<p>My H is now driving freshman S back to school after a four day Fall break. We were anxious to see him as it had been two months since we dropped him off at school. I was pleasantly surprised to find that he was more conversational with us and generally nicer to be around. He really seemed to appreciate us more. He even offered to pay for things on his own. However, I was hoping to find that he become more responsible in other ways. NOT! First off, he forgot both his power cord for his laptop and his phone charger at school. Second, he had volunteered to help with an out-of-town class trip that the high school was taking the day after he got back but over slept and missed the bus. Then he took his expensive bike up to the local college to visit some friends and did not lock it properly and it got moved and vandalized. What else . . . oh yeah he lost his phone for a day. All of this from an honors student who you’d think should know better! When do they become more responsible? How have all of your first visits been with freshman returning home?</p>
<p>I’ll let you know in six weeks! ;)</p>
<p>Our first visit was a little awkward. He wasn’t gone very long but it was HS homecoming so all his friends were coming home from their schools. Our S needs more time away to really feel that school is his home. He still describes it like living in a hotel (granted, a very small hotel room!) for a weird extended vacation but with classes and tons of homework. S has always been very talkative, but had so much reading to do when he was here, it was frustrating that we couldn’t really enjoy the visit more. Thanksgiving will be better, hopefully.</p>
<p>Our DS1 was like the OP for his 1st visit home. However, when he came home for T-DAY, he was much different. He still came home with every ounce of dirty laundry he owned, but the next time he remember his necessities of life…power cords, chargers, ipod, etc. I think that occurred because he realize how attached he was to these things, and how his life stunk for those 4 days.</p>
<p>Does he still leave a mess in his room when he is home? Yes!</p>
<p>Yet, there is an air about him, that he is more confident, more assured regarding him as an adult. We look at that more than the soda cans (which are forbidden) in his bedroom.</p>
<p>Our DD came home for the 1st time this past weekend, she is the only DD in the family and has always had a love hate relationship with DS2. Yet, during the weekend for the 1st time in her entire life she actually sat around with him and joked. He was no longer to her the pain in the arse baby brother, he was just her brother.</p>
<p>We took her out to lunch and VT was playing on the tv there. I laughed because there was our DD screaming at the tv over a ref call and then discussing it with her Dad and 2 brothers. 2 months ago if you asked how many yds for a 1st down and she would say 3, because in her mind a yd was 3 feet. Now the girl even understands why certain players where certain numbers (i.e. qb is a single digit) and screams at the tv, as if they can hear her, to tell them they are going to do an on side kick.</p>
<p>Thank you all for sharing these. We’re flying up to see PMKjr in a few weeks and it helps to know what to expect.</p>
<p>College senior son forgot to charge his cell phone and left the charging cable at school when he joined us OOS for a wedding. Returning home brings out the child in everyone- notice your behavior when you visit your parents decades after leaving home. Parents and children revert to old habits. There is also a difference when the return is a short visit and when it is the long winter/summer break stay. Status changes from visitor to family member. By now son considers his apt home- he is doing a 5th undergrad year (taking more grad level math courses) since he overreached in his math grad school apps last fall. He comes to visit us a bit, we Skype and phone/email him. </p>
<p>Your Parent/Child relationship is evolving into an adult/adult one. The home rules change. You realize that once he has been trusted to run his life 24/7 away at school some old rules, such as curfews, shouldn’t apply. New rules involving courtesy need to be stated, such as when at home telling parents where and when info is nice so they know what to expect. The same sort of info parents exchange with each other.</p>
<p>Coming home means dropping the 24/7 responsibilities for a time. Meals- mom will provide. Obligations- parents are there to wake you up, take care of everything. Revert to the freedoms of being a child. Then get irritated when parents treat you like the child you behave as…</p>
<p>We find ourselves no longer presuming a lot we used to take for granted years ago. Likewise son is learning not to expect the same as when we parented him in so many ways. It is sad to “lose” the child, but so much more freedom!</p>
<p>I’ll let you know in 10 weeks…daughter is in Germany so no Thanksgiving Break. She left in August and will be back on 23rd December. She has informed us she plans on spending most of her Winter break in Africa visiting the new “love of her life” Oh Well, you are only young once!!</p>
<p>Thanks all. This should be a tell tale week ahead. He is going out to buy a tuxedo by himself. Needs it for a music performance next Saturday. He’s know about this for a month. Seems in no rush but yet has to have it fitted in just a few days. Wants me to stay out of it and I am, but I’m nervous nonetheless. He’s spending $250 on something he has to wear for 4 years and he tends to care less how something fits. It’s out of my hands though.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Why do I suddenly have an image of Pee Wee Herman in my head?</p>
<p>Oh My! That is quite a visual! (pee wee herman). Let’s all hope that he makes a good choice on the tuxedo, has some help from the store personnel, and gets it fitted in time. It is really hard to let go sometimes, isn’t it??</p>
<p>LOL ^^ That’s hilarious. We’re driving in for the performance. Hope that’s not who meets us!</p>
<p>We bought son a suit to wear as a groomsman at the wedding last spring. No time to get it altered as he arrived after 10 pm Friday, Penneys south and near the airport opened at 10 am and he was running in a noon 5K race in a northern suburb with the groom (the bride got her hair done instead of the race) before the 4 pm wedding. We caught the sales and son didn’t need to wear his HS Orchestra black pants with a too small jacket of his dad’s. By the time he gets around to alterations he’ll probably have grown that smidge more. I was pleasantly surprised at how knowledgeable the middle aged saleslady was. H and I scouted out the mall the evening before and son was in and out of the store in about 20 minutes with a good choice. Son’s first suit ever. I’m sure places selling tuxedos will be good- although they won’t add that weekend’s coupon deal in addition to the sale price. I must add that we are not big into fancy clothes so Penneys was a good choice for a suit worn twice so far and probably for interviews some year.</p>
<p>Most tux rental places also sell them (lightly) used, for much cheaper than new, like 1/3 the price. The chains might have only one particular store in the area that sells used tuxes, but it is worth looking into if you don’t mind lightly used.</p>
<p>I bought my tux this way, and have been using it for orchestra performances for years.</p>
<p>You don’t give your location, but in the Boston area there is a store in Cambridge that sells mostly used tuxes - I bought a pair of tux pants there for $20 when I wore out the ones from my original tux. They had jackets starting at $40 or so. I forget the name but it should be easy to find or I can track it down if you are interested.</p>