Son's Head-On Crash Update, Insight, & Thank You

Parent Cafe
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<p>Thank you to everyone who wrote with words of love and encouragement to my son and to our family after his car was hit head-on one week before his 18th birthday at Christmas. It has been a very difficult and emotional month.</p>

<p>My son was diagnosed with a concussion, and still has headaches and head pressure that is unrelenting. His physical activities are limited, and this has saddened him quite a bit, because he is a very active competitive swimmer, who works out daily, and enjoys staying physically fit. His other relatively minor injuries have faded. He’s being followed by several specialists, and we’re looking forward to the time that this will be a distant memory.</p>

<p>The insurance company finally declared his car totaled (damages exceeding 100% of the purchase price). We replaced his car immediately so he could move on.</p>

<p>The most trying part of the recovery for him has been the emotional impact. For weeks, he couldn’t bring himself to speak of the crash and he became very reclusive. We sought counseling to help him through it. While the young man looks fine, the “scars” are there indeed and will be there for quite a while.</p>

<p>A couple of weeks after my son’s accident, an former world-record holder, Olympic swimmer, Eric Namesnik, whom my son and I had only briefly met a number of years ago (a multi-silver medalist who was the most wonderful and humble young man who coached U Mich with Jon Urbanchek for many years) was involved in a terrible car accident too. Unfortunately, the outcome wasn’t so good. He lived 4 days in a medically induced coma before succumbing to his injuries. He left a wife and two young children.</p>

<p>I was shattered to think how random this all was…how my son was fortunate and lived, and this young man did not. I grabbed my son, and sobbed all those tears that I couldn’t all those weeks after the accident. I’m sure DS thought I was crazy. </p>

<p>So, dear parents, hold your children close, love them lots, and never let a day go by that you don’t thank the spirits above that you have their lives entrusted to you for even a moment.</p>

<p>We have a way to go, but we are together…and I am so grateful.</p>

<p>Thank you all so very, very much for all of your love and caring!</p>

<p>OB</p>

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<p>thanks for the update.</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.forbes.com/technology/feeds/ap/2006/01/11/ap2443698.html[/url]”>http://www.forbes.com/technology/feeds/ap/2006/01/11/ap2443698.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>OrangeBlossom - As a newbie on this site, I want to add my belated thoughts and best wishes on your son’s recovery. I just revived a thread on safe cars as you probably noticed. My own family has certainly been touched by tragedies of this type over the years. When my children were younger, they lost their 16 year old teenage babysitter in a fatal car wreck, and just this year, a neighbor’s son flipped his SUV and was killed. Do you mind if I ask what type of car your son was in when he had the accident? (You don’t have to say, if you’d rather not.) It sounds as though it probably saved his life.</p>

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<p>Orange Blossom:</p>

<p>Thank you for the update. My heart goes out to your son. Is he still on break? I hope that his profs are alerted to his concussion and the related headaches. He should not put pressure on himself, in particular of the mental kind. Not even crossword puzzles. Perhaps he could take a lighter workload? I’m rooting for a full recovery very soon.</p>

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<p>OrangeBlossom </p>

<p>Thank you for taking the time to check in with us. Please also take care of yourself as you take care of your son. I am so glad he is getting help for both the physical and the emotional trauma. We will continue thinking of him.</p>

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<p>I looked on the old thread. The car was a 2006 TOYOTA SOLARA SLE V6 COUPE with ABS, driver and passenger front and side airbags, front and rear curtain airbags, VSC. </p>

<p>Orangeblossom, glad to hear he’s so much better and will keep your son in our prayers for his further recovery. Thanks for the update.</p>

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<p>Orangeblossom,
As the mom of a swimmer, I can so relate to the frustration you S (and you) must be feeling. Hang in there. Strength will come from this difficult time, and good things might also ignite down the road for your S. I hope his physical and emotional injuries heal soon.</p>

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<p>OrangeBlossom, I am so relieved to hear he is going to be all right, though it is a very tough time. I was not online the week this happened and missed the thread but read about it a few days ago when someone started an update thread. I’m sorry to not have been there.</p>

<p>Your post just now truly has me crying. I know just how you feel. It never truly fully goes away (though it won’t be so paramount in your minds after a while) but when the topic comes up or you think about it, it brings back the whole weight of the experience. That is what your post is like for me now. </p>

<p>You already know my own daughter was in a severe car crash last March at age 16. Her injuries were more serious than your son’s and the recovery much longer but like you, we have her. And she has recovered and her dreams continue on and she started her dream school this past fall. It does get better, trust me. Still, whenever I think about it, it brings back all the emotional anxiety of the whole ordeal and yes, we are lucky, as are you, in the scheme of the what if’s. It is those what ifs that also get to ya. These kids were saved and have another chance. </p>

