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Parents Forum
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<p>We have had discussions on this reidm in the past. I mean we got to the nitty gritty of what she wants some time ago and realized that she wasnt living to make music…she was living to perform…if you know what I mean. She loves singing, absolutely loves it …anytime - anywhere for anyone or just for herself. And she spends a lot of time writing music. But she would not be happy simple creating music…she wants to perform and have an audience. I guess many musicians dont care about the audience. Not her …she wants it.
After we figured that the goal was really to perform singing and she is just as happy to sing someone elses music as her own (though she enjoys creating her own)…that actually helped us in determining our action plans.
She has indicated to me that if she goes for it and it does not work out…well she is going to continue going for it. Do you know what I mean? I mean if she is 80 years old she will still be trying to achieve her goal.
That said…I mentioned to her that it would be a lot more pleasant if she could support herself in an enjoyable manner as she continues to strive for her dreams. And the more music skills she has the better. She recognizes all this.
So its an interesting ride we are on…</p>

<p>BTW She has really good teeth - white and strong! Bring on the concrete.</p>

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<p>Angst, that is the key. If the goal is to make music and perform, there are many possibilities now and in the future. If the goal is to be a star, the opportunities are more limitted, not that she should not go for it. </p>

<p>Some say to those who try to go into these fields, “you’ll never make it, get a back up degree in something else” and so forth. I think that is one end of the spectrum. Another end is to have your goals narrowly defined as becoming a pop star who performs others’ music. I think a happy medium is to go for your dreams, pursue the performing arts (singing in this case), keep dreaming if you want, to make it BIG, but if your passion is singing, there are a myriad of things you can do and so keep the goal a little broader than stardom or pop singer of others’ songs, no instruments. I think a kid like yours could cut a demo CD, get gigs with bands, pursue a degree in contemporary music or even vocal performance, find all sorts of performing opportunities and see what develops…one thing can lead to another. She might end up teaching voice while pursuing her own performance ambitions, for example. </p>

<p>My own child who is going for musical theater, I certainly want her to pursue her passion to continue to perform on stage, get her degree in this field and keep auditioning and hope to get professional work. I say, go for it. I also believe she will have a college degree, and so she will have an education. But I also think, should casting not work out to become a reliable job down the line, she also is skilled at other things that she truly enjoys…she could direct shows, choreograph, musically direct, create/write shows, write music, be a pianist in a piano bar, sing with a band, teach theater to children, and so on. </p>

<p>For your daughter, while she could pursue getting a record contract as a pop singer, she also could be looking into performance opportunities locally, creating a band, learning piano or guitar to accompany herself, pursue a college degree in this field or a related one, enter music scholarship type competitions, etc. </p>

<p>I think if she loves to sing, find all sorts of training and performance opportunities, rather than reach for pop stardom, and see what develops. If someone loves to sing, they find a way to keep doing it, record or not, stardom or not, they cannot NOT do it. Talk about going for her dreams but also look at broad training and broad performance experiences. I think she has a chance to make it as a singer in some type of line of work and it remains to be seen if she achieves pop stardom, as few do. Some of that is due to breaks and connections and so forth, and not merely a talent competition of who is the best singer out there. </p>

<p>Good luck.
Susan</p>

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<p>Angst, I thought of your D last night when I caught a snippet of “American Idol”. There was a cute little girl on the show that was just a bundle of personality. I don’t think her voice had any “wow” factor, but she was just such a character that I knew they were not going to pass her up, and sure enough she is going on!</p>

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<p>Jamimom I know exactly which girl you mean. In fact hubby and I were talking to daughter right then. We said see that girl…she is not that good at singing…but she is good at promoting herself. And for pop singing MOST times its the biggest self - promoter that gets the gig…or the one that knows somebody. So you could be the Bestest little singer out there…and really cute…but self promotion, luck and knowing someone are primary factors for pop singing.
SO she needs to get other eggs in the nest…Not only singing well but as many of you have said a musical instrument (she will be taking piano next year as part of her adanced music studies) </p>

<p>One thing we were thinking about…is since there are so few schools that dont focus on classical music , perhaps she may be better getting a degree in Drama and taking voice lessons on the side. Thoughts on this?</p>

<p>She wants to perform…she would eventually like a multifaceted career. She enjoys acting…but singing rules. She does NOT want to teach.</p>

<p>I had been telling her she might want to become trained in real estate or as a nurse so she could have a back up…(naturally she DID NOT like this idea)
BUT Susan…perhaps she is better off staying focused in her field of interest AND BROADENING her scope more. I did mention that she could train to manage other artists as a backup and she said no way…she would not like that at all because she would want to be doing what they are doing.</p>

<p>We will just have to see what happens. Thanks all</p>

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<p>Angst, I am not saying she should train to be something else (ie., nurse, teacher, artist management). I think she should train and go to college to go into singing. I am simply saying to broaden her outlook…make vocal performance the goal, not pop stardom. Continue training now and in college. Continue to seek out performance opportunties. Promote her in other ways if you want such as seeking agent representation. If she loves to perform and loves to sing, keep working at it and many possibilities might arise. If you think more broadly than pop stardom, she likely will become a success. </p>

<p>I am not saying that my daughter should train as a musical director as her goal is to be a performer, but she does have skills in these related areas…she has directed and she can musical direct from a piano and write harmonies and so forth. Her goal cannot be narrowly defined as to make it on Broadway…though of course she should dream of that…but I think there are forms of success in her field and she just wants to perform on stage but I can see her also being the creator and director as well. </p>

<p>Just keep an open mind. She does not have to have a back up career like nursing, but she might just want to seek out singing and related things, and keep the “pop star” as an additional prize if it happens. </p>

<p>Also, your example with American Idol (I did not see it), is a good example of a point I made earlier. Sometimes breaks happen, or connections happen and it is not always the most talented person who goes on. I have seen pop stars or American Idol contestants who are not nearly as good a singer as some teens I know. There will be factors you can’t control in this industry. And in the case of casting things, when many have the talent, it can come down to fitting into a need, a look, etc. beyond your control. As long as you make sure your child sees these sides of it, she’ll be ok. </p>

<p>I don’t think your daughter should pursue a drama major. I think ideally she belongs in a program focused on contemporary music and I compiled a list of schools for you a while ago that I culled from a directory based on your location criteria and her interests. Another possibility is a vocal performance major because even pop stars benefit from regular vocal training. You said your daugther may enter such a high school specialty program next year and she can see how she likes that type of voice training. </p>

<p>What sort of performance things is she involved with? Has she ever looked into getting gigs locally…either solo or with a band? </p>

<p>Susan</p>