<p>I am a member of a sorority that I have heard referred to as for losers. It annoys me so much because we are a caring group of girls. The “cool” sororities, it seems to me, are made up of girls who are interested in outward appearance.</p>
<p>My sorority welcomes girls who are average, heavy set, have pimples, and who can’t afford to dress in designer clothes. I find our group accepting and welcoming and wonder why we are called “losers.” </p>
<p>In fact, I think we are a group of winners!!! </p>
<p>Our world has so many people whojudge and speak badly of others without really getting to know the other person. </p>
<p>I wish I had the power to get those “cool” sororities to look within and see how downright mean and damaging their views are!!!</p>
<p>Good for you for finding a sorority that suits you and that you feel comfortable in. Do these other sororities say these things to your faces or is it behind your back? If it is to your face you should confront that person and say “Why would you say that?”. This question catches people off guard and turns the situation around to look at THEM. I have used this question in many situations, usually when someone is crossing boundaries and being rude in a way that they are used to getting away with. Don’t let them get away with it. If it is behind your back, ignore it! Who cares?! The fact that they are saying it shows me that they are insecure and maybe even a bit jealous. I know that you may think that sounds crazy but it isn’t. They may recognize that your group is authentic and accepting and, at some level, want that for themselves.
Anyway, congrats on being real and remember that the girls in your sorority are your “sisters for life”. It sounds like you found a great family!</p>
<p>I guess it brings to life the whole issue of bullying and “mean girls” which is alive and well even at college. Sooooo many girls desperately want to be in a “cool sorority” and don’t even try for ours.</p>
<p>I’d rather feel comfortable and loved and not have to worry about everything I say or that I’m having a bad hair day. </p>
<p>I’d like to think that those mean girls are just insecure…they whisper and giggle and act as tho their sh** doesn’t stink. So mean and pathetic really!</p>
<p>Seems to me the whole Greek scene is one big continuation of the high school cool kids/uncool kids drama - with a lot of substance abuse and casual sex thrown in.</p>
<p>^And that is why I don’t want my daughters to go to schools where there is a prominent Greek presence. Oldest D was afraid to tell me she was thinking of doing the rush thing as a freshman - but then she changed her mind and decided not to. She later joined a sorority focused more on service, and less on the social stuff.</p>
<p>I was in a sorority in college and to be totally upfront here the sorority I was in was considered the most popular. However this was on a pretty low key campus and I can assure you that we had several members who were average, heavy set, no designer clothes, etc. So please don’t judge the "cool " sororities too harshly.</p>
<p>It doesn’t matter how the sorority is perceived by others. If you are happy in your sorority and like the girls and have true friends there then that is a good and positive thing. That is what a sorority experience should be.</p>
<p>It’s sort of interesting when you realize who “rates” the sororities. It’s the fraternities who want the hottest girls to “hook up” with! If you read ratings of sororities you will see that the “popular” ones are rated as having the hottest girls, while the ones rated lower down are rated as having less attractive girls who are nice.</p>
<p>And people come to accept those ratings as gospel. So the down to earth, nice girls lose out in the ratings…and “popular” sororities seek out the prettiest girls to continue themselves being rates high.</p>
<p>Those who can see through this nonsense see that the sororities that are rated lowest are actually the ones less likely to hook up or less attractive girls who do not want to hook up with random boys or who those boys find less good looking or less easy.</p>
<p>So this whole “popular” sorority thing is a farce that people buy into!</p>
<p>Enjoy your time in your sorority and don’t be concerned with who is “cool” or “hot”. In my experience, sororities are successful if the sisters are active and represent the ideals of the organization. Continue to show love for your organization and you will continue to attract the kinds of girls that you want to have as sisters. That said, unless you have close friends in the other houses, it is hard to judge their sisterhood. If the sisterhood was so weak, they would not have sisters staying active for all the years in school. I was in one of those “superficial” houses, but we actually were really close sisters as well. I felt a connection to those people not because of how they dressed or a need to be invited to great fraternity parties. Rather, it just felt like home. Hopefully the girls in your comparison also feel the same way. Sisterhood is not a competition (once recruitment is over), and I am glad that you have found your sisters.</p>
<p>Just curious, how do you find out what ‘rating’ your sorority is? </p>
<p>D1 was in a sorority (and made the best friends of her life there, two of which she is still roommates with almost three years out of college), but D2 wanted nothing to do with them. I say to each its own. </p>
<p>The one thing I was aware of is GPA ratings, and D1’s sorority was either #1 or #2 ranked GPA sorority on campus while she was there. That’s what matters to me. I know she’s around a group of girls that takes their academics somewhat seriously and they were good influences on her (and she on them!).</p>
