Sorority Recruitment Disaster

This year recruitment was on Zoom and more people rushed than ever at my school. I’m not sure what the normal process looks like, but I thought Zoom might actually be an advantage since you can have better conversations. At the end of it all, I was only invited back to one house, and it was the one that I had ranked last. Just some background: I have no social media and am super involved on campus (several clubs + beginning research). I figured these two things might make me stand out, but many of my friends were invited back to the houses they wanted to and I was not. Anybody have any explanation for me that is in a sorority? Does being too involved look bad? Is it weird to want to be in a sorority but have no social media presence?

I can offer no advice on sororities, but if being involved “looks bad” do yourself a favor and run as fast as you can from those girls!

Being involved is going to pay off for you, in opportunities and friendships, in your life.

Hugs on going through this process, I know I could not have handled it when I was in college!


I agree! Don’t give it a second thought. There is SO much to do in college. Don’t waste your time on a sorority.

Did you know any of the active sorority members before recruitment (in person, or online?)
Were any of them in your classes, research or clubs?

If the answer is no, then I suspect your lack of social media may have played a part this year. With limited opportunities to meet people before recruitment (I think your school has recruitment in spring?), then many early cuts are made based on ‘who you know already’ and ‘what someone looks like on social media’. Each chapter has to release people each round, and this can make you an easy cut unfortunately. NOT saying I agree with this, but I can see it happening.

One option is to rush again next year. Things will be more open hopefully, giving you a chance to meet more sorority women on campus. You will also rush in person which makes it a lot easier to see if you/they are a fit. You could also consider having a social media and put an occasional nice picture up - not just selfies but maybe group shots of your friends and you out for lunch, or chilling at the beach, or on a group project.

Of course, there is plenty to do outside a sorority, so I wouldn’t give it another thought. Sorority life comes with a lot of time commitments and obligations (some of which seem rather silly, esp once you’re not freshman) and you may decide you are busy enough with your clubs and research and friends.

Good luck

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This is a process for both sides, and girls who have connections before the process begins do have a bit of an advantage because more sisters know them and feel more comfortable extending repeat invitations and ultimately a bid. It is important to remember that sororities want to make sure the people they ultimately extend a bid to will most likely accept and will be a good match for the sorority.

The other thing to keep in mind is that in many ways, rush is very much like college admissions, sororities have a limited number of spots to give at each cut. It could very much be less of a rejection of you and more that other candidates had more of a connection to the houses you ranked higher.

When we had rush, there were often girls we liked but didn’t have enough room for during formal rush. Those girls would often be looked at again during informal rush and often would get a bid during that process.

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You’re fine. Social Media is soooo overrated. Many studies showing the negatives of having a social media presence. Live your life.

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I agree with all of the above posts. Both of my daughters did not have successful recruitment the first time. The older one went through recruitment again. She was pleased with the outcome. It’s important to know what has changed from the year prior. For example, simply not being on zoom might be reason enough! I think, for her, developing some confidence went a long way. Invest in getting to know sorority members in your other activities. It’s a good idea to express interest in their house.
My younger daughter went through like you - on zoom. She was so disappointed. She has a nice presence on social media so cross that item off your list of worries. I’m encouraging her to be open to informal opportunities in the fall.
One other aside, if you have social media, you can see what the houses are doing. It’s a great way to learn about their activities and philanthropy.
Be proud of your accomplishments and involvement! Finding one’s place has been so difficult this year. I think that’s why record numbers went through recruitment, hoping to find a place. I’m happy that you’ve found activities that you like.

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Rush is very different on Zoom. I don’t know if you had a Rho Chi (group leader that normally takes the group around to the houses) but that would be a good person to ask how things were done, what outside things they looked at (recommendations, legacy, media pages, resume). Normally, it is 90% what happens during the parties and the other stuff is support (my house no longer considers legacy and we don’t require recommendations). I doubt in previous years the houses even had time to look at media pages for the thousands going through Rush. This year was different.

I was very surprised at the large numbers who still went through Rush at schools where all students were remote, but think students were looking to have as many connections to the school as possible.