Sophomore, miserable, depressed, want to kill myself

<p>I'm a sophomore and I'm the most miserable and depressed I have ever been in my entire life, and I think about killing myself every day. I would never do it (much too afraid), but it all stems from my lack of friends.</p>

<p>Yeah, I know, you have to be a huge loser to not make friends in college right? Well that fits me perfectly. In freshman year, I lived in a dorm, called "antisocial" before I got there and that no one wanted to live in. I was excited to meet people but I realized no one in the dorm ever opened their doors or wanted to try to meet anyone, yet they all seemed to know people. People did stuff with their roommates, while mine were never there so I had to do everything alone. I also had difficulty meeting people in class due to large class sizes, and in the smaller labs/discussions, all we would do is talk, it wouldn't go further than that</p>

<p>Now I'm living in an off-campus apartment with my dorm roommate and a few friends of his and I cannot believe how miserable I am. My day consists of waking up, going to class, and coming back for the rest of the day. They've already told me they all want to split up for next year for housing, meaning that they probably just don't want me here anymore. </p>

<p>Every day I think about how much fun people in college are having, even on this board which is supposedly for the "nerds" where everyone is going out and partying and having the typical college life while I sit in here the most miserable a person can be. I put on a mask for my parents who are paying for my college, but I also act depressed around them</p>

<p>I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm getting close to the point of dropping out completely, moving away into some rural place, and finding out what to do from there, and hopefully paying my parents back for all the tuition they paid</p>

<p>PLEASE, PLEASE call your parents immediately or go the student counseling center.</p>

<p>You sound very depressed and whether it is merely situational or chemical in nature, talking to someone and possibly getting meds can help you a great deal. </p>

<p>I would recommend making plans to move back on campus and finding a dorm that is suitable - perhaps one geared to transfer students might be suitable. The students would be your age and you would have more experience on campus so you could become a guide or mentor to someone who is new and doesn't already have a built in network of friends.</p>

<p>Also, are you enjoying your studies and your major? If not, go to the career advising center and see what else you might like.</p>

<p>Another possibility is to get out of your room and VOLUNTEER. Your school probably has a volunteer center that is happy to have everyone who wants to volunteer. An hour or two a day or two a week at a day care center or doing gardening or chores for somebody, tutoring at an afterschool program or any other type of activity they may have. You will step aside from yourself and the act of helping another may help you to temper your sadness and loneliness.</p>

<p>Please don't do anything rash. You obviously love your parents and care for and about them and I am sure they feel the same way. Reach out to them or to a close relative or friend or teacher. </p>

<p>I wish you the best and hope to hear that you are feeling better soon.</p>

<p>First you need to seek help immediatly if you are depressed. Talk to a professional - you don't need to go through this alone. And open up to your parents and tell them what's going on and be honest with them. Stay strong and good luck.</p>

<p>Please go talk to someone, anyone, you just can't hold it all in and you shouldn't have to. Try joining a club or two and moving back on campus. Also, I second the volunteering, I volunteer at an animal shelter and it really does help you to make friends and gsin confidence. Please dont let this take over your life, just remember; you are loved and important. : )</p>

<p>To give a more concrete suggestion of who you can call, this is the National Suicide Hotline's number: 1-800-273-8255. I know it can be hard to go find who can help you, especially if your school's mental health services aren't postering the whole campus all the time, but that is a place to start... :/ Beyond that I don't have much more to add to what the other posters already said, except that you don't have to be an "incredible loser" to not make friends in college! You got put in a really difficult freshman dorm, which put you in a bad place to start, and then making friends is just a hard thing to do, even for people you might think found it easy. Please feel better, and please go talk to someone! You can get through this, you really can.</p>

<p>Wow, sounds like my exact situation. I too am a sophomore, and I've battled depression and anxiety for the past six years. It's hard, I know, but find a close friend to confide in. When you're feeling extremely suicidal, talk to him or her. Chances are, they'll make you realize something you hadn't realized before and make you reconsider. I've been there; I have three plans ready to go, and I've found myself going to the top floor of a dorm or pulling out my rope several times. </p>

<p>Also go to your counseling center. Even if it means taking medication to make you feel better temporarily, do so. Even if you can't find anyone to talk to, just talking to a counselor or psychiatrist helps immensely. Consider joining classes at your center/in your community to be able to relate to others. </p>

<p>Do tell your parents. I told mine, and while they did not take it very well (I just told them this weekend), they will support you and show that they really do care. Don't do anything just yet. And don't think about cutting or other means of self-harm to cope with the pain. My arms are mired in scars... it's only a temporary means of relief.</p>

<p>Are you ok? OP, please come back and tell us you're all right.</p>