, she would not drive my car which is very big SUV (the kids’ car is small SUV).</p>