<p>I am glad that you found a sorority that suits you. My college had a heavy greek presence, but it was basically the foundation of social life at my small, geeky engineering school. Everyone (all greek groups & all non affiliated students) was welcome at parties, and they were events where we actually TALKED (unlike some of the greek events I hear about from others …). My H was in a fraternity, and both of us had friends from every greek group as well as independents. We have only fond memories. Our D, on the other hand, is 100% not interested in any part of the greek scene; our S seems to have not even noticed that a greek scene exists on his campus. I am well aware that sororities are “ranked” on D’s campus … that was fortunately not my personal experience. I would say that a group that is welcoming is exactly the right group for the OP. You will learn a lot that will help you in life (hey, I always seem to be the only one familiar with Roberts Rules of Order!), and you will have bonds that will last throughout your life. Enjoy these years! :)</p>
<p>teriwtt, believe me … there are schools where sororities are “ranked” informally. You will see it on CC college threads, and rankings are well-known on many campuses.</p>
<p>It is so important that people realize how and by whom the sororities are ranked. They are ranked by fraternities who want what they want with the sorority girls so they rank them according to how easy and physically desirable the girls are NOT about what wonderful personalities and great friends the girls can be.</p>
<p>And the girls in the “popular” rated sororities believe they are “better than” the sororities ranked lower…</p>
<p>But actually to be ranked lower is a compliment which says that those girls are not easy and are not simply pretty faces.</p>
<p>My D is in a sorority and loves it. They are probably not known for being the “coolest”, but they have had the highest GPA on campus a few quarters and is filled with girls of all colors and sizes…and all beautiful inside and out. She said their reputation on campus is…“sorority X has the girls you want to date, but D’s sorority has the girls you want to marry”. That is not too bad of a reputation to have?</p>
<p>I agree with Son of Opie. People are superficial by nature…some embrace it, some reject it but it’s really within all of us to judge people by looks. </p>
<p>The best defense to a sorority or fraternity with a superiority complex is to not give them the attention they think they deserve. The more you bash them, the more you legitimate their “cool” status. Guys LOVE it when you think they’re a dbag “fratboy,” and girls love it when you think they’re “gossip girl.” They know that secretly, you yourself wish you could have the choice to be like them or be with them even as you claim to dislike them. Also, many are not even secure in their frat/sorority status either, and comments like yours only legitimate it. They think if you hate them, it’s probably because you’re jealous. Ever heard the phrase “Don’t hate me cuz I’m beautiful”? It’s better to treat them as equals or not to recognize them at all.</p>
<p>FallGirl, obviously the OP was talking about her particular school. But I do agree that not all sororities/fraternities are the same. Some of the coolest (aka blessed with looks and social graces) also post the highest GPAs. </p>
<p>We don’t have Greek life at my school, but we do have a social system (eating club) that’s kind of similar in allowing the superficiality of human nature to manifest itself in different ways through it. Some of the groups are selective, but some are by lottery (which I think it’s pretty exciting).</p>
<p>Why is it that the supposed “cool” sorority girls don’t take a look at themselves and say “ya know what? I know that we treat other girls from other sororities really badly and I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>Is that possible to expect people to really look within and see themselves for who they really are? </p>
<p>Don’t the “popular” girls realize the huge price they pay (reputation for bring easy, concerned with hair and nails more than someone’s kind heart)</p>
<p>““sorority X has the girls you want to date, but D’s sorority has the girls you want to marry”. That is not too bad of a reputation to have?”</p>
<p>Well…I’d rather be in a club where female members are not passively defined by their appeal to men, regardless of whether that appeal is substantive or shallow. I have not found this to be the case with other clubs (singing groups, sports teams, women’s coalition etc.), only sororities. Many clubs have social stereotypes, sure, but I’ve never heard anything along the lines of “Hook up with a choir singer, marry a softball player.”</p>
<p>One of my daughters and I were Greek. I was in the Jewish house because that was the only choice back then. I am still friends with some of my sisters today. We were not a top house. My daughter (at the same university) is in a “top house”. Never have I heard them disparage other houses for being/not being top tier. (whatever that means because every house has a different strength)</p>
<p>However, let us not be naive. Pretty people get hired more quickly. My daughter is on a sports team. The pretty people (and there are several, Greek and non Greek) who are sent to refs, tournament directors etc. to resolve issues. They seem to have far more success than the not so cute. ALL the kids know this. All the kids from all the universities.</p>
<p>I really don’t think this is a top tier versus non Greek issue and or lower tier issue (and I totally agree that one is a “winner” when one joins any organization, learns from it and thrives by taking those lessons forward). This is a life issue, fair or not.</p>
<p>Whatever happened at the college where the National HQ tried to de-certifiy the local sorority chapter because the gals didn’t fit a particular image? This was about two years ago. Maybe it was a midwest liberal arts college?</p>