<p>jaylynn: My first diamond ring (I am on number 3) was a 90 point with two half carat side. I had a necklace made for my first ring. I gave the necklace to my dil. She LOVED the fact that I gave this to her.</p>
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<p>Just FYI…I didn’t even know what a halo setting was until I saw the comments on this thread. I looked up some pictures and was surprised to see that the setting is exactly like that of my grandmother’s engagement ring from 1929. I always thought the ring (which my sister has now) was very “Deco” and it is beautiful. I don’t think it’s “blingy” as much as it is just a style from that period that seems to have come back.</p>
<p>Agree - they are very popular now, my more recently married coworkers have them and I admired them for their vintage appeal.</p>
<p>I never heard the term “halo setting” until just now, so I had to go look it up and discovered that’s what I’m wearing. It was my grandmother’s, from the 1920s - so doubtless similar to sally305’s grandmother’s ring. My own engagement ring had a very small diamond, which fell out and was lost in recent years. My mom then offered me her mother’s ring, which had been residing in a safe, so now I wear that instead. DH didn’t give it to me but that’s not a problem to us, and I love wearing my grandmother’s ring. I like its vintage look, and it hadn’t occurred to me that some might think it too “bling-y”. Well, I won’t lose any sleep over this news.</p>
<p>I inherited a diamond engagement ring from the early 1900s…from looking at this link <a href=“http://www.kings1912.com/blog/2011/09/school-style-choosing-vintage-engagement-ring/”>http://www.kings1912.com/blog/2011/09/school-style-choosing-vintage-engagement-ring/</a> , I see that it is the Edwardian style. Platinum ring. I don’t know what I’m going to do with it, but it’s not a style I like so I never wear it. Although my mother has told me not to sell it, I might do just that.</p>
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<p>When my DH proposed, I remember feeling very happy and content. We had dated awhile, and I’d known for a long time that I wanted to marry him. He is a VERY careful person in terms of committing to things, so he took his sweet time. I knew that when he proposed, he was all in. </p>
<p>Three weeks later, he said, “you haven’t said a word about a ring. Wouldn’t you like an engagement ring?” I honestly hadn’t thought about it. He bought me a lovely pear shaped diamond with small baguettes on either side, and I love it.</p>
<p>His best friend proposed shortly after that, and his fiancee told him, “Don’t even think about getting less than 2 carats-if you’re thinking of getting me some kind of chip, don’t even bother.” DH said, “I would have told her what to do with her 2 carats. All I could think of when my friend told me this story was how glad I was that I’d found you and how I wanted to tell him to run for his life.”</p>
<p>As to “clean” diamonds, in the 1980s I was totally unaware of the issue.</p>
<p>I have a coworker who has a fabulous, Bohemian sense of style - flowing scarves, hair pinned up in various ways, really cool. She got engaged and got a black diamond. It is SO her.</p>
<p>An engagement ring is something my daughter would wear everyday. She doesn’t want to upgrade in five years. She would rather wait and save the money to get a ring she would be happy to wear for a long time. I think she is being more prudent than a lot of people. She is not in a rush to get married until they are ready to start a family, so she is giving the guy a lot of time to save up for the ring, and if he couldn’t or has the desire to do so then they are probably not a good match. As the saying goes, there is someone for everyone. </p>
<p>I am also the one who started the thread about if you would let your kid marry someone with a large student loan, so I told D1 to wait until the BF has paid off his student loans first.</p>
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I’ve visited the john hardy showroom in bali-- really weird & fabulous architecture. Worth seeing if you’re in bali.</p>
<p>i will also advise my boys to run from a girl who demands an extravagant rock. Shows misplaced sense of values.</p>
<p>If there were a thread about “which CC’er has the most outwardly flamboyant, showy lifestyle,” I know where I’d place my bets, but I ain’t telling! LOL.</p>
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What about paying full freight for college, would that be misplaced sense of values? What about spending thousands on a bike, racing gears, motorcycle, expensive china, silver? I guess we would have our priorities straight if we have your (this is a big you) sense of values.</p>
<p>“What about spending thousands on a bike, racing gears, motorcycle, expensive china, silver?”</p>
<p>I don’t think the issue is buying luxuries that you want to enjoy. The issue is conditioning a marriage on the purchase of the luxury.</p>
<p>Would posters feel the same way if the bride-to-be was willing to pay for half of the cost of a bigger ring than the groom was planning to buy?</p>
<p>I think there is a difference between being willing to wait for student loans paid off and $$ saved for a ring than a woman “demanding” an x size ring RIGHT NOW, usually at financial peril or debt. </p>
<p>Do you people know a lot of women who demand a certain sized diamond? I don’t and most of the women I know getting engaged in the last 5 years come from pretty well to do families - but they all seem thrilled with whatever the size of the ring - and I’ve seen ones as small as 1/2 carat to as large as 9 carats (her H and family are in the jewelry business so this doesn’t really count.) </p>
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<p>So did his friend marry the diamond-digging financee, and did they stay married?</p>
<p>I don’t know if women are “demanding” big rings, but most young women I know who have gotten engaged recently are wearing some major bling, even those just starting out. I don’t know if there is debt involved, or if they are the result of years of careful saving, or if they are cubic z. Of course I would never ask.</p>
<p>I asked D1 if she would be willing to pay for half. She said on principle, no. She said once they are married their money is fungible, if he takes his money to buy the ring, she is going to put more of her savings toward buying an apartment, so in essence she will be paying for part of the ring. Her BF spends money on going out, vacations and a lot of other toys (like many young adults). He can put some effort (cut out other luxuries) into saving some money for the ring. </p>
<p>I think there’s a big difference between some of these stories about alleged “diamond diggers” and a young woman with a lucrative career discussing with her boyfriend what size diamond she would want to wear for years and years, and to state that it is worth it to her to wait until that sort of ring could be obtained. I don’t have a problem with that if it is economically viable for the couple. </p>
<p>I don’t ever have a problem with a woman of any age deciding what is important - to her- and just letting her partner know. Then the partner can decide how to respond. I think telling what we want is really really important. Much better than any alternative and potentially saves so much misunderstanding and grief. imho</p>
<p>In my experience, women who can figure out and then articulate what is important to them have a much better chance of realizing their wants and goals . I am not talking only about diamonds, but think it is a good example.</p>