<p>Like you, right after my kid’s accident, I read about another one eerily similar…another senior in our region, whom I did not know…and in her case, she did not make it. I kept thinking, why did my kid get to live and she didn’t? So random. </p>

<p>About your son’s thoughts…it will get better. I recall some time after my child’s hospital stay, even a few weeks or so, she was just crying in her bed late at night…saying she couldn’t fall asleep and couldn’t stop thinking about the accident, reliving it. I think this is pretty normal. It is so traumatic to experience the whole thing and the shock of it all. Everyone is different but I can tell you that did not last that long. I haven’t heard her talk about it in an upsetting way. It was more that initial period. I hope that is the same for your son. I also don’t think about it that much as far as my own experience but when it comes up (like even now your post), and I do think about what it all was like, I do feel upset inside. So, it does get better as it is not constantly on the mind and all, but there are times there are reminders and let’s hope neither of us ever go through it again and nobody else we know (or don’t know) has to. </p>

<p>I’m so glad that your son is mostly healed and I hope there is relief for the headaches and that doctors foresee these diminishing. He has much to look forward to and I hope that as soon as his life returns to normal, his thoughts will turn to happy things and his bright future, and college in the fall. </p>

<p>I get nervous about my D driving now but I know I can’t keep her from doing it and in some ways, I am glad she overcame it and wants to drive. Luckily for me, she is in school in Manhattan and so rarely drives but she was here this past week and did drive. I asked her to not use the interstate (that was where her headon collision at 65 mph happened) and she said, “don’t worry, I don’t wanna”. And one night, the roads were really bad due to snow and we said we wanted to drive her to her social plans and luckily she did not balk at that notion. But otherwise, she drove and I just had to deal. I’m proud of myself in that I let my 18 year old drive 6000 miles to Alaska this past summer after the horrors of my 16 year old being in a car wreck. Things do get better. I promise.</p>

<p>Hugs to you…
Susan</p>

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<p>OrangeBlossom,
what a nightmare…for your son, for yourself…your family… for many of us parents, when we learned to drive, we were learning with “normal” cars…so many of today’s drivers are behind the wheel of massive SUV’s (like myself) and I continue to remind my kids that these are 4,000 pound weapons…I actually hit a deer the other nite… bit foggy, going 30mph…no chance to miss it…very haunting experience. </p>

<p>Headaches…don’t want to suggest that I know what is best for concussion, one of my favorite headache remedies is to use this microwaveable heating pad, I heat it for 3 minutes and then put it behind my head and lie down…often I have to reheat it, or have family reheat it…sometimes I take Nyquill too…and when lucky, the combination will lull me to sleep and when I wake up the headache is gone…an electric heating pad might be a good alternative, some don’t get as “hot” as the microwave pad… headaches are debilitating and teenagers just don’t need to have that as a constant…</p>

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<p>orangeblossom add my name to the chorus of well wishers. My thoughts are with you and your family- and thanks so much for updating us.
andi xxoo</p>

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<p>O/B, I imagine the physical and emotional road to recovery is a long and winding one indeed. Does he still have flashbacks/nightmares etc. It’s really tough for teens, who may not express a lot of what they are going through, the anguish, the ‘why me’, and the fustration of it all. I hope your family stays strong through it all, and things start to improve soon.</p>

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<p>Orangeblossom,</p>

<p>I, too, am so sorry for this difficult time in your lives. You were really wise to get some counseling for your son, to deal with the anxiety and post-trauma reaction. I know he will soon be better, but for the present moment, it is NO fun. Your son, I am sure, does not think you are crazy, just very loving and concerned. Blessings.</p>

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<p>Orangeblossom, just adding my thoughts to your son’s recovery and to what you must be going through, as well. My brother was killed in a school crosswalk when he was six years old, and years later as an adult, I asked my mother what she found to be the most helpful and supportive thing that anyone did. She said that she found it most comforting when friends would just let her talk without offering any advice. She remembered the ones who simply told her that they were sorry for her loss. </p>

<p>So, I am sorry that this happened to you and your family. Thanks for the update, and ::::slugghuggs::: from your CC friends. ;)</p>

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<p>Slugg…I am sorry to learn of the loss of your brother as a child. That is very tragic and I’m sorry for you and your family for enduring this pain.</p>

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<p>OrangeBlossom,
Head injuries are tough to judge because we don’t SEE the damage and we forget the brain was banged around. Your son may try to do more than he’s ready for. Let him know it takes time and if he does encounter trouble (like short term memory problems), it most likely will get better with time… When our kids are hurt or sick, it sure makes us remember how precious they are.</p>

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<p>Orangeblossom…thanks so much for keeping us up-to-date with the news of how your son is faring after this accident. Please check in again with news soon…so many of us are thinking of him and hoping he will continue to heal. Seems like yesterday that soozie in VT was dealing with rallying around her daughter during a very difficult recovery. best wishes!</p>